doc shartman
@docshartman.bsky.social
📤 2402
📥 1324
📝 10215
im three deers beep
pinned post!
[7am, hungover, gonna be late for work, staring in the mirror at the saddest looking piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life] da greatest to ever do it baby
about 2 months ago
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doc shartman
ah. dammit
add a skeleton here at some point
about 20 hours ago
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mitch mcconnell has died
28 minutes ago
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I audibly gasped
add a skeleton here at some point
about 5 hours ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
🐧🐧 Anne Marie 🐧🐧
about 5 hours ago
🎶 That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough I thought that I heard you laughing I thought that I heard you sing I think I thought I saw a puddytat 🎶
loading . . .
Tweety Bird in Cage: I Thought I Saw A Puddy Tat
ALT: Tweety Bird in Cage: I Thought I Saw A Puddy Tat
https://static.klipy.com/ii/8ce8357c78ea940b9c2015daf05ce1a5/3a/05/YsNZAXBj.gif?hh=373&ww=498&mp4=2qr0teJwsliHYD&webm=ny16FzppZsZPdkXp
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People on twitter will really be like "you think ppl should subscribe to ken’s newsletter? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, drinking poison" and then not drink poison
add a skeleton here at some point
about 7 hours ago
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doc shartman
J. Offir, PhD
about 20 hours ago
4/ "remain indoors as much as possible during and after the show." (In other words, "We are offering you some pretty poison, but don't blame - or sue - us if you get sick, because we did warn you that it's poisonous.") 🔹️The area is close to low-income, minority neighborhoods where there are higher
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well i would say the shoe from roger rabbit but
add a skeleton here at some point
about 20 hours ago
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ah. dammit
add a skeleton here at some point
about 20 hours ago
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they got deep blue sea on at the bar and i'm just waiting for michael rapaport to get bitten in half
about 20 hours ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
about 20 hours ago
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oh shit it's july? whaddup
about 21 hours ago
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staring in the mirror, shirtless, slowly chanting “mitch mcconnell” over and over
about 21 hours ago
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[actively being pelted in the head with rocks] neat! I see no downsides to this
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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I like a man who maintains eye contact while he’s making sausage
2 days ago
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looking for ~2400 of my closest friends (nothing happened im just saying hi)
2 days ago
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this is the room where the “teeth, TEETH” tweet was filmed
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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me, not even watching the World Cup, just watching people reactions on bluesky
3 days ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
Subscribe to Radio Free America (link in bio)
3 days ago
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rugged individualist that I am, I have no need for a dumb person’s idea of a smart person, for I am my own dumb person’s idea of a smart person
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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if you crop one side of the wells fargo logo it says WELL FARG and I just wanted you to know that
3 days ago
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aight we back up
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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[snorts a 2ft long line of cocaine] god i fucking love NAPS and NAPPING
3 days ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
I bet getting jump started feels fucking bananas
3 months ago
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if i say it ill get name searched
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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i think this fair is the material result of all those science expeditions into the Backrooms. they brought back what they found and putting them on display like trophies
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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doc shartman
Louis
4 days ago
What do you call Le Petit Caporal Obvious? An Of Corsican!
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getting reports that whenever a trans woman experiences joy, the left side of glinner’s face melts by another millimeter
5 days ago
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they’re talking of course about Monopoly: Star Wars Heroes vs. Villains
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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fucking finally
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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remember believing that better things were possible? i remember
5 days ago
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doc shartman
orinoco bro
5 days ago
Forgot to shave my balls and i was offside by a nut hair
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how soon til the daily wire picks up uwe boll to produce all their short form video content
5 days ago
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just heard the news that john hinckley is coming around on socialism 👍
6 days ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
This is the ideal make body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
6 days ago
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I’m five deers beep
6 days ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
anyone else posting right now
6 days ago
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anyone else posting right now
6 days ago
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if I had a dog with a face like that I would literally never leave my house (except to take it on walks. obviously)
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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apropos of nothing, if I have to smile for pictures for more than like 5 minutes, I can feel my smiling muscles wear out and I start twitching and shit. How the fuck does mayor Mamdani keep that up through the day
6 days ago
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she’s a 10 but she’s 113 years old
6 days ago
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inventing a new meal time called “blunch” which is a portmanteau of breakfast and lunch
6 days ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
they should invent a shock collar that activates when you open the doordash app
7 days ago
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[zooms in on the picture] that's too many stars man
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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since I was a young boy I have dreamt of a career that involves fumbling about in cobweb-covered crawl spaces and/or sewers
6 days ago
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lmfaooo
6 days ago
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reposted by
doc shartman
Screamer Jim
6 days ago
Oh so you like Zohran Mamdani. What if I cried about him for 18 months and was generally unpleasant to be around, listen to, etc? Yeah that’s what I thought
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doc shartman
Dandy G🍌
6 days ago
Poomodoodoo technique. Ancient ass clench gongfu
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doc shartman
Mike Migdall
7 days ago
yub nub delilah what's it like in ewok city
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they should invent a shock collar that activates when you open the doordash app
7 days ago
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