running for president on the platform of worldwide abolishment of the internet

men, when you use the toilet you are reducing your body's overall alpha. hold that shit in

me and the homies on the same flight headed to the video game convention

Every time somebody posts “zohran derangement syndrome” my brain autocompletes “had a very shiny nose.”

2011 was thirty five years ago

joyce carol oates do you like alternative rock

joyce carol oates do you like alternative rock

sometimes I miss when characters in shows/movies would do internal monologue with their voice slightly echoed. You only ever see it on Disney channel shit anymore

uncritical support for JCO in her battle against home depot skeletons like elon musk

what da

I’m Jonathan Chait, welcome to Jackass [twangy guitar riff]

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken] CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter

texas paul is a big streamer on Hubo. you can see all his videos on Scunch. he just did a Flingo collab with Güch1488

I would do anything for Ross, But i won't Douthat (I'll see myself out)

I’m so sorry

i'm taking it full circle as god intended

thinking about all of elon musk’s companies and realizing his vision for the future is literally just ripping off total recall

thinking about all of elon musk’s companies and realizing his vision for the future is literally just ripping off total recall

ok this is just unfair

seeing literally anybody posting about Rama Duwaji

it's a slow news day in hell's ass

everybody get a load of this guy!!

she domo my roboto til i arigato

when you turn 39 they should put you in a special home away from civil society

[ice T voice]: they got kids in the street cutting up lettuce and wrapping it up with cold cuts and provolone on a hoagie. they callin it a "grinder."

homemade chickpea soup brother

2015 was forty years ago

it rules how many people think the New York mayoral election results are a direct pipeline to sharia law and gulags

just saw a long series of skeets on my timeline where comments were disabled and I started thinking about my sins and what I could have done to deserve this

i've messaged as many of my friends in NY as I could and no one can find a single copy anymore. they sold out so instantly that they're already popping up on ebay for over a hundred bucks

There's a very real possibility the incoming NYC mayor has seen your nudes

what an extremely normal thing to post

andrew cuomo's good luck truck, which was sentient, has been euthanized :(

bro

bartender just rang the dinner bell to announce that zohran won and dick cheney’s in hell lol

They are adding Zohran Mamdani to Fortnite

conservatives threatening to "escape from new york" are correct in identifying with that movie in that they ought to be hunted down for sport

sing it with me

I see trees of green, red roses too,

i'm gonna call your employer about how you're making fun of dick cheney's death online and tell him to give you a raise and suck you off

who's got the vid of them hearing about dick cheney and visibly giving zero fucks

dick cheney? the guy from halliburton? the guy who opposed george w bush on same sex marriage?

4D chess

mfw I’m pooping my pants but trying to play it cool

mfw they’re putting a “communist” in the mayorship

You heard me

ladies and gentlemen. I present to you, A Fucking Take ™️

pouring a considerably large one out for bill kezos rn