Come for the confirmation that Mack is a real guy, stay for Jeb's semi-assed sourdough recipe.

We welcome the years of lead by watching my son torment a loved one; Dave wears the wrong mayoral beret; Thomas Chatterton Williams' tortured writing is nothing on Jeb's erotic dream blog; we go INTO the Guyterion Closet to talk Jordan Peterson and Ashtray Farage—and Roux Tech presents: DLNO DSHLDS.

We welcome the years of lead by watching my son torment a loved one; Dave wears the wrong mayoral beret; Thomas Chatterton Williams' tortured writing is nothing on Jeb's erotic dream blog; we go INTO the Guyterion Closet to talk Jordan Peterson and Ashtray Farage—and Roux Tech presents: DLNO DSHLDS.

In this story I unpack some complicated feelings on the Buffalo Bills Hallmark movie, and Hallmark movies in general. Also yes that's Joe Pantoliano. He's in the Bills Hallmark movie. defector.com/the-hallmark...

Cable is dying, and Hallmark remains primarily linear play. Other cable channels aren’t their competition, fact that people just don’t watch payTV is. They’re an indie, not part of larger conglomerate, and they miscalculated with relaunch of their streamer last year. Smaller expected, but half is 😬

Would be curious to hear from any of our Hallmark insiders why this is happening, but a good placeholder guess is that Hallmark had already glutted their own market and GAC/Netflix/Amazon/Ion making similar material only worsened the ROI on making more movies than linear time allows you to broadcast

RIP Robert Redford, the Mad Dog had your back

I don't know what it says about me that I understood this before I even listened to the episode.

Tech CEO and kitchen oaf Rachael Leigh Cook gets Hallmark-wasted, Leans Out, and, with the help of Bobby Bacala's calzone triptych, learns that McKinseying her little sister's love life only puts her in the path of wine clowns. Apple: bit.ly/3K1ybqQ Amazon: bit.ly/3K4oV5d Spotify: bit.ly/41StkhI

The new Hallmark podcast ep on a film that features the return of Rachael Leigh Cook, the Hallmark debuts of Stephen Schirripa and Jacky Hoffman, and a stirring cameo from the campus of Siena University. Hitting all the quadrants.

Tech CEO and kitchen oaf Rachael Leigh Cook gets Hallmark-wasted, Leans Out, and, with the help of Bobby Bacala's calzone triptych, learns that McKinseying her little sister's love life only puts her in the path of wine clowns. Apple: bit.ly/3K1ybqQ Amazon: bit.ly/3K4oV5d Spotify: bit.ly/41StkhI

A new episode awaits the insomniac and ANZAC crew.

Josh Allen and Hailee Steinfeld will watch the Buffalo Bills Hallmark movie, meaning there's yet another thing we have in common with Josh Allen and Hailee Steinfeld.

Listening to the 3/18/2020 episode of @itschristmastown.bsky.social in which Roth references the 1994 film Color of Night, also covered in the 5/12/2025 @redlettermedia.com episode of Re:Visit #synergy

There's a gentleman in the Netflix docuseries "The Program" who is billed as a journalist, who deserved Googling, whose sense of flair seems to veer from maybe mid-2000s Inside the NBA panelist to what you see here, which fits thematically, I assure you.

You two are the only people where I read "Alan Dershowitz getting a rubdown" and think "sure, I'll click on that podcast"

SMH, this is what happens when a stadium like Tropicana tells all the carports that sort of behavior is cool.

A tree fell on Jeb's carport and his car died on the road, but that didn't stop us from talking about Alan Dershowitz getting a rubdown and listening to the Don Henley app.

With the right funding, this could be us.

It's an embarrassment of riches! (The embarrassment is we recorded this four weeks ago.) Thrill to summer plans! Luxuriate in complaints about the dough hook AND the NBA conference games. Are we afraid to fly in this America? You bet!

Excited to note that my being mentioned in this episode marks my first entry into the mainline It’s Christmastown Podcast Extended Universe, and not to bury the lede too much: @mobute.bsky.social also got into some cool stuff coming your way if you opt into making the jump from the $3 to $10 tier.

We thumbed through the Food Lover's Companion to explain "swede," kick some dirt on Cuomo's grave, lament the shaggy dog joke that was Game 7 of the NBA Finals, and talk about the migratory rubrics for vibes-based sports analysis.

