you've spoken glibly to a best selling author. prepare to die.

often the best replies are the ones we don't send

you would love it if i had a hot dog right now. you'd be so thrilled if i had two hot dogs. but what you would be horrified to know is that they have just ketchup on them, and i like it that way. im having a fourth hot dog

diet soda happy hour diet soda happy hour

if the libs were rabid homophobes they would be posting non-stop about Scott Bessent, the out gay married man in the cabinet. calling Trump queeny and Lindsey Graham a closet case is not the same.

it’s very easy to explain: you can’t read and it makes it difficult to understand the copy of highlights in the dentist’s lobby, much less the economy.

if it’s the same guy who pretends to be random crime experts with the monster voice and his face blacked out, it’s an amazing bit

will stancil talks about the economy like a guy who thinks the best album for every band is “the best of”

the mandalorian, but for the fellas

the block list in a land of contrasts. you can be blocked by “thepers1stence🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦” and “toddlerprincess.femboy” within a span of hours

Politicians Hate This Woman For Her One Simple Trick (one successful tax payer subsidized trans surgery)

damn I didn’t know they had @emkultra64.com ‘s in the 30’s

Friday used to be known as the Sunday of the Weekdays, until Sunday started getting a bad wrap

the indies (minor league baseball)

the dream is to have a bf no one approves of

it’s not lost on me how much more juice on the website i have with the implants and flat-ironed hair in the avatar

[guy who is the only person in your mentions for the past hour] everyone is dragging you

forza horizon should give me extra points if I complete races after a few small beers

ohhhhhh that person is an NYT columnist, no wonder they want my throat lmao

a coffee is a perfect morning, afternoon, and evening treat

you keep locking replies under your posts and quote tweeting me. I’m going to detach my posts from them. have fun freaking out over consistently suggested treatment that you have a caveman’s reaction to.

okay but have you tried the glp-1 everyone is suggesting to you though

You can respond in my replies rather than quoting me with immediate hostility. you can in fact take a moment and understand I am making a facetious ask. however this reaction tells me you probably have high blood pressure at least

if the people taking your blood are telling you about GLP-1’s, you should be required to post your glucose levels before you talk about them being evil.

I hope Alex Robins is not only not mentioned, but sued by the Betty Boop estate for suggesting Betty Boop would have sex with him. disgraceful notion that Betty boop is merely an empty object for men’s desires.

the New York Times is going to just start doing doing vague post headlines to get engagement before the end of the year

destiny 2 was the game I played the most with my dad. I got him so addicted to it he made his own found family of younger players who invited him to a clan that we did almost all raids together with.

terry cloth ozzy will provide new fans with same warmth and care as their real ozzy never could

did you know she voted for the “out trans kids to their transphobic parents” bill

getting the kind of follows that make you put away the rent lowering pistol and sucking in your gut on the TL

subway takes is just a parade of people from families with slaves saying “gentrification is sooooo terrible”

So, You Learned To Code: A Step-by-Step Guide On How To Team Lift and Sweep In The Post STEM World

what if, and just stay with me here, I know this might be crazy to say: they all suck

ooooo ya girl fits in a size eleven show now lets fucking goooo

i have to let go of conflicts. i am in a society of other people and i must be reasonable. i must maintain a balance of my needs and recognize the best way to compromise with others. im going to become the punisher if i am spoken to by a stranger one more time.

yeah thanks for having me on the podcast. as the perfect guest, i'm going to quietly listen to you talk to each other while i laugh out loud from time to and time or say, "that's so true," under my breath a few times

stan tucci? the home pizza chef?

forza horizon 6 main menu has antidepressant ad vibes

its still extremely funny to present your pedophilia discords as treatment groups. alcoholics anonymous isn't a bunch of drunks talking about how much they love beer and posting pictures they drew of beer.

one thing i do love about columbus circle being my work place is get to a see a lot of 50 year old white guys hawk fat loogies and snot rockets on the trump international plaza sign and do a little fist pump or nod when they hit the letters when im going home

weed guys: please stop packaging nugs in bags that are exactly the same material as my cat’s treats. do you know how excited my large son gets when I pack a bowl. he gets too excited and when I don’t have treats he bullies me.

telling kids today there’s a new Star Wars is like if your dad gave you a Playboy completely sealed shut with his entire life’s worth of cum.

you may be banned from Bluesky, but you can still go to shake shack and get a concrete. you can even buy a beer .

like my favorite past time, drinking and driving, part of the allure of men is the danger.

I am not “shoving you into a locker” over loli. I’m “reporting your location to the authorities”

The plan: build the ball room. Get the president in the ballroom. then we pour concrete around it like Chernobyl.

you ever notice there’s not really a big posting fad about “white trans men”

I know it doesn’t actually occur in the song, but I can only remember the Paul McCartney Destiny song as a very long note saying “destinyyyyyyy”