Trump's skin is thinner than a paper straw halfway through a McDonald's milkshake.

This should never, under any circumstances, ever, be considered ‘normal’.

Terror in America. Jonathanpie.com youtu.be/oU7LOpQFOPQ?...

Tickets: jonathanpie.com

It's not even the Tory-lite Party any more, is it? It's just The Tories - with special guest star, Nigel Farage.

There has to be somewhere between: 'let absolutely anyone/everyone into your country', and: 'execute people in the streets'. Reform appear to be in favour of the latter.

At this time I would like to make it known that I do not give one single flying, or indeed walking, fuck about the 'Beckham family drama'. Thank you.

Aw, don’t be mean. Just let him have it.

Well played, Channel 4.

I'm sure everything will be fine and nothing untoward will come of this.

This isn't satire. No jokes. This is the President of the United States telling Norway that he's going to take Greenland from Denmark because Norway didn't give him a peace prize. This isn't Orange Man Bad. This is Orange Man Mad.

Remember, the MPs defecting to Reform UK know exactly who Nigel Farage is, and what he stands for.

Zia Yusuf takes issue with the legislation one of Reform UK's most vocal members helped to bring to fruition.

UKIP's proposed new logo. Fucking HELL.

Imagine how they make ME feel.

Spot on from start to finish. 👏

Trump Vs The World. www.youtube.com/watch?v=296-...

Trump Vs The World. www.youtube.com/watch?v=296-...

"Instead of doing the job I'm paid to do by the taxpayers, I'll be earning myself some extra dosh by skiving off to do a radio show."

Here's to accidentally putting '2025' on everything for the first 3 weeks of 2026. The End of the World - According to Jonathan Pie. Book tickets at JonathanPie.com

I must say, 2026 is off to a great start.

Tickets available from jonathanpie.com.

He says this with Zelenskyy standing a few feet away. The fact Zelenskyy didn't walk over and slap him in the face should automatically put him in the running for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Here’s to a merry Christmas, if that’s a thing. Tickets at: jonathanpie.com

Just another day on X.

I don't think I've ever known of anyone as emotionally insecure as Donald Trump.

Here’s to a merry Christmas, if that’s a thing. Tickets at: jonathanpie.com

“What is this? A ballroom for ants?”

No, I think you'd just be thought of as an idiot.

Resharing this today for obvious reasons. youtu.be/iCMnJ4KicW8?...

Resharing this today for obvious reasons. youtu.be/iCMnJ4KicW8?...

From my 2024 Heroes & Villains Tour. Buy tickets for my 2026 Live Tour at JonathanPie.com

I'm looking forward to Disney Pixar's 'more accessible' animated remake of Schindler’s List, voiced by Jack Black and Seth MacFarlane. Can't wait.

From The Fake News Tour 2019. Buy tickets for my 2026 Live Tour - The End of the World According to Jonathan Pie - from JonathanPie.com.

He really thinks he’s ‘it’.

Come on, which one of us hasn't marched through our town centre singing Hitler Youth songs? We've all done it. Youthful hijinks.

Farage’s Schoolboy Antics. youtu.be/5OaXTd7__Ys?...

Budget Breakdown. Get tickets for my 2026 Live Tour at: JonathanPie.com.

Budget Breakdown… youtu.be/rUCw66ApMko?...

Trump reminds me of my nan when she'd say: "What? I wasn't asleep, I was just resting my eyes!" Only my nan wasn't a megalomaniac adjudicated sex pest.

Things I have been called in the past few days: ‘Labour shagging lefty prick’ ‘Right wing misogynistic c*nt’ ‘centrist pissflap’ Good to see I cover all the bases. Buy tickets to my new live tour @ jonathanpie.com

Excited to announce A NEW LIVE TOUR! The End of The World According to Jonathan Pie Tickets ON SALE NOW from JonathanPie.com

Four big comic names have just been announced for next year, and on sale this week! Coming to The Hexagon: @garydelaney.bsky.social on 11 June @jonathanpienews.bsky.social on 30 Sept Coming to @southstreetarts.bsky.social: Tim Key on 14 May Olga Koch on 20 Nov 1/2

Excited to announce A NEW LIVE TOUR! The End of The World According to Jonathan Pie Tickets ON SALE NOW from JonathanPie.com

Farage maintains he has only ever been racist in a respectful way.

One might say Farage is not a good judge of character? Or even worse, maybe he is?

Grok thinks Elon Musk would win in a fight against Mike Tyson.

Brilliant. I felt like standing up and clapping this.