lean cuisine. eat that slop all the time. my favorite is the meatloaf, the grossest one.

had a dream last night that my friends and I were all getting really into a trend called “creeping”, which is when you break into your neighbor’s house to see what they have in their fridge

i served a guy a round of shots on Valentine’s Day and he randomly started crying and now whenever i come into work another random regular is like “i heard you make a guy cry with your evil countenance”

i served a guy a round of shots on Valentine’s Day and he randomly started crying and now whenever i come into work another random regular is like “i heard you make a guy cry with your evil countenance”

MY AAA GIRLFRIEND: C’mere baby. I want you. *time stops* *VFX outline shimmers around her yellow underwear* ME, THINKING: I think she wants something, but what? *2 seconds later* ME, THINKING: Her underwear seems important. *2 seconds later* ME, THINKING: I bet I can interact with her underwear.

saw this on instagram and forgot for a minute that The Bone Temple was the name of a movie

"Professor White Boy " has perished. They found him self harmed at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Thanks for the fucking smiles, Professor

Beast mode

being my coworker is probably so magical

been watching Dragonball Z Kai for the first time (i saw the original in my youth) and it’s crazy how much better all the non-combatant characters feel whe. they are only used intentionally and not for filler. They did Bulma so dirty in original Z by making her a time waster character

being your bf's bully is one of the top perks of being a gf

guy in my bar is getting super mad because his girlfriend is ragebaiting him by saying Justin Bieber, not him, is white boy of the year

Large fan of "old video game character with a name that was innocent at the time, made into a problem now"

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

my opinion on the Bad Bunny halftime show, and non-English music in general, is that i think a need to “be able to understand the lyrics” displays an embarrassing shallowness of the speaker to appreciate the voice as an instrument & to appreciate music as something other than a lyric delivery system

Bot👇

honestly respect for the ad that’s just like “pokemon are cool.” they are cool

the amount of AI ads is feeling deeply dystopian

so far tonight bad bunny has sung more reggaeton songs than the patriots and seahawks combined

i hope a bunch of old crackers are taking their last breaths to this halftime show

WOKE 2 IS HERE

i’m as much a hater as anyone, but this really goes unimpeachably hard

if Kid Rock plays We Are Charlie Kirk i’ll put him on every tv in the bar

human

Grippy socks grippy box

these people hate us lol straight up do not like us

certified rum barrel moment. My personal mai tai recipe- 3 rum blend, dry curaçao, demarara orgeat, lime juice.

at the foot fetishist home goods store

we got vampire survivors at the bar

getting in a real “flee the country” kind of mood

All the anti-war and anti-occupation protestors were right. All the far leftists were right. All the “woke scolds” and your friend who’s “too woke” were right. They were somehow even more right than they may have realized at the time. But really, it was always obvious they were right.

my expensive ass Electrovoice microphone is calling to me like the green goblin mask

I’m so so glad you enjoyed it- it was a labor of love, and I’m really proud of what was made.

Blue Hawaiian i made. I don’t usually do blue drinks, but sometimes you need a visual crowdpleaser. Denizen Merchant’s Reserve, Giffard blue curaçao, cream of coconut, pineapple, lime for a better balance.

girl with extremely thick philly accent at my bar is talking about how her boyfriend is making her watch “Free Ron” (Frieren) and keeps saying “she’s like a little elfy jawn, she’s cute!”

@skullmandible.bsky.social how about you stop doing chores with the bores and come airbend with the girlfriend

drinking the evil beverage tonight lads

is there a version of this for women

imo a big reason for this, which i haven't seen talked about, is that people are being squeezed so hard that they just do not have time to do anything creative. so they latch on to whatever thing they're the biggest fan of and have some sort of artistic analog to a parasocial relationship with it

What’s Hot Classic rules. 1/3 topical posts, 1/3 dick pics, 1/3 furry porn. the perfect feed

i love my retired parents very much they are beautiful angels but i wish i could make them understand that being a bartender who always works until close means that basically my entire AM is off limits to make plans

wearing my big titty halloween dress in January bc who cares man the moon is gonna fall soon

the should make cell phone games that are games and not slot machine skinner boxes

in all seriousness people are aggro’ing over increasingly stupid and bad things because they feel useless in the current moment which, to be serious, means you should log off and do more things instead of just screaming at someone

no one should have to go to work on a day the Eagles didn’t win. it should be a national day of mourning

i refuse to exist in a world where i have any opinions at all about animal crossing mods

boyfriend got me a tiki mug from the Bamboo Room in Savannah, near their home town. here it is filled with a hurricane, a New Orleans classic made from black rum (Hamilton 86), lemon juice and fassinola syrup.

they should invent a woman who tips properly after ordering a lemon drop

“He was a dictator” fat nazis in plate carriers abduct your neighbors from the parking lot of target and send them to gulags.