Absolute all-timer sentence in today's @nytimes.com

I want to know what that warning sign says on the dash...

Surely there comes a point where it's better to swim?

Right then... (he said three hours late now he's not trying to ping the overloaded 5g tower near the County Ground)

tempt them back to room with banana

Got my performance review.

Good morning. Here's Gareth Hunt demonstrating the dangers of trying to work whist nursing the mother of all hangovers.

In something of a dilemma, the pile of unfinished books on my bedside table is now tall enough to obscure almost all the light from my reading lamp.

Happy Stanislav Petrov day, everyone.

As a young, inexperienced biker (Suzuki GS125 no less) on my way to Devon for a camping holiday, I was chased briefly by a big bloke on a big bike waving a big stick. Utterly terrified as he drew alongside, shouting at me. At his third attempt I realised he was shouting, “You dropped this tentpole!”

Found the gfriend crying with laughter this morning at this. Once I read it, I got close to hyperventilating. johnfinnemore.substack.com/p/welcome-to...

The film's just started on BBC4 if anyone wants to see how they cover the horse beans. Not while you're having your tea though, eh?

[shakes fist at sky] DANIEL DAY-LEWIS!!

Look what we have here then.

I'm not sure what I was expecting from this documentary about extreme birdwatching, but this is terrific. Find two hours and get on it. youtu.be/zl-wAqplQAo?...

One of the things I love about buying charity shop books is the incredible stuff you find left in them as bookmarks. Pictured: a ticket for a 1988 WI meeting insisting in caps that the attendees wear buttonholes, and a 1964 hospital raffle ticket where the second prize was A PIG (or five pounds).

Perhaps a better headline might have been "Paracetamol is safer during pregnancy and does not have limits to autism".

Cause of autism? #autism #tylenol

Aw man, Dickie Bird...

Keir Starmer’s spokesperson asked for the PM's response to Nigel Farage’s plan to deport hundreds of thousands of people living and working completely legally in the UK, replies that he thinks it is “unworkable” and “unfunded”. So his objection is that they’ve got their sums wrong

To Larkhill to visit the Royal Artillery Museum for a talk on the oldest surviving aircraft hangars on Europe, which houses some of their storage.

this exists it is called thinking

The ears of the Alton Barnes white horse. #Wiltshire

Oh, you can no longer add a video the queue in youtube without paying for premium. What's next, subscribe to adjust the volume?

This may seem cute but if you do this too much the cyclists may become reliant on cars feeding them, disrupting the delicate roadway ecosystem

(Spoiler alert) #totp

Kingfisher painted onto a Babycham mat. darrenhaymanart.com

A guy from worl once gave me a lift home. As I slid the seat back to get more leg room it broke the case of a Shania Twain cd on the floor. "That won't impress her much", I said, which he didn't find quite as funny as I did. #totp

Two bluetits, a long-tailed tit and a chaffinch all sharing the bird bath at the same time earlier this afternoon. That was nice.

A budgie painted onto an Abbot Ale beer mat from the 1970s. darrenhaymanart.com

got bored. made the test card clown

can't really begin to explain the extent to which I do Not want to be filmed without my knowledge by someone wearing smart glasses while out and about

And here's my assistant, Little Parker Booowles!

Some news stories catch you by surprise, and then...

Cats say a £22bn investment in Dreamies and new Catnip technologies will boost Britain's economy in the next few years

Just made an unprecedented second state visit. I'd give it ten minutes if I were you.

They've been told that racism is wrong but they've also been told that the views they hold are right. So if the views they hold are right then they can't be racist because that is wrong

Essential listening, especially if you have been waiting for decades for someone to say this to Parris, starts from 23 minutes in.

Take a drink every time there's a navigational error causing an incursion into Soviet airspace.

Things I'd like to see in super slow motion: How on earth Mondo Duplantis carried this off. What we get shown in super slow motion: Footballers puffing their cheeks out while waiting for someone to take a corner.

This brilliant photo sort of sums up why I love sport. Just an astonishing human achievement. Also, stupid, pointless thing to do. Both can be true.

New drone factory opening in Swindon, but so far the location is a closely guarded secret. This must narrow it down a bit, though?

"Czestaw Tarkowski was spared a lynching by telling the aggressive locals to ‘F… off’, to which they responded, ‘He’s one of ours!’"

Battle of Britain day tomorrow, and in the current climate it feels appropriate to break out the Polish Heritage Flight t-shirt. Bloody foreigners, coming over here defending our freedom.

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... Very much enjoyed this year's JFSP. Hoping to get to Mulligan's Transport Museum soon (it's just a load of old trains and buses), it sounds right up my street.

Saint George and the Dragon, by Bernat Martorell, 1434–35, 📸 by Michael Dawson

Let's go

There's very good money in being a right-wing hate monger. We really need to be pointing that out a lot more. It's a path to wealth for quite a few people on both sides of the Atlantic in the age of politainment.

Talking about object biographies made me think of this. It’s an Ever-Ready Razor, dates to the 1930s and like all the best most unimportant things you keep hold of, it has a story.