Ramirez: He’s literally siccing the troops on a microscopic organism. He is sending the National Guard to the Reflecting Pool to arrest people who touch the water. It’s absurd. And also, he’s killing the baby ducklings.

Ossoff: Because in our time, what those who build ballrooms and monuments to themselves, who rake in billions through foreign princes while the people's savings vanish, along with their hospitals, what they hate the most is when the people try to hold them accountable at the polls.

Difficult after hearing he voted for Trump to feel sorry for the Lebanese American contractor who’s family house in Lebanon was destroyed by Israel I mean, whose side did you think he was on?

It is time once again to discuss the Most Dad Things we have done in the past year. A couple of reminders: - gender is a social construct, anyone can do Dad Things - you need not be a parent to do a Dad Thing - the definition of a Dad Thing is entirely subjective and maybe made up I’ll go first:

Nobody is vandalizing the Reflecting Pool, and Trump knows it. This is a visible example of his corruption--a no-bid contract to some crony followed by sky-high cost overruns, and shoddy construction to boot. Classic Trump: I didn't fuck up, it was my enemies.

Sorry, I stopped listening, but did corporate media report on the “Iran deal” as though it were real?

AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM: All of the countries playing in the World Cup have universal healthcare EXCEPT for the US. We have other priorities, like pointless wars, golden ballrooms, terrorizing our people on the streets, concentration camps, and ruining reflecting pools by painting over marble.

We *don't* arrest men who sexually abused children with Jeffrey Epstein because Donald Trump is guilty and scared. But we *do* arrest men who simply place their hand in the Reflecting Pool because Donald Trump is angry and embarrassed.

Can’t believe a Strait is demanding so much attention during Pride Month. Typical.

Just a reminder, if you deface the Reflecting Pool you will be arrested…. Oops wrong picture

Well, who you gonna believe? The Olympian or the people who literally lie about everything?

Happy Father's Day 🖤

Stefon: “It’s the hottest place in DC right now. It has everything. Water like curdled pea soup. Bigger paint chips than a 1960s tenement. An angry orange man yelling, ‘Find the vandals!’ Fish and birds floating upside-down from hydrogen peroxide poisoning. And the smell of a mossy urinal.”

She was whipped by men whose religion, which was created by other men, doesn't think men have the self-control not to be tempted to assault her if they simply see her hair. Seems that the wrong people are being whipped.

Oh, honey. . . I think we *all* know who vandalized the Reflecting Pool. We saw you circling around in the Beast to approve of what they were doing. And then we saw the next vandals on TV making the prior vandalization worse by pouring in big bottles of hydrogen peroxide. They too were sent by you.

The United States doesn't even need *one* data center to tell it that data centers are a bad thing.

That time "God, I can *still* smell him" was said in several languages.

“You can breathe in outer space if you ignore the need for oxygen.”

The great @jonathanpienews.bsky.social here encapsulates Trump's (and America's) humiliation by Iran like nobody else can.

On Juneteenth, a black man scores for the U.S. in the World Cup. Oh, and his name is Freeman. Happy Juneteenth! www.nfl.com/news/alex-fr...

Just a reminder that the US Woman’s team has won the World Cup four times already.

The green slime and peeling paint in the reflective pool isn’t about the pool: it’s a larger metaphor of trumps presidency, he bragged about it, then it failed. youtu.be/1zqdEsApemA?...

Rebecca: "Chaps, Alexi left us" Zlatan: "Who? Rebecca: "Alexi will be back, Alexi will be back with us very soon" Thierry: "Your plan worked, Rebecca" Rebecca: "Don't you bring me into this, no chance" Zlatan: "America, you're welcome" lmaooooooooooooooooo

So much for MERIT based decision making. Honestly Pete needs tribunales, busted back down to Private, and dishonorably discharged after all this is said and done. And that’s before a lifetime in Leavenworth.

Someday soon everyone’s going to pretend they never supported him.

"Yes, he was there for the fight not the politics. But that’s like saying you went to Jeffrey Epstein’s house to play Scrabble." excellent piece from @michaelianblack.bsky.social

Listening to Barack Obama and Donald Trump give speeches this week was like hearing a Broadway star recite the Gettysburg Address and a colicky toddler bungle the words to “The Wheels On The Bus Go ‘Round and Around.”

JD Vance has to do all this bc Marco Rubio's still in the basement sewing a large "Mission Accomplished" banner.

If you watch the Obama Library, the World Cup, and the Knicks parade this afternoon -- and nothing else -- you can actually see the America we're supposed to be at age 250

When you’re *still* the least popular person at a party . . .

[taps microphone] [takes a deep breath]

>renames it to the Department of War >names himself the Secretary of War >fights one war >loses

The world's stupidest pedophile is the president of the USA. The world's dorkiest sociopath is the planet's first trillionaire. There is something seriously wrong with humanity.

Political cartoonists are better than mainstream media

"The former editor of the Harvard Law Review is a stupid son of bitch." —A crass imbecile who had to pay someone else to take the SAT for him

Yes, the Epstein files *totally* exonerate Donald Trump, which is why he told Pam Bondi to do everything not to release them. JD Vance never tells the truth. Trump did not turn Epstein into the police. Just like he did NOT have a falling out with Epstein over molestations--it was over money.

Happy pride month

Trump has spent the last 15 years, and will spend the rest of his life, trying to overcome the humiliation that Obama inflicted upon him at that White House Correspondents Dinner

When you're the least popular person at a party . . .

Trump: "Qatar is the closest to Iran, physically. With other countries, I noticed they had to travel about 45 minutes to get there. With you, you could walk right across the border." There's no land border between Iran and Qatar. They're separated by the Persian Gulf.

So did JD Vance find his way back to the Catholic Church by going in the Situation Room and learning how to cover up for child molesters?

I can’t think of a better way to say it than this 🤷‍♂️

WRITERS' ROOM CIRCA 1960 WRITER 1: "Give me a scene to show how tacky POTUS is." WRITER 2: "OK, we cover the White House lawn with an enormous beer-branded amusement park structure for men to wrestle and insult a First Lady in?" WRITER 3: "Jesus, that's so over-the-top. No one would believe it."

Frenchman Meets with an Actual Surrender Monkey.

Bob Odenkirk is a national treasure. Take 44 seconds and watch. www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0rB...

The man is such a megalomaniac they did a segment where they showed everyone's wrong takes but he required them to thank him on live Tv "for allowing them to air his" before they played his bad takes, it's like watching one of those small town car dealerships but on sports TV

Joe Rogan looks like if Shrek had to dress as a human to attend a custody hearing.

Elect a clown, expect a circus. The truth of this proverb was on painful display this weekend in Washington, D.C., courtesy of a deeply unwell man who spits on our history, glorifies violence and sows hatred. www.americaamerica.news/p/disgrace-a...

Hey Jim Jordan and Freedom Caucus just checking in to see if the same idea applies? You wanted to see the side car agreement from Obama and opposed the money he gave Iran. How is that today?

He’s a year away from being Steven Cheung