Celebrating 25 years married to the love of my life with a holiday on a beautiful island 45 minutes from the mainland. Posting this from the one spot with a semi-reliable 4g signal. Bliss.

And of *course* the Liberal National Party are supporting Trump's actions in Venezuela like the Tory scum they are

My ability to accidentally scare the shit out of people just by quietly vibing on the couch claimed another victim this morning. Bade good morning to one of Mr 16's mates and he jumped out of his skin

Found me something at the farmers market 🤩

Me: *grumbles about my arthritic toes playing up The Man Flesh: you could always cut them off Me: JESUS BLACKBEARD, CALM TF DOWN

Did a 5km walk with The Man Flesh at dusk. It was magical.

ISTG this fucking kid

Dear retailers: stacking merch low to the floor right in front of the counter for customers with little to no peripheral vision to trip over when they turn to leave is a terrible, terrible idea; doubly so when said merchandise's packaging is the same sad beige colour as your floor tiles.

Guess it's time to get a new photo ID- I now look nothing like the middle-aged soccer mum on my driver's licence from 2023 and it finally caused some minor issues for me today. It's a good feeling.

Parody song idea: Hurt by Nine Inch Nails, but it's about being middle-aged and doing your back in while performing mundane tasks

Merry Santaggeddon all... Australia's lowest underpass has claimed another victim, so your prezzies might be a little late

Christmas mohawk courtesy of the first-born's mad hairdressing skills

Was at the fish and chip shop at 6.30am to pick up a kilo of prawns for Christmas lunch Grabbed the parcel and one of the pointy little fuckers stabbed me in the hand (I don't even like seafood)

Mother FUCKER Just got Whammed in the supermarket D:

Fuck, it's hot.

They'll NEVER SEE PAPA AGAIN!!!

Huh The doorbell rang (it's a Eufy camera doover) and nobody was there Heatwave malfunction or a Christmas ghost?

Finally finished restoring the cabinet on this treadle 201k I picked up 12 months ago and am on the home stretch with the machine rehab. I've named her Elvira because she's gorgeous, slightly evil and has tortured me every step of the way.

I don't want gen AI in my browser I don't want gen AI in my pc I don't want gen AI in my art I don't want gen AI in my games I don't want gen AI in my music I don't want gen AI in my movies I don't want gen AI in my books I don't want gen AI in my cart I don't want gen AI in my life

Two intense Pilates classes in two days... Today's coach was fucking brutal and actively trying to kill me. Still cheaper than a session at a dungeon, though

Found before shots of the benches- the amount of filth they left in my car was damn near biblical

First-born wanted garden benches for Christmas. The Man Flesh was looking at plastic shit. So to his chagrin, I picked up the two cheapest, rustiest, filthiest, most rotten specimens on Marketplace (they even had mushrooms growing on them). Nek minnit:

Frontal lobe update: still functioning like a normal person's, still weirded out by it.

Behold: Bess's base, freshly repainted and ready to go. Just waiting for that part to come back from the engineering shop and then it's playtime.

Start A Business Where People Pay You To Shit On Their Enemy's Doorstep And Call It Deliverpoo It's 8:00AM

OH FUCK I'M WAITING FOR ENDO APPOINTMENT AND MY OLD SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER JUST ROCKED UP (Thankfully she doesn't seem to recognise me)

“No, Schmuck. You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. Without information, it’s just babble, hot air and farts in the wind.” - Harlan Ellison

Resprayed the treadle table while I wait for the needle bar driver lever to come back from the engineering shop. #singer29k58 #vintagesewimg

Eight years ago today, Australia voted to legalise marriage equality for same-sex couples. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 #lovewins

😂

Random thought: I think we need another Footrot Flats movie, with @rhysiedarby.bsky.social voicing Dog.

First Pilates class since 2021, didn't die. Giving myself a gold star.

Gruß vom Krampusnacht. Merry Krampus night, hope y’all been good or you’re going in the bag.

Son needed a bigger bed since he is too tall for a double; husband & I wanted to downsIze to a double since we no longer have 2 preschoolers and 2 cats bunking in with us. Son got our old queen bed & I treated myself to this antique beauty.

Ma-in-law is getting cheeky in her dotage Yesterday she referred to my eldest's partner as her future grandson-in-law and I nearly died

WE ARE MILLENNIALS WE WERE RAISED BY THE TV BECAUSE OUR PARENTS WERE NARCISSISTIC BOOMERS WHICH HONESTLY PRETTY GOOD CALL CUZ THEIR FRAMEWORK OF THE WORLD IS CATEGORICALLY RANCID MS FRIZZLE WAS ACTUALLY A BETTER TEACHER THAN MOST

Oh, shit... The needle bar driving lever bent in the fall. Luckily I have a heap of play money saved up from Marketplace sales and also a source for a ($200AUD) replacement.

Singer 29k58 - 1 Horn sewing table - 0 (I'm fine, the machine's fine, the table... Yeah. Might be fixable, but it was already dodgy thanks to water damage)

When they ask just how filthy I can be

TIT

Pondering whether I can get a refund on this shitty-ass meat mecha I'm piloting

I tried so hard to be what my dad wanted and it was never enough. Walking away from him was the only option. I wish he had been who I needed but he never was and that's just the world we live in.

Bought a new tablecloth with a cute rooster print. The First-born: "OMG IT'S A TABLECOCK"

Like butter. #vintagesewingmachines #singer29k58

george The Damned The Hard-Ons They Might Be Giants My Chemical Romance

Just saw a woman in town enjoying a smoke while chatting with a magpie. Seemed like they were having a pretty deep and meaningful convo

Was just blindsided by Burt Reynolds' bare arse in a Redbubble ad. 😑

good sex is locked behind a big wrought iron gate and tragically the only way to get through the door and reach the good sex is for you to have a kinda unsexy boring conversation about boundaries and interests and comfort levels with your partner(s)