I thought it looked familiar

go to the church and ask god to forgive you

I’ve lived here for years and only today noticed this /r/mildlyinfuriating post waiting to happen

[7am, hungover, gonna be late for work, staring in the mirror at the saddest looking piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life] da greatest to ever do it baby

throwback to August 2021, when Lori Beth Denberg (of Nickelodeon's All That, Goodburger, and countless other glorious things) wore my Punch a Nazi shirt during The Sound of Music at the Hollywood Bowl photo courtesy of @abbycohenwl.bsky.social (who rules for everything else alone I HAVE SPOKEN)

[chuck schumer voice] if we give him the penises he wants, maybe he’ll come to the table to pass sensible bipartisan reforms

did wishbone have hoes?

wishbone could play hannah montana but miley cyrus couldn’t play sherlock holmes

are we sure wemby isn’t just one of those things from A Quiet Place

Hey guys

comrades I have fantastik news

what a terrible day to have eyes

someone draw the green lines on this

ron paul rolling in his grave, not dead, just kind of wound up in there

dick from a guy who got his dick caught in the ceiling fan due to unclear instructions

doing ikea furniture assembly on hard mode (crossfaded)

what even goes on here

Charlie Kirk, or as I like to call him, Kab-looie C.K.

remember comrade. there is no “me” in diabeetus

retired restaurant owner at the country club who calls everyone “big dog”

Grants Pass, Oregon has always held inexplicably hostile energy to me

Slightly increase a band. Dinosaur Senior

Grants Pass, Oregon has always held inexplicably hostile energy to me

at some point the world is going to turn black and white again. we only got color in the late 1940’s and it was never meant to last

sir, I- [coughs up a giant red chunk of biomass onto the floor]

wark wark wark wark. do with that as you will

and those kids on xbox voicechat think they’re original

I’m sorry I can’t be her

One of my proudest moments as an early Information Era idiot was (~2013) when I added halfcat — primordial Google Maps sensation — to the big Pokémon Wikipedia Pokédex page with reference urls and shit and it lasted for like 3 days 😤 hahaha 🫵 My friends, shortly thereafter, named their band halfcat

FOUNDING FATHERS [in unison]: there’s *how* many pokemon now

FOUNDING FATHERS [in unison]: there’s *how* many pokemon now

[nickelback voice] look at this fuckin cat

what are you wearing

fuck

what are you wearing

mamaaa, just grilled a ham

ꆤ‿ꆤ

forgot I tweeted this… whoopsie

throwback to 2012 when bad luck brian gave a reddit AMA only for the mods to remove it. simpler times

millennial winnie the pooh be like “hell yeah, bother”

who up blastin they ween

the cat has resting dreamworks face