This is good shit

Of COURSE I have no idea what I'm doing. If I DID, I wouldn't be a very good inaccupuncturist, now would I?

Look, all I'm gonna say is that I know a lot of you THINK you want this, but... ...you don't want this Hey, fine, learn the hard way, though.

This is ridiculously cool.

It's pretty rare in an average person's life that there is a countdown that ISN'T final I can't say I've ever had a countdown that just led to a series of other countdowns. If someone is counting down, I'm assuming it's the only one! don't really know why Europe wrote a whole-ass song about it

one of the MAGA clowns at the office is having a pissbaby meltdown about having to wait too long at the doctor's office jeepers, I wonder if there's some reason why wait times may be long? Reduced staffing, maybe? oh well I guess we'll just never know how this could POSSIBLY have ever happened

they say you're not supposed to ascribe human emotions to animal facial expressions but at the same time I know EXACTLY what the fuck this face means

This is the very spot where I caught Canadian shield fever now, 13 years later, I have a canoe, enough storage to hold a month'a worth of food in the bush, a bookcase specifically for maps, AND NEVER ENOUGH THIMBLEBERRIES because I am an idiot who trapped himself in Indiana

Ted Turner's net worth was at least 2.2 billion when he croaked. Used to be around 10 billion. fuck him, I hope he gets reincarnated as someone who actually has to work for a living in 2026 America "Philanthropist", pfffffft philanthrodeez nuuuuuuuts

Picked a kick-ass day to wear my Electrical, Radio, and Machine Workers Union shirt, and I wasn't even TRYING to (sorry my brain cannot process dates well) I'm also not even an electrical, radio, or machine worker or union member. I just like all of that stuff and it's a badass shirt

Due to AI *costs.* This is what journalism promoters of AI don’t want to say out loud: the costs of implementing and constantly policing for AI problems, misuse, policy violations, and fake stories and people. Also that people not wanting to use AI to produce slop are losing jobs and livelihoods.

More. MORE. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

this executive just scheduled a meeting at 12:30 then said "I'm very sorry, I'm just too hungry" and then walked away for ten minutes while the rest of us who postponed our lunches for this meeting just sat and waited for him to come back

I had an interesting lunch bud today

AMAZING FACT OF THE DAY: after a long day of making french fries in the 1950s you would come home to your wife who would hand you a martini and then you would retire to the easy chair in your den to read the newspaper after putting a smoking jacket on over your McDonald's uniform

libs self-reflection: "In these trying times I have done a lot of thinking, and I wish to issue a genuine apology. I strongly regret my actions, I shouldn't have ordered the $35 'deconstructed' bagel at the new brewery that was served with barely any lox, but a completely absurd amount of capers"

not even kidding, I started the prcoess of renewing my passport this morning before I heard the news sometimes I feel like they're fucking with me specifically like, I know they're NOT, but it FEELS like it And that sucks. I already have enough fun brain stuff without paranoia and solipsism thx

Siamo Tutti Antifascisti www.chicagotribune.com/2026/04/28/t...

GOP builds its own petards for easier hoisting

More. MOOOOOOOORE

Steve Perry, former lead singer of Journey, on stage throughout most of his career: "Do I wanna be therrrre in my sataaaaaaaaaaaay" Steve Perry, former lead singer of Journey, ordering at an Indonesian restaurant: "yeah I'll have the chicken city please. Thanks!"

I mean yeah Mr Beast is a piece of shit, who would expect him NOT to be but also... ...why the fuck did y'all decide to make yet another piece of shit rich why do you keep doing this

why does everyone keep telling people that suicide is bad when meanwhile the very purpose of a working person's existence is to be slaughtered at the request of someone with more money and power they own our end and there is no greater crime than taking from the powerful

sometimes I look up Chrome in Edge just so Bill Gates will come to my house and beg me not to and then I can kick him in the dick

How could anyone have possibly anticipated etc etc etc etc what fuckin' dipshit go fuck yourself, Dave

Sorry but if you send me a message that is nothing but an animated .gif and we are not already Best Buds™️ then you will be banished to the Phantom Zone and yes that IS where Zod is and yes he is an extremely annoying and unsavory little pissgoblin Not in the cool way very Twitter:The Person

is gambling bad? Yes are these companies predatory as all hell? yes Are the victims here monumentally fuckstupid? yes is this victim blaming? yes. Don't fucking gamble you clownass dipshit, what the fuck are you doing

Very good to hear the Catholic Bishops condemn the violence in Iran but I'm not so sure about their advice where we just relocate Trump to a different district where the citizens aren't yet aware of all the unfortunate allegations

"A man would shelter, if he could in the nook behind this new plywood. The building, abandoned, the man is too. How I wish you'd imagine if that it were you" Seen in Rochester, New York

wow what is even UP with today look, I'm just a random schmuck with a job I'm not sure why people insist on trying to bribe me for stuff that is just... my job The only thing I want or need is for jerks to fuck off and bother someone who deserves it. stop making things hard, they're hard enough

Someone mentioned that Napoleon Dynamite was a representation of poor people in the West Anderson universe and I think it broke my brain.

oh cool so I guess bluesky is trying to sort out if the Nazi pedophile is also playing by the rules of - and I apologize for the extreme language I'm about to use - religion jeepers, I sure hope the ragtag band of plucky amateur sleuths here manages to get this thing figured out! But alas

That’s Smee in the corner

Using a baby talk voice to point out the daddy issue stuff to my absolute worst uncle is how I FINALLY got him to stop trying to talk to me I also made fun of his truck at the same time tho so maybe that's what really did it Hey, whatever works! sidenote: saying "TWUCK!" is really fun

I’m astonished on a daily basis how all it took was a guy like Trump to turn the entire Republican Party into a mob of simpering yes-men. It’s like the GOP is the party for racists with daddy issues.

Entirely unironically, yes We can just use one of those iPad-Taped-to-a-Stick-Taped-To-A-Segway things for international relations and speaking engagements or just a modified Rockafire Explosion bot both only play early Front 242 songs dead serious tell me it'd be worse

This is cool as hell

The cool thing about all the FBI watchlists is that if you're gonna be on a watchlist anyway then you really don't really have to waste any more time and/or energy avoiding being put on a watchlist anymore anywho, fuck the American government right in its big dumb genocidal fake-tanned face

have the Democrats sent a strongly worded letter asking the president yet asking to super-duper-extra-pretty please not annihilate another country, until later when it's more profitable and they've donned the appropriate regional ceremonial garb? pretty sure that should work

you don't need to do the "WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD MADE A GREAT POINT" routine every time a Bad "accidentally" says a Good This actually happens frequently, because everything is clicks and you click fucking ANYTHING. Hence, it works. Because you make it work. Maybe try... don't?

Always been slightly jealous that asexuals can go into their Task Manager and just free up a bunch of CPU and RAM

Happy international asexuality day!!! 🖤💜🤍

AMAZING FACT OF THE DAY: Democrats are just chuds that spend so much time and effort pretending not to be chuds that they accidentally don't have time to do quite as many crimes

me: "Gosh I sure would like the people I love and honestly just about everyone else to not be killed by my government. And I suppose it'd be pretty nice if I wasn't killed, too." My government: okay that's enough of that, you're clearly a domestic terrorist

oh please, as if I wasn't already born on a watchlist anyway, easiest checklist I've ever completed

Women are far too unpredictable and irrational to command our armed forces or to have access to a nuclear arsenal.

The limitations on violence established after World War II were not brought by pacifists or peaceniks but by literal old soldiers. They knew. They had seen.