We thumbed through the Food Lover's Companion to explain "swede," kick some dirt on Cuomo's grave, lament the shaggy dog joke that was Game 7 of the NBA Finals, and talk about the migratory rubrics for vibes-based sports analysis.

Thanks, guys. These are incredible insights into our pod reach.

Many thanks to Local Oaf @snackalgorithm.bsky.social for bringing this to our attention. We will never watch these movies again.

How can we make this happen for you, the listener at home?

I have spent so much time on this podcast positing ideas like Hallmark Collateral, and finally the universe provided exactly that. A chillingly Canadian-coded and car-intensive vision of New York, some charming leads, and me losing my shit at some rudimentary Gauntlet video game noises. Good times.

Because YOU demanded it!!

It means a lot to me that the sequence of words in that tweet make zero sense to me yet I can still tell it was written by a human and not AI.

The production schedule created a beautiful payoff to a Gauntlet call back—well, call forward in this case—from last month’s Fever Dream ep. To find out what I’ve even talking about, all you have to do is plunk down 10 cents a day to become a fellow Patreon supporter.

Get in the giant Suburban! We're going gig-economying all day in a village of NPCs that is "Collateral" in all conceivable Hallmark New York Citys. That's right, Fashion Week is going edible, and Little Mikey is in the hospital. Apple: bit.ly/43sagXz Amazon: bit.ly/4ksUxhT Spotify: bit.ly/43dSKpK

Get in the giant Suburban! We're going gig-economying all day in a village of NPCs that is "Collateral" in all conceivable Hallmark New York Citys. That's right, Fashion Week is going edible, and Little Mikey is in the hospital. Apple: bit.ly/43sagXz Amazon: bit.ly/4ksUxhT Spotify: bit.ly/43dSKpK

@itschristmastown.bsky.social @mobute.bsky.social @davidjroth.bsky.social Important updates in the "Swagony of Defeat" field

Okay. So we brought back @sarakatew.bsky.social and @meredithlclark.bsky.social to break the rules. We did non-Hallmark IP. But—but!—in our defense, it WAS a movie made by Walmart and featuring a member of New Kids on the Block.

Okay. So we brought back @sarakatew.bsky.social and @meredithlclark.bsky.social to break the rules. We did non-Hallmark IP. But—but!—in our defense, it WAS a movie made by Walmart and featuring a member of New Kids on the Block.

This bonus episode is late, but the important thing is that it's also depressing.

thank you for helping us document this vital moment

need the future it's christmastown intern to index the transcripts so we can see how many times ortolan appears, where it first appears, and which host is the show's ortolan leader

She should pay more heed to her son.

This week on The Way Home, Andie MacDowell finally gets fed up enough to yell at the pond.

For years, philosophers have postulated the existence of a Hallmark Cinematic Universe version of Pleasantville, with both Christmas and a very snippy Jim O'Heir playing pivotal roles. In the most recent Hallmark podcast ep, we got our answer. (It was pretty good?)

Jerry Gergich is Queen Bitch in Hallmark's Pleasantville, when the daughter from How I Met Your Mother goes home to a town that turns zombie-grayscale when an Amazon app makes Christmas disappear. Apple: bit.ly/40RGA4G Spotify: bit.ly/4aUMUgv Amazon: bit.ly/3EtdOA6 www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIgP...

I will not admit to what sound I make when I see that a new episode of this show is released. But I will admit that a sound is made.

Jerry Gergich is Queen Bitch in Hallmark's Pleasantville, when the daughter from How I Met Your Mother goes home to a town that turns zombie-grayscale when an Amazon app makes Christmas disappear. Apple: bit.ly/40RGA4G Spotify: bit.ly/4aUMUgv Amazon: bit.ly/3EtdOA6 www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIgP...

I've gone back a couple times now and can't locate the post in question, but someone asked what the old synthy outro music we used to use was called, and I wanted to answer that. It's "If U Want It" from the Cyber-Vision LP.

Fell asleep listening to this, and this morning had a premonition that at some point David says "I'm a soft touch for beans", and had to go back to confirm.

Beyond the social implications of the Beef's handjob not taken, we spent some time on our favorite parent-horror show, the kind of backtalk we're not going to tolerate here anymore, and how our representative in Congress saw a demon and another demon making babies and the demon baby looked at him.