My age.

I just made up a song in my head called "Check Out My Sex Legs". Nothing prompted it. It just happened. The universe is channeling me.

Welcome to Xavier's School For Weirdo Youngsters ✖️

Customers: "We like this thing" XBox: "Here's why you're wrong about that" This would be the first time in a long time that "The customer is always right" would be used in the correct way

It's Day 1 of Andy Burnham being Prime Minister & Donald Trump is celebrating the destruction of our planet. Meanwhile Spain doubled it's renewables - before they had some of the highest bills in Europe and now some of the lowest bills. Labour need to stop appealing to Trump.

'They'll be kicking themselves. They've kicked everybody else'. 🤣

Graceful losers 🙏🏼

Hahahahaha, fuck you Argentina 🙌🇪🇸

I can say with my full chest that England would have at least had one.

If Argentina win on penalties, it will be absolutely not deserved in any way shape or form

Chris Martin singing everything is love while Trump continues to drop bombs on the middle east, removes human rights and send ICE out to shoot people in the street. #spaarg

Let's just pretend France v England was the final

Gabby: What was your highlight of the half time show? Wayne Rooney: When it finished. I thought it was crap. 10/10 punditry. No notes.

Rugby World Cup in Japan: everyone loves the gong they use instead of a whistle so much that we all want one Football World Cup in America: everyone hates this halftime shit except advertisers and psychopaths

Are there any players in the Argentina team that aren't a cunt?

God, this is so fucking tacky

I think a big part of the problem with Bryan's whole statement is that he's focusing on "growth" and "beating WWE" as the source of his critiques, and those are meaningless. Beyond wanting #AEW to continue producing shows etc. I don't care about growth or market share. I just want to enjoy it. 🤼‍♂️

on this day in 1995, scientists discovered bisexuality. happy 31st birthday to all my fellow bs

At Charing Cross yesterday there were a bunch of teenagers running down the platform. One has another teen in his arms as he runs. He tripped and the person in his arms almost slipped down the gap between the train and the platform.

A statement from WIRED leadership.

the two outfits for men

One of the worst things about the industry is how many people in power aren't great at their job & rather than improve, they bake it into the culture. Mandatory overtime isn't an inability to plan, it's just the culture. Constant pivoting because of a lack of direction, no, just startup culture etc

Overhearing a woman on the train: "...25 guys..." Me: "That's a lot of burgers"

System of a Down was great. The sound was a bit dodgy for the first couple of songs, just so much indistinct noise due to the stadium, but after that it was excellent.

Two of the people next to us on the train to Tottenham were complaining that "System of a Down are too political" and that they should "keep politics out of music". Cunts, both of them.

Hi this is Boo Buie, this is my father Boo Buie and my grandfather, you're not gonna believe this, Boo Buie.

next season: "the bachelor" featuring every grant

My anxiety levels are through the roof today

Why not ditch the tournament altogether and just play weeks of adverts, it's the only part he cares about. To be fair, he was bound to be evil given he looks like a circumcised penis.

One of my main childhood memories was the magic E song. That song is to blame for me singing "shit becomes shite with me" for no apparent reason. Now, because of @rosetintedspectrum.bsky.social, I've realised it's because it was played all of the fucking time.

Thank you! If you appreciate what I - and hundreds of thousands of others are doing - and want to replace Labour and stop Reform: Join.greenparty.org.uk

Had a migraine all weekend and slept like shit as a result today, plus it sounded like somebody was attacked at 4am at the station - or at least a couple of guys started fighting. Guess I'll be working from home today

When his song said “they don’t want none”, he was referring to workers’ freedom to negotiate fairly and freely in an open market.

This brought back memories youtu.be/-bv2btBfHHo

We should bring back saying “alright, keep your hair on” x

Oh look…men being men and expecting women to do all the free labour to get them laid…

Good morning!

Revenge = Comedy + Time

Lindsey Graham proved that Americans can just about pronounce Graham correctly, they choose not to.

Seems reasonable, how could Spurs ever win an Oscar.

Great to see how well the new report into rent controls has landed! It saves renters money and it saves Govenrment money. And some of that money should be used on building new social housing stock, too! Win/win all around! 🙌🏽

Going to see System of a Down on Wednesday, at the same time as the England game. This is going to be an interesting commute home 🫤

RIP to Seth Meyer's Lindsey Graham impression, and the impression only. You will be missed. What's that Meemaw?