My books have been stolen. I'm MAD AS HELL. creativeconfidenceclinic.substack.com/p/my-books-h...

"A billionaire has made his fortune by slowly, insidiously and irrevocably altering my relationship with myself and the people I love over the course of 20 years. Not content with doing that, he’s taken my life’s work and rendered it worthless." creativeconfidenceclinic.substack.com/p/my-books-h...

My books have been stolen. I'm MAD AS HELL. creativeconfidenceclinic.substack.com/p/my-books-h...

We’re delighted to open a *brand new* charity shop in #HerneBay, with support from award-winning journalist, author and mental health advocate @notrollergirl.bsky.social, to help support our vital work with young people. Visit a shop near you 👉 www.google.co.uk/maps/search/...

Meta has stolen 5 of my novels in three languages. It has stolen 19 - 19! - Of @joncg.bsky.social’s in several languages and 4 of @notrollergirl.bsky.social’s. That’s not even the tip of the iceberg. What about you? #bookthief #AI #meta

it turns out that putney bridge waterstones unexpectedly did us a solid. at half 5 we got an enormous delivery of seed corn - in the midst of unpacking the bags, twenty or thirty crows sauntered through the front door and began eyeing things up. but when they saw the scarecrows they hopped it pronto

Reading is a rich experience which is so completely part of my life. It connects us with knowledge, with feelings, with people, with the past, and with our own thoughts. Lovely article by @notrollergirl.bsky.social. I too am a big George Eliot fan! www.telegraph.co.uk/books/author...

No matter how long and hard the winter, summer always comes. As creatives, one of our jobs right now is to remind people of that. #thecreativelife #creatives #artists #photographers #writers #musicians #performers #designers #stylists #makers #creators #creativebusiness #freelancers

I keep getting marketing emails offering me clothes ‘For total ski glamour’ or ‘your next red carpet event!!!’ and I’m so entranced by the persona they have invented for me that I don’t have the heart to delete them.

If you took out the shots of people lighting fags, The Brutalist would be a crisp 50 mins.

Just finished Pity Party by @notrollergirl.bsky.social as recommended by @laurapricewrites.bsky.social in her Substack. The perfect final read of the year: I laughed out so loud I woke my Boo up twice and the reflections on grief resonated deeply. Highly recommend it 📚

I’m nearly 40 years old and I still CANNOT feel relaxed or normal about standing beside my parents and singing ‘round yon vir-hir-gin’.

Anyone else still tempted to have a nibble on some silica gel?

I really loved this - HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN!

“You will be visited by three spirits.” The three spirits:

“I feel inadequate, because I haven’t found the perfect Fair Isle jumper / put a duck in a turkey / proved the existence of Santa Claus in court.” creativeconfidenceclinic.substack.com/p/a-creative...

Brilliant, beautiful, properly spooky - I loved @charlieconnelly.bsky.social’s Christmas ghost story. substack.com/home/post/p-...

so rude that we named the fruit bat after the food it likes. imagine if a zoologist came up to you and said "wow what a fascinating example of the Doritos Cool Original Human"

Have there been any truly great recent innovations in the field of beige foods and picky bits? I love bao buns, I do not love bao buns that I have to microwave myself. I tried ‘sesame duck toast’ and to that I say ABSOLUTELY NOT. Could they do more with halloumi?

Posting this reminder now so you can prepare: If you start an episode of Golden Girls at 11:59:48 on New Year’s Eve, Dorothy will bite her fist exactly at midnight.

HOW is this Air Fryer guide the most nineteen seventies looking thing I’ve ever seen in my life?!

Funny Girl is on BBC2!

Give her what she really wants for Christmas: respect, bodily autonomy, the blood of her enemies and a hidden door that opens onto a secret library.

claustrophobia is so stupid. let Santa get married.

English, grew up in Malaysia. I played ping pong with a Chinese kid called Dennis. He didn't speak English and my Hokkien was bad. It dawned on me about 15 years later he was probably saying 'tennis'. Fucking mortified.

aha!

Ok but I'm scrolling. I see your ad while scrolling past, in a blur. You're going to need a name that scrolls better than this one is what I'm saying

Celebrating the Golden Age Of Television by watching a Channel 5 ‘documentary’ about air fryers.

I watched Hot Frosty. It was utterly preposterous and I loved every single second of it.

What’s that, Santa? Could it be? WHY YES! A You’re Booked Christmas special with Helen Lederer. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/y...

May I suggest that even if you're not a creator, but an appreciator of humans making things, rather than LLMs plagiarising and regurgitating content (or just a guy who doesn't want their fart jokes nicked), that it is in your interests to reply to this proposal too. It's just flat-out bad news.

Absolutely do not have the energy to deal with this Crown Prince Squash.

Set your videos (cannot stop thinking this despite not having had one for approx 25 years) for Boxing Day, The Jillies are back and quizzing with The Orwellians in Only Connect's books special! @sarabenwell.bsky.social @biondino.bsky.social www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

i just finished baby proofing the apartment [rattles locks] no way they're getting back in

Christmas shopping hysteria/the determination to bankrupt self in new middle-class ways comes as I find myself googling "dog toy book???" so that Sybil doesn't feel left out of Jolabokaflod.

If you're in the UK, here's a template letter you can copy - docs.google.com/document/d/1... - and you can find your local MP's details here - members.parliament.uk/members/Comm.... 2/10

Excuse me but could you call them hetronoculars my kids play in this park

Nobody would propose removing all the locks from everyone’s front doors as a way of stimulating an exciting new swashbuckling “disruptor” sector of the UK economy.

A few years ago, I went to Parliament to explain how “buy outs” and reduced residuals / royalties and digital deals were knackering the viability of creative careers. Nobody seemed to understand what on earth I was saying. The idea of property being “stuff you’d invented” seemed baffling to them.

I JUST COMPLETED THIS LONG AND HORRIBLE THING. Please submit to the feeling of being in a Kafka novel for half an hour, so we don’t all get trapped in a Kafka novel for the rest of our lives. (I completed a lot of these with ‘this is not a fair question to ask an individual’)

16 tickets left for Wanstead library gig tomorrow night www.ticketsource.co.uk/whats-on/spr...

Once in an episode of Neighbours I saw Jim Robinson walk up to the toaster, give it the 'finger guns' and the toast popped out. Over the last 30 years, each time I have toast I try to recreate that moment. I have succeeded twice in approximately 11,000 attempts.

I was born in December, so every year when buying an advent calendar I only buy one if it has my birthday number in a good spot, if it's in a corner I won't get it, has to be somewhere important and/or central.

HASTINGS: I say, Poirot, this vial’s labeled “hyaluronic acid”! Is it a poison? SKINCARE HERCULE POIROT: Non, mon ami. This acid, it replenishes the skin’s barrier naturale HASTINGS: So this is a gal who takes care of her skin. SKINCARE HERCULE POIROT: *irritated* The gentleman may use it as well

Funny Face is on BBC Two so I am educating Sybil by lying to her that this was exactly what working at Glamour was like

I finished CAN YOU FORGIVE HER by Anthony Trollope today. WHAT A RIDE!!!! Funny bits! Guns! Sex! A male Victorian author writing women really well! LOVERS TO ENEMIES! Two thumbs way up, fine holiday fun.

He’s making a lynx It’s bitten him twice Carole Baskin says He’s not very nice Joe Exotic’s coming to town

assuming 10 plants per row, and 4.5kg of beans per plant, this works out as 40.5kg of beans and a modest amount of honey, and this has got to keep yeats going for an entire year