I’ve had three glasses of wine at my parents’ house time to respond to everyone’s Instagram story

In 2023 I became obsessed with videos of dads in cargo shortswaiting in parking lots during Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. So when she came to town, I grabbed a camera and headed down to talk to them. I thought it'd be funny. It turned out to be something else entirely.

when people say to "listen to your body" i dont think they understand my body is telling me to eat a plate of mini quiches for lunch 24/7

I will NEVER vote for a politician who votes for anti-trans legislation. Never. I don't care who it is, it's a dead issue. Move on. If my vote is so important to the future of democracy they should have thought of that before they voted to exterminate my child.

lettuce, tomato, lettuce, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, cheese, lettuce.

7News Australia reports that the hero who jumped and disarmed one of the terrorist shooters His name is Ahmed el-Ahmed A 43 year old married father of two He owns a fruit shop in Sutherland No experience with guns He was walking past He has two bullets in his arm

duh!!

who up in they boyfriend’s room watching videos of ingrown toenail removals while they watch the eagles game downstairs

yes, but I also want to stress that it is NOT normal for a man to tell you that he secretly got leg lengthening surgery and that’s why he’s incapable of fully loving himself or opening himself up to others

i have listened to the megyn kelly interview in which she downplays the statutory rape of teenagers and it is my opinion that she should be tried by a jury of her peers and sentenced to death by the state, which should be carried out in a humane manner

these epstein emails are pretty damning. i sure hope that we haven't spent the last couple years in a cultural backslide where men are seemingly allowed to openly and gleefully fantasize about dominating young women without any threat of reproach

sick in bed this weekend which means i’m about to spend an ungodly amount of money at the tiktok shop

Once in like 1999 I went into a Gristedes to buy some cereal and milk and when I opened the milk fridge a fucking bat flew out, hit me in the face, and flew up to the ceiling (its home, clearly) and when I told the woman at the front she was like yeah, he gets trapped in there sometimes

someone just retweeted this and I would like to say for the record I do NOT condone the person I was when I tweeted this ten months ago

As someone who doesn't watch sports but does love human suffering, I'm having a great night

I want to go home to my dog

HELLO SIDNEY. DO U CONDEMN THE ACTIONS OF HAMAS

I have an amazing idea for a halloween costume

I’m never deleting facebook, part 1376:

Repeat after me: you can win elections without sacrificing people.

hmmmm…….…. okay

A who's who of "who?"

it’s the ugly stepsister but no one is brave enough to admit it

since when? yesterday? come on

just swept the reality tv category of jeopardy

running with a theory that dinner party episodes of tv shows are always the best

work today DRAINED me. just want to go home and finish watching Mothering My Husband’s Bastard (Final Version)

horrified they weren’t quick enough to keep her from spreading this kind of vile hate speech on TV. for those who don’t know, “go birds” is a coded expression of support for the Philadelphia Eagles

I made this lamb ragu over couscous a few nights ago and I’m still reeling over how good it was

George Floyd was a father too and Charlie Kirk called him a “scumbag.”

this is actually INSANE

continuing his work

Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) on the shooting of Charlie Kirk: "Political violence, unfortunately, has ramped up in this country ... I think there are people who are fomenting it in this country. I think the president's rhetoric often foments it."

The MSNBC commentator saying that most political violence has historically come from the left just once again showed how we suffer from failing to learn history. Lynching, pogroms, race riots, the political violence that ended Reconstruction, and against the Civil Rights Movement. Come on.

boy i'll say

retweet if you believe only a TRUE veteran should go to war with Chicago!

Michelle Obama: kids should have healthier school lunches RFK Jr: maybe if we let the plague run wild we can build a master race Media: wow these are the same thing

Haha, happy ten years!

happy ten years @howiemandel.bsky.social

on the train with pumpkin. she gets really concerned every time the train makes a stop and people get off

i’m going back to twitter

me, getting bribed: where the fuck are the chips

This is exactly--and I mean exactly--how Holocaust deniers have long discredited the Final Solution being a concerted effort & high-level order. "The Jews in the camps all died of typhoid outbreaks"

Think about how many people wake up every day and say to themselves “time to write a long Reddit post that is an obvious lie” and then they do it

happy to report I am now officially a film influencer

I can’t believe and just like that ended with a toilet literally overflowing with poop