That's an oof with a capital yikes

Every time you make a "tranny" joke, every time you overlook the way we're treated, every time you get irritated when someone brings up pronouns, every time you hesitate and act weird about a trans person in a bathroom, you feed the culture that murdered Juniper Blessing.

This could be 6 cars instead.

Ahh, a real man of the people I see

It’s for slightly more interesting reasons than you’d guess (slightly) but definitely 2020

It might be too late to save this season, but either way I really think David Stearns should return the sinister-looking stone idol he took from an abandoned temple this past winter.

The 470 views is the point. This is the podcast equivalent of the $15 slices of gnarly-looking pizza at the mob front.

An MRI sounds like if Philip Glass had to compose the sound of an internet modem using only materials found in an airplane hangar

“Am I the most detestable fat cat you’ve ever seen? Yes. Would my head look better on a pike atop Gracie Mansion? Undoubtedly. Do I remember where I was going with this? I do not.”

The most Millennial song ever is a Pedro Martinez changeup on the low outside corner to a juiced up lefty-swinging slugger.

Once again seeing news reporting "Democrats lost a redistricting case" when what actually happened is that voters approved a measure that the courts struck down, so this isn't really Democrats lost, it's voters lost And that twisted framing is why Republicans keep getting away with shanking voters

Billionaires are oppressed. The poor are greedy. Whites are victims of racism. The police are victims of brutality. Medicine is unhealthy. Censorship is free speech. Corruption is innovation. This onslaught of malignant absurdism has broken everything. It has broken me.

It really is lovely that the world was told they MUST mourn this man and now his is already one of the most disrespected deaths of all time

My favorite part of the new @mta.info app is how it switches the list of bus stops to start with the one you’re closest to but its location accuracy isn’t that good so it rapidly veers between 2 or 3 different stops and you can’t read it at all

About Venus’ look www.threads.com/@shema.love/...

Blocking 5th Ave for what appears to be some kind of high-end garden party is just what a bunch of people riding the bus with jobs and responsibilities need in their lives.

In a normally functioning society we would be █████████ █████ ██████ in a town square.

“Don’t hallucinate” really is the tell on how dim-witted these guys actually are.

That Phillies run differential 😳

While the world’s eyes are on fashion’s biggest night, we’re turning ours to the garment, retail, and warehouse workers who keep the industry running. From true love found on the picket line to a free tailoring school out of a Brooklyn basement — meet the New Yorkers who make it all possible.

I just finished reading Parable of the Sower and I’ve quit my job to become a full time Octavia Butler booster. One of the best books I’ve ever read, every teen should be reading it right now (yes even the deeply horrific parts)

If the Democrats let Republicans have this INSANELY easy W, I am going to be apoplectic. This shit polls like chlamydia. Get on the other side of it now and be loud about it.

Oh yeah, uhh, that’s why I’ve eaten chunks of Parmesan since I was a kid. The bible thing, that’s it.

Got our first "I hope you aren't covering the Bezos Met Gala" message and I really wish people would understand that asking small independent publishers to fuck themselves over because of some billionaire just isn't the progressive flex you think it is.

I’m not a brand snob but the gap between Mister Softee quality and Other quality is absolutely massive

I may not be able to stop United HealthCare from ruining my life, but I do take the opportunity at every phone call to explain to the agent exactly what the company is doing to our family and I'm pretty sure I've convinced at least one to quit.

these mfs played to a blood pressure score

All I want for my birthday is an open-ended vacation for Carlos Mendoza

To everyone going to the single admission doubleheader today while I’m stuck at work

Since joining the Dodgers, Shohei Ohtani has a 182 OPS+ and a 205 ERA+. The pitching sample is still small, but these numbers are notable because they are also the career marks of... Barry Bonds and Mariano Rivera.

Is there some kind of coordinated MTA effort to encourage drivers to close the door in the face of someone running up to it? It was a fairly rare occurrence for years and now I see it constantly. Not in a malicious way, but like Boss Man has made it clear they can’t lose 10 seconds off their time

Oh so this is gonna be BAD bad

Tim Walz explains the perfect social media relationship: - person I’ve never met - calls himself ‘norm’ but I don’t know if that’s his real name - follow him because he’s usually talking about sports

Yonkers now shutting down half their streets to try to keep people from getting the hell out of Yonkers.

Oh lord I’ve seen what you do for others…

STOP PATRONIZING THE NEW YORK TIMES YES YOU YES EVEN THE WORD GAMES YES EVEN THE ATHLETIC WHOSE STAFF HAVE BEEN HELD BACK FROM UNIONIZING FOR A YEAR AND A HALF ZERO MORE DOLLARS FOR SULZBERGER AND HIS TEAM OF FASCIST ENABLERS AND EUGENICISTS

pollen count: personal

Tip for other newbies after my first mammogram - have several truly agonizing medical tests in the weeks prior and then the mammogram barely hurts at all

You too can ask the doctors office to mute the TV and be the change you want to see in the world

You’re laughing. Our obese stupid senile pedophile president is trying to barricade himself in his winter palace after sinking the nation into an empire shattering conflict he cannot win and you’re laughing.

Bureaucracy

Happy Drown Yourself in Perfume for the Bus Day

Vacuum while the baby vacuums! Promote your book while the baby promotes his book!

When the Mets score seven runs in one game.

If you've ever wondered why drivers in NYC blatantly violate the law repeatedly with seemingly no fear of consequence, this should help explain the situation.

tfw you win one (1) baseball game

Me right now.

The Mets are 36-54 since Mr. Met fell off the stage at the Lumineers concert last summer. That's a 65-win pace over a full season.