It was surgically implanted into my very core which sucked but what REALLY sucked is that it still wasn't enough, any authority figure I encountered until I was a teenager kept implanting it over and over again anyway, fuck 'em for that. I'll feel no shame about seeking revenge in hell ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Best To Worst: *I'd gladly piss on him if he was on fire *I probably wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire *I'd piss near him if he was on fire *I'd gladly piss on him if he was on fire (but also if he wasn't) *I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire *I would piss in his eyes if he was on fire

it's great that people are mad that ICE are in airports! They don't need to be there. You know it. They know it. Everyone knows it you know who else doesn't need to be there, though? THE FUCKING TSA. Throw them out, too!

Show somebody who absolutely rocks a hat and isn’t Indiana Jones.

you don't have to get rid of your subscriptions because they are too expensive instead, you can get rid of your subscriptions because the money is probably going to rich fuckfaces who are trying to kill you

obv everything sucks and yet keeps getting somehow even worse, but this video made me so happy WARNING: toitles being adoiable

Delighted to hear that Chuck Norris has finally managed to overcome the most challenging opponent of his life: his life

you can just take the cameras down, too. It's not hard, but you do need a ladder or lift and basic tools. All rentable. And that's only if you want to remove it the CLEAN way - you could also do it the FUN way Tech is NEVER unstoppable. It is actually VERY stoppable!

The current administration is really living up to its promise of bringing back Spartan military ethos by talking loudly and losing more than winning.

EVERYONE probably has access to schools cameras and yes ICE is def. one of the largest and worst groups of bad actors, but... if you think you can "safely" put cameras all over the place whether or not ICE exists (and it will, because Republicans and Democrats suck shit), then you're already fucked

I have always taken it for granted but for some reason now one of my favorite things is when a movie or show has GREAT goons and punks like if there's some kind of twitchy hench with weird visor glasses, a vest, and 9 extra bandanas you know you're about to see some real legit street shit go down

Jesus fucking Christ, can we not do the "CHUDS DID GAS STICKER!!!!1!!!! NOW BLUE TEAM DO GAS STICKER!!!! OWN RED TEAM SO BAD, BIG CRY!!! HA HA HA" horseshit are we so creatively fucking bankrupt that the best we got is stealing dumb shit from Nazis? Did AI fuck y'all up that bad ALREADY Pathetic

my homemade cough syrup is double-spice chai with maple syrup, benedictine, and brandy because I am the fanciest goblin in this entire cave system

Citizens: can we not have school shootings US Government: actually, there IS something we can do Citizens: oh, thank g- Gov: we can use your taxes to shoot up the schools ourselves Citizens: no Gov: in another country Citizens: n- Gov: with missiles Citizens: NO, DON'T D- Gov: using AI

Attacks leave dead vs killed

don't worry, it's okay if you can't handle how totally fucking badass owl skulls are OWLS can barely even handle how badass their own skulls are, stop beating yourself up about it

This is the man who is now in charge of US Homeland Security.

Anyways.

I haven't had a dream I remember in ages the last one I remember is a recurring nightmare inspired by Chernobyl where I watch someone pick up a spicy rock and then die horribly "wait, who dies horribly there? you? or the spicy rock person?" yeah I know, that's why it's a nightmare

wowzers, these guys sure seem to like this Jesus guy! I wonder what Epstein parties they got down with him at

Not gonna lie, I do hold a fair amount of contempt for people who loudly advocate for my family to be slaughtered my bad, I'll try to be more understanding of their desire to murder people and things that I love, that should fix everything

I have been creative as FUCK lately but now you can't see or hear any of it because it's fucking mine and I'm not letting it get stolen by a robot in the service of the Epstein Class yes, I AM smug as fuck about that, glad you asked

did we bomb the Epstein files yet

DON'T YOU WANT ME BAAAAABY, DON'T YOU W-okay wow I wasn't expecting you to have an answer that quickly, I had a whole-ass entire song ready to go there, hahaha! Anyway, I'll see myself out, thanks

QOTD: "I’ve experienced more consequences for having two glasses of wine and Taco Bell on a weeknight than any powerful person has experienced for colluding with accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein."

If you think this sort of thing is by accident, please contact me immediately because I have a very urgent investment opportunity for you that is definitely real, totally legal, and GUARANTEED to make at least one of us richer

anyone considered the value of physical media in an age where the Internet is being overwritten by an infinite torrent of shit generated by corp-owned AIs in a concentrated effort to rewrite reality in a way that encourages the mass slaughter of everyone w/ low net worth or do you have GOOD days

Not much I can say that would improve anything, but I just want to make it absolutely clear: Trans rights are human rights and should be fought for tooth and nail. Evil governments worldwide are trying to use this vulnerable minority as a wedge issue to exert leverage and make the world worse.

This is torture.

Pretty awesome to have the opportunity for a winter visit to most of my favorite places in the NE corner of Lake Monroe (Indiana) some more beautiful than others, but as their official self-appointed, non-local, Druid™️, I am contractually obligated to love them all equally my wife made it, too!🥰

Thinking about the Nextflix Dirk Gently

Resurrect Ned Ludd and give him a battlemech that he can use optionally and under his own discretion and doesn't need, like, an iPhone or some shit to be able to unlock and is also equipped with just like a big hammer or something because plasma cannons would be difficult to explain to him

you will not only choose to spy on your neighbors, you'll pay for the privilege of doing so because you're a chump-ass sucker a mark a dope a useful idiot a clueless fuckface just casually going about your day making everyone else's days worse so that you can maintain the illusion of safety

"We should learn to speak in a language that rich people who don't dream can't comprehend." 💜 Make your beautiful weird, "bad" (not bad!), I'm-new-to-this, well-this-is-what-*I*-like, angry hopeful art!

telling people what weapons you have and where they are located is a great tactical move and many more dipshits should be doing it

I humbly implore you to please be discerning with your music/media selections and do your due diligence to ensure that you are consuming content created by and for actual humans your real efforts matter and help real people have better real lives

Our CEO was just asked what specifically they're doing to try to boost employee retention and the dude actually said, totally on purpose and without even a MOTE of self-awareness "we're looking at ways that AI can help BOOST retention"

get it right

Seeing a lot of people shocked about Matt Groening - that's good! You should be shocked, he's a fucking turd but that info has also been out there for ages. It's fine to only just find out, but it should also generate questions about WHY you didn't know and the mechanisms by which you're informed

wowsers a whole entire 53 percent you say Americans are dumb as fuck

Democrats Sick Of Being Blamed For Cowardice On Issues They Actually Just Don’t Care About https://theonion.com/democrats-sick-of-being-blamed-for-cowardice-on-issues-1847675639/

There is a lot of good and proper discourse about eating the rich However, did you know that you can also devour the FORMERLY rich, after you've seized their assets?

Our federal government really needs to stop shitting up Minnesota

hell yeah

out: businessmen in: none of your business, man