It's 2025 and the entire tech industry thinks you want to add line spaces when you reply to an email.

Articles about "best Fringe one-liners" or "best cracker jokes" really suffer from a Colin Hunt-style "hey shut up everyone and listen, I have a brilliant joke, you're all going to piss yourselves, here it comes, hang on to your trousers!!!1!" vibe

Hello boys.

Also worth noting, the Tribunal found that Sandie Peggie had harassed Dr Beth Upton in a "hate incident".

ENORMOUS Dick van Dyke energy here www.instagram.com/reel/DRz9EOV...

Farage shouldn't apologise. Farage should step down in shamed ignominy, retire from public life, and only occasionally appear in the press when some well-meaning citizen covers his car in manure etc.

This. "Keeping the Dream Alive" is astonishing! Please can we make sure every playlist has it added, every radio show has it requested, please normalise KTDA as THE song for the discerning Xmasphile

Now I’ve got a new boiler … I’ve got to pay for it… I’ve worked out that I need to sell: 23 cat sofas or 80 foot stools or 199 lap mats You know what to do.. craftysharp.etsy.com

A movie (and a TV episode) that takes place where you're from

Having one of those days where I can't quite believe people let me be a grown-up 😬

This article is so sneering and belittling, and it says a vast amount about its snivelling author and nothing about making real efforts to fix real problems. Gross, @theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Can't believe you're all out there celebrating international men when it's far more sustainable and ethical to celebrate local, homegrown, seasonal men

In today's "post from the 1820s", can anyone recommend a London seamstress (or seamster, this is the early 19th century after all, equal opportunities) who can patch jeans where my chubby thighs have rubbed holes in them?

Finally some good news

Charts? I can answer this in one word.

I hate to pick on Liverpool but:

It's kind of ridiculous. I'm 51 years old yet I still have my lunch with a side of sliced cucumber, as a grudging nod to vitamins etc, like I did when I was a child

A reminder that this anti-trans panic is 100% bullshit and exactly none of our country’s problems are related to someone expressing their gender identity and everyone who isn’t a hate-filled weirdo knows it.

Sometimes good things do happen. This prick is even more vicious and poisonous than the reports suggest. Good riddance and fuck off.

A group of ghosts, including a caveman, haunt a noble house. In the basement, packed closely together, are many nameless spooks. Yes, got it in one - that's from Terry Pratchett's novel Wyrd Sisters.

One of these things is not like the others

No-one: Me: "Pintsize" is an odd concept. I mean a pint is quite small, on a human scale, but on a drinks scale it's actually pretty big! I mean I know you can get steins and stuff, but really it should suggest "quite big for its kind" instead of weeny

The only time age is augmented by a fraction is when children are very young or pets are very old

I've realised one reason I can't stand Banksy et al - when art is a joke (even a good one), every time you see it it's like the artists is simply repeating the joke over and over, so even if it started off as clever and funny, it quickly feels desperate and annoying.

Today's unsought advice: if you love an author's work, and they've written a memoir, don't wait till they die to read it.

The moment any article or conversation about anything tangentially related to fashion tells me what I *should* be wearing is the moment I decide I loathe the person writing or saying it.

Being a music snob is so unfulfilling, and I was one for years. I love half a dozen of these songs and would happily trill away to twice as many. What a strange opinion.

SURELY we don't need to keep using the word probably in situations like this?

This is what it's all about. www.instagram.com/p/DQScJMpDA2v/

New comfy top just dropped

Obviously farfalle because they don't hold sauce and the middle bit is always undercooked (fusilli also suck)

@wopadons.bsky.social any interest to you? Or even to Darren!

AFC Wimbledon fans - this is a bit niche, but does anyone want a rather dusty framed picture of Darren Dobinson? #AFCWimbledon

Just tried this, and despite question 20 being "does your character wear a bikini" it correctly identified Benjamin Netanyahu 😯

Oh my god I'd been wondering for years but THIS is the hip hop sound!! www.instagram.com/reel/DOrCNCz...

Not saying I'm getting prematurely into the Halloween spirit, but I just accidentally spelled the surname "Wood" with four O's

“Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you’ll never watch again, and one song you can’t stand” Eggs, The Talented Mr Ripley, Song Two. Only eggs get a pass because it's not their fault they're shit-smellingly disgusting.

Here's the crossword I made for Jilly Cooper's birthday earlier this year 💔 www.mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2285

I got the world's most grudging acknowledgement in @mhairim.bsky.social's second novel!

I don't want *a* cup of tea; I want *the* cup of tea, the cuppa that manifests arbitrarily every 50 or so cups that somehow tastes of all the wonderful things you think about when you think "tea"

I hope I shuffle off after the kind of life Jilly Cooper had, and I hope my pals on the internet talk about me like they're talking about Jilly (this is not going to happen). Still, at least I've always got this:

Love watching my child playing sports

These are SO GOOD, people.

I have yet to encounter anyone who uses the word “leftist” that isn’t an absolute dog-fucker

If the Rapture takes all the people who think they're going to be Raptured, the world will be fucking great afterwards.

Timeless, rolling English countryside. Wagner. The missionary position.

Have I got bigger, or have conkers got smaller?

Let's face it, if he was still alive, Hitler would be quoting J K Rowling.

This is what Robert Redford thinks of Nazis

This is what Robert Redford thinks of Nazis