I lived in NE for years and years and will admit to unironically loving Moxie, but much like Chicagoans and Malort, I’m self-aware about what it is

I basically enjoyed The Outer Worlds at the time, but I realized pretty quickly that it was about two dozen decent-to-solidly-funny worldbuilding jokes wrapped around about 12 hours of B+ gameplay. I still enjoyed it! It didn't leave me hankering for the sequel, though.

Just realized that Emperor Qin Shi Huang's "Terracotta Army" of clay soldiers he kept in a vault in like 200 BC make him the first Warhammer Guy. he got some disposable income and started painting minis. totally get it

They gentrified the tinfoil hat

I didn't know Las Vegas had a Washington Monument

I never thought I would see a roasting thread as good as the shoe roast. I thought the days of glory were behind us. I was wrong. A bright new day has arrived.

Evel Knievel couldn't jump the chasm between what I wanted these to be and what they actually were.

This is absolutely something I would do, ESPECIALLY when bored, but "divorce" would be one of the better-case scenarios if I tried it

Another year, another Christmas at my in-laws marveling at the most out of pocket ornament I have ever seen

Live action makes this harder, because a lot of the “unfilmable” stuff I would want to do would work better as animation, probably. So, let’s go with The Kingkiller trilogy, assuming Doors of Stone ever sees the light of day. Casting Kvothe might be a nightmare though

Not now, haunted Victorian shoes

What has to go wrong for people to flee TO Mike Pence?

every wiki article about classic UK comedy like "Father and Sons was a comedy duo comprised of Reg Father and Tommy Sons, who appeared on a record breaking 18,450 episodes of The Light Applause Hour. Reg Father died in 1988 of Cigarette Fever. Tommy Sons remains alive in prison since 1997"

This is the cover for the Trapper Keeper belonging to the biggest shithead in your Social Studies class

Become ungovernable

I must say, car dealerships are getting very clever with their financing options

As a tech guy, I get hit with a double whammy, here: people outside my field know so much less than I would like, and the people in the field often know even less than that

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

After much research and development I have made an offline version of ChatGPT. Now you can save water and electricity while navel-gazing, and carry one of the world's most powerfully annoying AI chatbots in your pocket.

andy reid has lost the plot by trying to coach to the culture. one season that might mean taylor swift, but then you get to this year and you’re suddenly 6-7

ANTON CHIGURH: these are questions you think you want to ask. what good is knowledge if it is unusable. BARISTA: mister, i just asked if you wanted oat or whole milk ANTON CHIGURGH: and that’s so easy. that’s the false choice you wake up with every morning BARISTA: i toldt you we don’t got soy

The proliferation of AI-generated cute animal videos is a great reason to follow animal rescues, and donate to them as long as you're doing that. For the care of the animals and also creating a space for reliably authentic videos of baby skunks skittering across hardwood floors

This poor cat is just living his best life blissfully unaware that he's a stock photo for “big fatass cat”

I have bet against Big Game Jim before and I have done so only to my detriment. This movie is going to set sales records that will only be eclipsed by its sequels.

I'm the Jack and Jill bathroom where the Jill is just a window I can break to escape this funhouse

Back in the days of the Old Internet, there was a site called Fametracker that did Fame Audits of various celebrities. It was consistently hilarious and we absolutely need to resurrect it so we can implement this

Look, I am very, very white, both physically and culturally. But even I'm not this white. Also, the comments talking about her husband are how I learned that he's _32_ years older than she is, and I've never understood someone's daily life less

I think I’m pretty clean but let’s see: tell me what the deal is, @profanity.accountant

I have a lot of questions, but I want to be very clear on this next part: I absolutely do NOT require answers

😈 Maleficent, the evil queen, had her goblins searching for Sleeping Beauty for 16 years. 🛑 BUT…. they were looking for a baby the whole time. Acceptance criteria fail! 🧠 This is why it’s so important for villains to leverage AGILE practices. Don’t let this become your team. My new ecourse will

One thing I don’t like about Star Wars is how every Yoda is on the Jedi council or connected to a prophecy or a beloved cultural icon, it’s time for a Yoda who works at Buffalo Wild Wings and has a 2014 Ford Focus

The real generational divide is people who refuse to watch a video if it could be an article versus people who refuse to read an article if it could be a video

Bodied by my eldest , frankly

I am amazingly proud to have inspired this

My kid figured out very quickly that there was a tone in my voice that meant "not til you're older" and a different tone that meant "not ever, like EVER." He cottoned on pretty fast that Roblox was in that latter group.

I realized I did not want to be a chemist, and my advisor suggested I give a CS course a try.

House votes on dumbass resolution condemning socialism, meanwhile the DSA's Lisan al-Gaib rolls the truculent child brain president like a pair of socks

“I want TurboTax to go away. Fuck their lobbying-to-keep-shit-complicated asses.” /monkey’s paw curls

We need the Minority Report precogs but for social media mute words

Seeing that "Part 1" felt benign before I clicked on the link. After reading it to the end, those are the two most horrifying words I've read in a WHILE

i am going to continue to maintain that normal people hate this shit, and people will *especially* hate *this* shit

I was explaining the idea behind "benefit of the doubt" to my kid the other day, and even he picked up immediately that you have to have some doubt in the first place for it to work

I could toss out the most ridiculous, over the top response to this question, and probably still be off by orders of magnitude

I feel bad for legal cat, but this is tremendous content.

British and Australian chemists have discovered a powerful new antibiotic called pre-methylenomycin C lactone, hiding in a well-known soil bacterium. This molecule kills drug-resistant bacteria without triggering resistance. buff.ly/YlXaONo #ShareGoodNewsToo

Take a drink of something you don't mind cleaning off your screen. Hold it. Then attempt to read the following article without incident. Let me know how far you get

The funniest argument against lowering the voting age has always been “Teenagers will just vote for stupid shit!” and it’s like, friendo, have you seen the American electorate

There's a whole lot to unpack here, but everything is summed up perfectly with "profound Dubai energy"

Not sure if it's my MOST woke opinion, but: A driver's license should be SIGNIFICANTLY harder to get and keep. And anything larger than NIssan Sentra should require a CDL.

Nothing like a proposal for a modest amount of lower-income housing nearby to find out who your neighbors are.