twitter user finally trying bluesky after hearing it was boring

who else is ready to get fired from their job for celebrating when it finally happens

who else is ready to get fired from their job for celebrating when it finally happens

if your jaw doesnt hurt the next day, you could have fit more toes

and Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, went on to win numerous Game of the Year awards with a small development team and a savant composer they found on soundcloud

the ball-kicking robot makes some valid points

it’s $1000! I am irrationally angry about this. Positively incandescent

what kind of psycho buys the lego millennium falcon at an airport

cool, cool cool

when you’re mean to me on the internet this is who you’re being mean to

whole family is roasting me bc I didn’t know travis kelce’s last name isn’t a silent E

just switched the living room tv over to this from football, taking bets on how long it lasts

actively looking for an investor to pay whatever it costs to have this fully subtitled

im doc shartman

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, transformed and rolled out

real ones remember

stephen miller is like if dennis reynolds wasn't funny

the three genders

listen up liberal my wife is making hamburger helper and you and your family are invited for dinner

wish noem would get her evil fuckin face off the damn airport security monitors

*slaps roof of smartphone* this baby can fit so many pictures of my cat in it

[dean norris freshly arrived in heaven] sex gifs

lmao

Usha Vance do you like alternative rock

we love dunking on karen but no one ever calls out the yolandas

the fair is a veritable borgin schmorg

who up rn borgin they schmorg

this is the kind of pettiness a mf lives for

this is the kind of pettiness a mf lives for

derriere weiss is this anything

we need an emoji for the cut-across-the-neck motion that tells people to stop what they’re doing

baby, I compare you to the piss from a hose on the ground ooh, the more I get of you the stronger my immune system

get in losers we’re going cancelling

congrats to charlie kirk on 50 days without saying anything racist

people over there will tweet anything. “the dems sure are going to regret releasing the files when they see their precious bill clinton in them” No they aren’t. That isn’t true.

prosciutto wrapped, honey glazed jalapeño poppers from a pizza oven brother

all day im fucking gardening only get few bunny

cowboy who stubbed his toe:

sex gifs

mfw my butthole is the film’s mcguffin

yeah sex is cool but have you ever snapped a photo of your cat in the middle of a yawn and they look like a dark souls boss

The Depawted [2006]

all day im fucking gardening only get few bunny

[boston accent] oh? mister tough guy, over here policin’ peoples words? like there’s some fuckin law says I can’t refer to my cat as my child? how about you go fuck yourself eh pal?