never shoulda smoked that shit now im in an MF DOOM interlude [old timey radio voice] the villain uses many weapons against his enemies *metallic thud* [tom and jerry sample] YEEEEEEOUCH

i am not joking when i saw that this is the heart of what woke 2 is all about

Kat Abughazaleh doing really well but still losing is a great outcome for the learn nothing and just defend your priors crowd, aka everybody

🫡🫡🫡

Dun3 credits are crazy. Two Withs and two Ands are unheard of leaves of agent jockeying for billing status

Hard to imagine anyone else but a socialist doing this. Just heads and shoulders above the rest, it’s pretty incredible. The mayor of New York City is doing political education to celebrate Saint Patrick’s day. Signs and wonders.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! #TheSimpsons

Posted a picture of myself at Chicago St. Paddy's and now all of my targeted ads are for, like, the mere concept of taking a month off from drinking. Doesn't seem to be tied to an app or anything like that. Mark Zuckerberg is worried about me

Gotta get Timmy a Dune 3 Best Actor nom so he can lose to Tom Cruise in a dog shit movie everyone hates. Then when his 4 loss breaks him mentally and spiritually we will get the Real Good Shit in truly insane career choices

If the back half of The Brutalist lived up to the first half, it would be the single greatest film of the 21st century, and potentially the greatest American film ever made.

Conan can win an Emmy for his Oscars hosting and that's when we enter a sort of Real Heads Only level of award show ball knowledge that I am specifically built for

This is still the greatest movie related moment of 2025 for me

tonight marks the first time a woman has won an Oscar for best casting

I love the Oscars

real winner is whoever organized the Marty smear campaign elite level shit Weinsteins Would Be Proud

A Woke Ginger attempting to rat fuck Chicago elections? What is this [googles famous redheads from Chicago] uhh the piano bar in River North?

Dennis RodandConeman

“At some point, in ideal conditions, maybe I would be able to cobble together some feelings about Donald Glover playing a digital dinosaur, but right now I’m tired—very, very tired,” said Wisconsin resident Gina Logan

Pleenus

I love movies!!!!!!!

It is my deepest regret to inform you that the Ted show on Peacock is really good

Darth Crumbo

This weekend there's going to be a lot of Irish people being like "why is Chicago dying their river green? We don't care about this holiday as much as they do." and I just want to make it clear that Chicago St. Patrick's Day isn't about or for you. This is our thing. Don't worry about it

Unfortunately Trump is still really funny sometimes

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Truly a perfect news alert

Does Mars still need moms? Did we ever get the situation fixed?

33 year old man who refuses to reflect on his behavior voice: I wonder if these anti-hangover pills I keep getting advertised on Instagram actually worked

NO NO NO YOU DON’T GUYS LET ME PLEASE SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF FREE TAX USA federal is free, state is $16, handles even my chaotic freelancer taxes just fine, same step-by-step “designed for normies” kind of interface as TurboTax but NOT EVIL tell everyone you know www.freetaxusa.com

Tune your TV to FXX: "Homer At The Bat" is on

If you make short form video content and you joke about how you're only make this video so X product you're using can be a tax write off the IRS should immediately kick down your door

Pedestrian gang stays winning

i don't care about any arguments against this. right now the sum total of my political advocacy is: crush the Republicans and make them pay. i don't care what comes after because until we do that nothing better is possible.

The Pitt - 3:00pm

I think if we really buckle down and focus we can make gas five or even six dollars a gallon

No thank you

Gen X parents of Gen Z children creating the most evil little pieces of shit on the planet

No, the US military did this

i'm not an economist but if 900 people can afford to fund $3,000 checks to damn near everyone else in america and still be insanely fuckin rich afterwards maybe they have too much fuckin money

We're losing Beach Boys we've never even heard of

I'm very excited for The Bride! which looks exactly like the sort of dumb shit movie I tend to love

Hey that’s about the cost of the SSI Restoration Act, which would cut recipient poverty by 60%, eliminate marriage penalties, and modernize draconian asset limits.

Pull all of your missiles out of the bank! The bank has run out of missiles! #TheBankHasRunOutOfMissiles

"ChatGPT, make me more missiles" "Actually I can't do that, General Podcast. I can only give you ideas on how to make more missiles yourself." "OK go" "Return to 1970 and do not systematically dismantle your ability to manufacture anything except Shareholder Value." "ChatGPT write me a will."

I appreciate that Noah Wylie is like a politician when he talks in interviews. He's always on message and thanks his crew, his cast and his union while saying basically nothing interesting or controversial. He knows The Pitt is a big responsibility and has made him the Mayor of Television

clickhole.com/unsettling-y... this just happened to me

Uh no...we definitely realize it.

“I vant…to smoke…your veed.” - weed dracula

Stepped into this exact coffeeshop but it's Chicago so there's still a giant picture of the '85 Bears in here