Because I am Mandy.

I’m going to start a new series called: “Replies to My BFF When He Is A Fool Late At Night” not to be confused with “Replies to My BFF When He Is A Fool Any Other Time of Day.” That one is only available on my Patreon. @fartsjohnson.bsky.social

Charlie Daniels aka Herald of Hell aka Keeper of Souls aka Huevos RanCharos aka Charnerys Targaryen aka Charzard 2009-2026 Rest easy, my tiny hell hound.

Besties @fartsjohnson.bsky.social @jamesleech.bsky.social

Behold, I have answered the question: "I finished Dungeon Crawler Carl and want to check out more LitRPG/Progression Fantasy. What should I read next?" #booksky 🪐📚💙📚👀 #sff

I would totally go back to school for this

Thank you, @mattdinniman.bsky.social for creating a world and characters so easy to fall in love with. Dungeon Crawler Carl has easily become my new favorite book series ever. I cannot wait to join Carl, Donut, Mongo, Sir Rend, Jeff Hays and Sound Booth Theater for the next book.

I love when my snacks hurt a little too

Someone just GAVE me this haunted house. It is taller than my backseat.

just got my Christmas card from my IRL BFF @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social!! She drew Trogdor for me!!

I’ve know @jamesleech.bsky.social for almost 7 years and this is truly the best thing he’s ever done. And that includes two separate times he made videos for my son’s birthday.

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

Look. I’m trying.

meanwhile in the Group Chat, my IRL BFF @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social DEVASTATED me with a Forehead Burn. lollll @jamesleech.bsky.social @afterglow2046.bsky.social

Got ‘em @fartsjohnson.bsky.social @jamesleech.bsky.social

This one time, my mother dressed me as John Wayne Gacy for Halloween.

I was on the phone with my IRL BFF, @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social, last night and told her "I talk a LOT less than I did as a teen these days," and she said "You talk...... Less.. now?" rightfully shocked

“And everyone in Balencia gowns with red corsages, and big dance palaces full of music and lights and racial impurity and gender confusion. And all the deities are creole, mulatto, brown as the mouths of rivers. Race, taste and history finally overcome. And you ain't there.” - Angels in America

I don't think they're capable of grasping the fact that we don't care, we don't protect bad people, that's their thing.

Dear Fucking Worm Brain: THERE IS NO AUTISM EPIDEMIC. "The main reason we are finding more autism is simple: Clinicians are getting better at spotting what was always there."

Every single time I get a fundraising email/text from a Democrat I respond asking if they're going to stand up for trans & immigrant rights. Only ONE candidate has ever responded - and he didn't give a clear answer. Ask them every time, friends. They need to understand their careers depend on it.

I'm teaching a ten week course at the Irish Writers' Centre dedicated to helping writers figure out how to turn their good idea into a finished script, you can sign up here - starts March 11: irishwriterscentre.ie/courses/grow...

Scout heard Benji freaking out about the lamb smell and had to investigate

Shel Silverstein keeps watch over my living room…or at least that one chair.

If it looks like I know what I'm doing on social media, it's thanks to @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social If it looks like I don't, it's my own fault 🙃 But I can cook! www.doesitvegan.com #vegan #veganrecipes #vegancooking #plantbased #plantbasedrecipes #plantbasedcooking

“You obstruct. You deny. You be annoying.”

Not my 9 year old being annoyed that I laid out all of his clothes for the day but forgot his socks 😑

elon mork is not counter culture

Unless it’s an approval for the spinal MRI you denied for my husband or an approval for my steroid eye drops that cost $700 a month…it’s not gonna be any different.

6 year ago today, I rode a carousel with my IRL BFF @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social's baby boy, Declan.

Reminder: My IRL BFF @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social created my amazing profile pic.

I was walking Charlie (the dog) back to my car after his beauty shop appointment and told him he smelled good. The guy walking by me absolutely thought I was saying that to him. In a baby voice. “You sure smell good ☺️🤗”

The microwave demands sacrifice

Just saw an instagram video about how young Palestinians have figured out how to turn the detonators from Israeli bombs into power supplies to power their phones & stay in touch with the outside world. That to me is poetry.

The four years of Covid

LIZ DECLAN ME AND RALPH. @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social

When you and your plant are both kind of sad, you do light therapy together.

My amazing profile picture is by my BFF, @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social, who truly captured The Farts Johnson Essence with this piece of art

Vote.

look what my BFF, @dizzylizzymcguire.bsky.social, got for me!!

My child and I are both very consistent when it comes to picking the color of our shoes.

We are still trying to reset my kid’s sleep schedule before school starts on Tuesday. I didn’t sleep great last night, so I’m tired af today. So right now my kid and I agreed to tickle the other if they fall asleep. I am losing.

My birthday is the 27th of this month. If you want to do something for your ol' pal, Farts Johnson, please donate to an animal shelter. Pups are the main thing I love these days, and I'm kind of fond of cats too. But if u wanna donate to lizards, or snakes, or birds, or whatever, that'd be cool too.

Doing art things with my kid