nobody: absolutely nobody: me: it’s the creature from the black legume

MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes

Youth pastor (after sitting down on a chair turned backwards): I know you kids like these modern pop songs by Sabrina but you know who else was a Carpenter?

It's true I was the friend he killed

Ozdoby jsme vyřešili ✔️ Salát taky✔️ Teďka to hlavní: Když žehlíte balící papír - s párou nebo na sucho? Nižší nebo vyšší teplota? Jak žehlily papír vaše babičky? Přidáváte do vody kapku vanilky nebo rybí omáčky, aby papír voněl vánocemi? Podělte se o své tradiční postupy.

If you want some good news this morning, I showed my three boys the PM doing the six/seven thing and now they have all stopped doing it.

Exclusive: After speaking with Orthanc's Saruman, Trump called the Steward of Gondor and advised not to provoke Mordor over Ithilien.

Dnes slavíme Den díkůvzdání, my v Evropě teda hlavně kvůli tomu, že od amerických manažerů bude až do pondělka pokoj 😇

Prezident Pavel stále otálí s jmenováním Babišovy vlády. Po výhradách ke střetu zájmů či Filipu Turkovi přidal další podmínku: Miroslav Ševčík se musí nechat ostříhat. az247.cz/pavel-odmita...

Opět skvělý Jan Urban. Jan Urban: Vznik nové vlády provází propagandistické šidítko a otrocká mentalita hlidacipes.org/jan-urban-ev...

Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.

In Warsaw, a tent used for spreading Russian propaganda was dismantled, and its organizer was taken to a psychiatric facility. The tent had been set up by Andrzej Zakrzewski, leader of the nationalist movement Sovereignty of the Polish People, in August of last year.

“It was a russian plan all along…”

Popes: John (23) Paul (6) John Paul (2) George (0) Ringo (0) George Ringo (0)

Tak snad brzo i u nás. Povšimněte si jak všechny psychopatické asociální mocichtivé kurvy jako Babiš, Okamura, Trump, Orbán, Mussolini či který další Stalin ze Sheenu utočí na každého novináře, který není submisivní a neopakuje jejich lži.

A PSA for all y'all. Singular: pieróg Two or more: pierogi Thank you for your attention to this matter.

STRANGER: Thanks for asking — I'm pre-AI. SURVIVALIST: are you sure STRANGER: 🚀 I'm 100% sure! SURVIVALIST: *brandishes weapon*

Baňka je vypouklý, vydutý předmět. Koule je trojrozměrné těleso, tvořené všemi body, které leží nejvýše v dané vzdálenosti od středu. Je to baňka? Ano. Je to koule? Ano. Válka skončila. Řešíte jestli je to jablko, nebo ovoce. Odpověď je ano.

Me: Grok, do a massive epic vulgar roast! Grok: You're a daft cunt who can't think of a clever insult without a data center spoon-feeding you every thought, you’d struggle to outsmart a fucking broken toaster without me holding your dumbass hand. Me: Hahaha, yes, like that, but do the other guy!

"Yo, I got you that Xbox."

The Girl with the Groupon Tattoo

replace the Supreme Court with the remaining members of the Wu-Tang Clan

watch out he's redpilled!

Normies furt ještě řeší havajskou čokoládu, zatímco my už dávno jedeme na dunajské čokoládě.

Já zůstávám u každoroční klasiky.

ever since i was a little boy i always knew i wanted to be 38 years old writing short sentences on a website

There are eight hobbits in a hobbyte

Yes, that's exactly what I meant when I wrote "unfortunatelly" with two Ls. "Fortunaspillenes". Go 'ed and add it to dictionary lad. We might need it later once we figure out what the fuck it means. Glad computers are smart now.

Happy Thursday the 20th to all who celebrate.

"I think you'll find that it's International Men's Day"

What a busy meet week for the prez Mon: FIFA leaders and McDonald’s Summit Tue: The guy who paid for Jamal Khashoggi's murder and possibly 9/11 Wed: The Russian Orthodox Church Thu: Leaders of ISIS (am) and Boko Haram (pm) Fri: The Nazgûl and the leaders of the Uruk-hai Sat: The ghost of Pol Pot

The word twice. So good they named it twice.

#3157 A helpful tutorial

How much do you think god makes an hour

how many feet would a wood chipper chip if a wood chipper could chip feet

You’re at wood I need you at chipper

Doprava v Praze zkolabovala už i pod zemí. Poté, co Dopravní podnik vyzval obyvatele, aby kvůli ucpaným silnicím raději jeli metrem, stovky řidičů výzvu nepochopily a vjely do metra přímo se svými auty. Během pár minut tak zablokovaly většinu tunelů. az247.cz/metro-stoji-...

trying my hand at epstien email writing

lol Trump finished this rant this morning the same way Sideshow Bob finished his rant after he admitted to committing electoral fraud

He can call it a hoax all he wants. The Epstein files are sticking to Trump like a bad rash that he will never get rid of. This is brilliant 🏆

nazis and pedophiIes (redundant) are enemies of humanity and saying the world would be better off if they were no longer aIive is fine actually

They banned patton oswalt for correctly stating what pedophile collaborators deserve? Wow