i have a little bit of a plan for dealing with The Situation this week i just hope it works out

i really only have one gnarly dark bruise left along with the sutures, and its so annoying now that i ran out of the post surgery oxys.

if you're a frazzled person after work, don't forget about your ol' friend the potato. wash one off, put it in the oven, forget about it for an hour, and with some greek yogurt you got a fun protein packe-- oh god i never turned off the oven. oh god oh no

mr fancy/mr yelly

lmao is that a rubicon? dude check this out

the silver lining about this autism announcement? they didn't say anything about cigarettes.

respect to the disney adults sticking with the boycott, but please be careful: do not go to six flags if you're jonesing for a theme park without being prepared, they let Bugs Bunny hit anyone who hugs too long and ride operators know which slur hurts you most if you're too big to ride

they're gonna skin bob iger with one perfect yank and bob chapek's gonna slurp up the hide like one big noodle for this at the next shareholder's meeting

i'm not mad that we're seeing benny johnson clips on mainstream media more because i know a narrative arc when i see one and it's been a little too long since we've had a high profile gay republican get outed in a hilariously public way

need another surgery just so i can be pampered by nurses again

videogames need a lot more body positivity and representation of more than just what we expect. that said, if you make me play as a mid chubby man, i will kill myself

hey ya'll, ever seen a bunch of money burn up to a crisp? well you're gonna

i don't know why we can't flat out say that people like Ezra Klein are being paid to sabotage the democrats and have been for as long as I've been alive. he may not be entirely cynical, but someone is giving him money to say shit that makes voters stay home.

I am single and ready to be happy with my freedom and finally being able to breathe [will be in a committed relationship built on a foundation of red flags within a month]

are there guys that like big boobs

which one is voiced by Matt Berry and which one is voiced by Tim Robinson

ALERT: Manhattan is seeing major traffic disruptions because a single man is walking around midtown with a bluetooth speaker playing Dragula really loudly and everyone's stopping to say "hell yeah" and "play it again brother"

five year old isla: this princess and the pea story... just doesn't add up. how could a mere pea cause so many issues with that much padding thirty-seven year old isla, seeing a nipple print through an extremely padded bra: ohhhh

yeah I have a hat for every occasion

creating a new way of making men insane by teaching young women to start arbitrarily saying common power tool brands are a red flag.

yeah I have a hat for every occasion

in their defense they see this

they definitely slipped me the straight gene in surgery because i saw a fit guy housing a slice of pizza right out of the to-go box while walking down the sidewalk and i saw an entire life with him flash before my eyes.

extremely hard to see live megachurch shenanigans and not expect judy gemstone to storm the stage right before some sort of production disaster happens

one thing i find interesting is that while both types of trans genders have top surgery, its much more intense for one that the other. my amazing t-masc post surgery doula who checks in with me is appropriately more scared for my recovery than me because he can't picture how small my incisions are

Couldn’t make a crueler caricature if I tried

#OtD 18 Sep 1990 Canadian soldiers and police tried to invade the Kahnawake reservation. Kanyen'kehà:ka (Mohawk) First Nations people who were resisting construction of a golf course fought back, and forced them to retreat after seven hours of fighting stories.workingclasshistory.com/article/1259...

turning off my brain to avoid random encounters until i'm in a safer place by keeping up with the latest zach efron physique updates

one thing to keep in mind regardless of how you feel how McBride should act: the killing of Charlie Kirk has already directly ruined the life of one trans woman and that blowback should not be easily forgotten even when we’re funning around with posts

i've heard of capitulating before you've put your demands on the table, but this guy's walking into a circumcision appointment and telling the doctor he already cut his dick off

its really fun to assume he's dumb enough to think this, but this is 100% something he's been scripted to say on the podcast rounds because he is making money advertising AI. granted i do also think it would be funny if mcconaughey's ultimate dream is to ask the computer to generate "nude tane"

i got real bad news about what postal inspectors are doing right now

if we keep up the occasional calls for political violence and posting hole going we won't have to worry about payment processors calling the shots on here because they'll never come.

if anyone can suggest what dv support I should contact as a trans woman in nyc it would help

anyways I need to find a job and a new place away from my abusive, insane ex so that I don’t risk getting punched in the face repeatedly before I have surgery again

boobs are big enough now that men aren't knowledge checking me when i say i like a band. in fact, if i wear a top small enough i can just make up anything. the guy who goes everywhere with an acoustic guitar just nodding when i say james brown was an original member of pavement.

falling off a second story balcony onto john fetterman and a big bone-in ham on a dinner plate pops out of him as his body crumples like a honda civic's bumper

yeah, i'm a dyke. big lesbian. now if you'll excuse me i have to go to a big ladies only orgy [pulls a single book off the bookshelf. the bookshelf swings, revealing a fireman's pole that descends to a series of sequentially locking vault doors that open reveal a shrine to Hasan Piker's freckles]

how much caution tape is jimmy kimmel gonna wrap himself in for his first post suspension photo shoot

meeting another woman who's had a breast aug and exchanging implant cards like a salary man's business card ceremony

hell yeah, humidity makes em shiny. I love my stupid life

diet pepi

in their defense they see this

the interest from burrito delivery financing money is paying for satanic rituals

constantly being given weird looks because i keep making references to The Crying Game in daily conversation because i assume people only know it as a movie where a guy gets kidnapped by the IRA and not the other thing.

all the looks maxing idiots are gonna start filling down their veneers to have itty bitty charlie kirk teeth when the fbi forces People to name him as the sexiest man of all time

definitely noticing a difference in public now. its not that you see men staring more, but you do see them look away absurdly fast if you look their way

huge comic book news today, they just announced the latest MCU character to join the avengers

entering the "humina-humina awooga" stage of life