grizled settler scanning the brocapped mountains we cant homestead here this valley is chopped

I am once again asking you to follow me on @letterboxd.social I am: audponz

Got arrested for punching a mime and the judge sentenced me to six months of community theater

Hotmail gang rise up

My Oscar would be for my performance in I’m Good. How Are You?

Me, when I’m watching something filmed where I live and I recognize neighborhoods where I’ve bought drugs:

People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that

Awkward. Accidentaly said "you too" to a coworker who said "sorry for your loss", and now I have to kill one of their loved ones to save face.

you're watching a movie then you see a boom mic in the reflection of a car window and all of a sudden real life hits you like a wave. You have bills. You haven't replied to your mum. Where is your birth certificate? Will you die alone??

Looking left then right before whispering "at hotmail dot com" when giving my email to shop assistants

happy Chair Company and Welcome to Derry day for those who celebrate both

Me joking about my back injury online vs me suffering offline

cradling a 2.25l of diet coke like a new born baby

Teenaged me (I'm on the right)

Month 4 of back injury. Haven't walked properly since early July.

(like m'lady) M'turtle

queued for 2hrs then failed my WOF

Darren Trumeter's birthday. Of course he's a scorpio

things bullets say

*listens to Lana Del Rey one time*

It's like meeting the Ant-Man of your dreams, then meeting his beautiful Wasp

My cat has gone for a wander, I was calling out for him when I received a text message and for a brief moment I genuinely expected it to be him messaging me

met someone who told me that they don't like "female comedians" because all we do is talk about sex. and honestly, it made me SO horny and flexible

my friend in another city got a q-tip stuck inside his ear and I'm just supposed to go to work tomorrow like nothing happened? Okay

Posting art is so embarrassing. Like here's what's in my psyche i guess. Jesus christ

The pilot just got on the intercom and said "Death is just a door"

Painting my feelings

My girlfriend cut my brake lines she’s such a Scorpio

friends who grew up in a stable homes are always saying shit like "do you wanna watch a youtube compilation of Phil and Claire's funniest interview moments?"

a Johovah Witness mother is dragging her 12yo daughter around my neighbourhood, door-knocking on a Saturday morning :( she should be at the club.

It is fucked up what they did to the headphone jack

Are you guys on Letterboxd? I'm audponz

everyone is bisexual until they prove otherwise (plot hole: it's kind of impossible to prove otherwise)

i love halloween wydm youre the seven hotdogs from Weapons that was a tribute from Zach Cregger to Trevor Moore

It's cool that some celebrities are finally saying that killing innocent children is bad.

Main character energy? Local woman smiles politely at unfriendly medical receptionists

Strong winds in Chch tonight. To the friends who've told me they have trampolines: please secure them. And to the friends who have trampolines but have told me they don't because they don't want me coming over unannounced to do flips and hang out: I hope your belongings fly away. Liars.

Video chat with @nonseriousstuff.bsky.social. Just two normal, approachable, down to earth people.

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

This would fix me

Keith

just got my toes sucked for making fun of Charlie Kirk :(

I can't believe i used to do hard drugs with strangers and now I'm too scared to take necessary sedatives in a hospital. Sometimes therapy actually makes you less resilient

Update: I've had a back injury for 2 months and I can't sleep

I refuse all invitations to bachelorette parties because straws are bad for the environment and penises scare me.

Gen X are always posting feet on main for free

when I introduce two people and they end up sleeping with each other, I feel I'm entitled to some type of commission

I avoided getting a mustache finger tattoo in the 2010s, but somehow didn't avoid meth.

Gal Gadot should release another Imagine video.

Hello. You guys won't believe what happened this week