Imagine dealing with fucking Stephen miller and JD Vance all day every day meeting mamdani must have been like drinking a tall glass of Diet Coke with the good ice after crawling through a burning desert for a week lol

A shared distrust of newspapers 💞

There's about a thousand miles between "homeless" and "living in airbnbs" c'mon man

There's sometimes a big to-do about how you shouldn't have a guilty pleasure. That anything that gives you joy you should not hide away but take pride. That is wrong. There's a bunch of shit that's lame and embarrassing to like. I've watching a lot of Fiona and Cake, for example.

Goddamn dude, just go ahead knock 25 percent off my 401k and get on with it, I can't take much more of this.

For those keeping track: The government pursued charges against five people arrested outside the ICE facility in Broadview, IL during a protest there on Sept. 27. As of today, all five of those cases have now been thrown out.

nuremberg trials is no longer the moderate position. the scarecrow trials from the dark knight rises when bane takes control of gotham is now the moderate position

Pretty incredible of Keith Olbermann to be such a disgusting pig that he finally makes Olivia Nuzzi a sympathetic character in this story of craven social climbers ruining their own lives for no reason

I guess "modern American masculinity is a neotenous emotional state where the culture permits, and even cultivates, juvenile developmental qualities into adulthood" is just a fancy way of saying "everyone is twelve now"

My wife posted a picture of me on x the everything app and it's going kind of viral right now mostly because everyone is jealous of our built in bookshelves

These people are basically bugs to me

Every man in Chicago weighs either 125 or 250 lbs no matter how tall we are and we are all wearing at least one article of clothing that says “CHICAGO” on it at all times

Umm technically he’s called Netanyahu’s Monster

West Virginia football is ass and butt

Heading to the local movie plex to watch Now You 3 Me

Peggy Siegel emailing the most notorious pedophile in history: Yo have you seen this James Cameron joint?

it’s true that death threats are very funny but it’s probably reasonable that you cant post them even if you’re patton oswalt or sarah kendzior

It would be so cool if all of these people went to jail just out of Trump's weird pettiness. Broken clock justice system

"Interesting crumb" — the intelligent ant

Democrat dark money for AOC 🫡🫡🫡

sometimes i feel like the republican party is a big tornado that is coming to kill me. and the democratic party is the rickety shed that i'm hiding in. and i say "we should really fix this shed, because it's not doing much." and people say "what? why aren't you criticizing the tornado instead?!"

I do really think it's the air travel stuff that made them break. Starve the population for 40 days, sure, no problem, but as soon as you have to sit in DCA terminal B for more than a 1 hour it's time to give the GOP the farm

No thanks!

[worked on a boat for 2 months 3 years ago] The Downeaster Alexa by Billy Joel is about me

This film asks the question "What if there was a Frankenstein?" and the answer just might surprise you

Would you believe a Mountain Goats album that's a musical about a shipwreck is The Most Me Shit of All Time?

Stunned onlookers were overheard asking “Did we die? Is this Hell?"

Bikes are for children, cars are for losers. Walk or take the bus

Insanely cool press release from CTU after the election basically crediting their involvement in Brandon Johnson's campaign in Chicago for Zohran's victory in New York. We will rewrite entire histories to make sure Chicago is mentioned 🫡

New York election day

Remember in Vice (2018) when Jesse Plemons plays the guy whose heart is given to Dick Cheney?

there was a time i never thought i could hate a politician more than i hated that guy. in retrospect, very naive of me

Gotta give it up to the GOAT for rat fucking the filing deadline to keep the machine rolling. Will miss having this guy in Congress. 🫡🫡

Virginia, my beautiful home state, and a source of equal parts pride and shame, searched high and low, from the Chesapeake Bay to the Appalachian Mountains, and found the worst Democrat on the planet to be their governor

We live in the most evil country in the world.

I'm doing fine

A truly classic Bears 4th quarter implosion happening right now

Bobby "Borris" Pickett

I actually went to high school with The Grabber and he was just the nicest guy. Didn't run in the same circles but he always had a kind word or just a friendly hi to anyone in the halls. Really happy for all of his recent success.

[eyes snap open in the middle of the night] what has Briga Heelan been up to recently? Is she still in showbiz?

i've done it, i've found the most west virginia business on the planet

Hurriedly emailing various BDS groups asking if it's ok to take advantage of the McDonald's kiosk loophole during the Monopoly Sweepstakes because technically I'm not spending any money

Picking out my tattoo to cover up the one I didn't realize was a Nazi symbol and accidentally picking one of the lesser known Klan symbols

Acquaintances from high school are posting photos on Instagram of their children with the worst God damn haircut you've ever seen on another human beings

It's funny that in the movie BLADE you learn that Blade's real name is Eric

It’s actually on Chicago’s South Side. I haven’t see any news about a project like this in Central Illinois.