Putting your balls in one of these

can't wait til i'm 55 and my penis makes a loud glowstick cracking noise every time i start jacking off

This goofy motherfucker is the only one who knows what's going on in Bloodborne and he's having a good time at it. The best character in the game and 2nd place isn't even close.

Trump comes back on stage, his face slightly asymmetrical and much shorter than remembered. He introduces himself as Bonald Bump. Everyone is concerned until he says he's going to "asplode the big bad boat full of big bad boys, very naughty boys" and they all cheer because they know it's really him.

Guy named Poop Forgery

me when i learn the currency in vietnam is called "dongs"

ITS RAT DAY #art #oc #pokemon #pmd #rattata

Been enjoying re9 a lot

calling obama at 3 a.m. prank gone wrong summoning amabo dark twisted evil obama NSFW

Pikachu don't do that. It's insensitive.

bought a preroll just so I can use my ashtray maze ashtray

SCREAMING THIS FROM THE FUCKING ROOFTOPS

Hey everyone here's my "the characters represent the 7 deadly sins" theory and yes I am giving the one female character Lust

True believers will call you hysterical and a doomsayer if you say this is bad

"I'd like some dried strawberries, rehydrated in a bowl of milk" - the breakfast idiot

I had to make some quality slander today

This Pokémon can be found racing through fields, charring blades of grass with its dorsal flames. The upward drafts caused by the blazes are ridden by wild Hoppip and Skiploom.

Guy named Hoof Arted

As a small child my father and I were driving when we saw three tornadoes at once off in the distance of a blackened sky, all swirling with the ferocity of God's angry fingers. We obviously turned around and went home but they destroyed half a town.

I got a perfect way to advertise your new mobile game. Show real footage of a guy playing the game. No "Can you help King Gem solve Denny's kids menu maze" shit. He's having a good time. Call comes from someone listed as "Dying Relative" that he answers, shouting "FUCK YOU IM PLAYING [name of game]"

Pikachu don't do that. It's insensitive.

Guy named Think Bigg

Who up choking they bart

How many people do you think walked out of the theater during the opening of Mrs. Doubfire because they thought they were playing the wrong movie

Did you kiss your homeboys yet today Why not

I always think of this when Naruto comes up

Mobile game ads are just this but for intellectually stunted adults

I just remembered the reason I didnt like taekwondo as a kid was because I saw another kid's "belt demonstration" board break before being hit and afterward I realized it was all just a series of going through the motions until you get another belt as opposed to actually being trained in anything.

#starfox thought i'd try something new! heard about this cool old franchise from sega thats in the new mario movie? never played it before but i thought I'd just go buy what I saw on the internet! anyways hope its accurate and you guyz enjoy! oh and uhh happy april day or something?? roflmao

Farted so hard i woke up the dog. I dont even have a dog.

Lmfao someone trying to log in to my telegram again

Guy named The April Fool

I don't have an April fool planned since my current job doesn't give me time to maintain a day-long gag unfortunately. No baby yoda nut for you

bluechecks spawn fully-formed with 1500 followers and a west wing watchalong podcast like uruk-hai

This is my trans agenda

Anyone wanna help me test my new game is.gd/0b0FAQ?DO_NO...

If your baby is teething just give them some refreshing Nicorette gum. The nicotine numbs and soothes baby's sore gums and gives their newly emerging teeth something soft and safe to chew!

10,000 years ago, two early men are watching another early man beat a cool rhythm on a skin drum. They both decide to dance at the same time and make the same move. Drummer stops. "Shit you danced the same dance at the same time that's cool as hell" And thus, synchronized dancing was invented.

Zachs are just palette swaps of Tylers.

Gagobear was out of Baja Blast so I tried to climb through the drive-thru window and check myself. I kept saying "I just wanna check" If the girl with the phone uploads the video the guy who sounds just like me shouting swears is just someone in the lobby having an episode. I just wanted to look.

Learning who I follow is in a time zone at least 12 hours ahead by seeing which boner-lovers out there make a big post about how they don't love boners anymore

You know the jrpg final boss theme gonna slap when it's a two-phase fight and the track is called something like "Sacrifice the World's Blood/Earth's Apotheosis"

Happy Trans Day of Visibility!! Clients have been REALLY slow at my main job for a while and I don't have it in me to take more commissions at the moment, if you want to throw a few bucks my way - whether once or monthly - it'd be much appreciated!! ko-fi.com/renkindle www.patreon.com/c/Renkindle

"Teace Peach" is something you'd see on a protest sign being held by a background homunculus in an AI-generated crowd shot