The Premier League is now 5 seconds of open play then 30 seconds of prepping for a set piece. We can fix this with rule changes: - Teams only get four set pieces per possession - If the set pieces are bad, the other team gets the ball - If they're good, they get four more - Let's call them "downs"

I told my wife that kids online were daring each other “kind of like a Bloody Mary thing” to listen to this cursed song that a dead child molester recorded in the eighties and I asked her if she wanted to hear it and she wasn’t sure but she said yes And she was so mad at me when it was “Thriller”

Using the euphemism “I’m in my Lincoln Era” whenever I go to the bathroom

Should be wearing a Greinke jersey as a show of solidarity between guys who got a 9-figure deal in LA after abandoning the Royals

An important message to the people of New York City. More information at zohranfornyc.com/birthday

There's always been a fight over the true story of America. I believe deeply in the story that says we’re all created equal, and that if we can treat each other with decency and respect, all of us will be better off. I talk about this and more on the final episode of WTF with Marc Maron. Watch now:

The inflatables have made it to Broadview.

It is morally wrong to want a computer to be sentient. If you owned a sentient thing, you would be a slaver. If you want sentient computers to exist, you just want to create a new kind of slavery. The ethics are as simple as that. Sorry if this offends

At the start of this is he explaining that the reason why they don't separate out the vaccines is because it is "inconvenient" to go back every year? As if the AAP doesn't recommend 3 months then 6 month visits before recommending annual visits after age 3. 15 visits by age 5.

Why does it take a BRITISH newspaper to break a story like this? Where the hell is the American media? 🤨

Critical part of the President's new $100,000 charge for H1-B visas: The Administration can also offer a $100,000 discount to any person, company, or industry that it wants. Replacing rules with arbitrary discretion. Want visas? You know who to call and who to flatter.

Dutch late night TV has its take

This is a paragraph Brett Kavanaugh wrote on his little computer and then sent out into the world:

Now you C-D-See it, now you don't. @theonion.com

Game on.

Ahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahhahhhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahh

Featured in the final edition of the Bulletin on Retirement and Disability: Evolving Disability Reporting Patterns and Employment Dynamics During COVID-19 https://www.nber.org/brd/20251/evolving-disability-reporting-patterns-and-employment-dynamics-during-covid-19

Motherfucking wind farms…

Trump’s Caddie magically drops a ball for him not in the deep stuff ⛳️

Tomorrow's front page 📰 Convicted US felon to arrive in Scotland

Is you sending birthday cards about a criminal fucking conspiracy, etc.

Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia

for as long as I've been alive the GOP "negotiation" strategy is to offer you a giant mountain of shit you then have to negotiate to a slightly less ridiculous mountain of shit, at which point everybody applauds the fact the giant mountain of shit wasn't even bigger

We should all be disgusted by the flood of anti-Muslim remarks spewed in the aftermath of Zohran Mamdani’s victory in the NYC mayoral primary — some blatant, others latent. Shame on the members of Congress who have engaged in such bigotry and anyone who doesn’t challenge it.

US Steel golden share? Class G shares?? No! It’s worse than that, it’s a personal power granted to 🍊🤡👑!! From US Steel’s amended certificate:

This thread is an absolute must-read. Anti-trans, like other positions adopted by the political right, is—in essence—a conspiracy theory.

the fact that donald trump has a long-standing relationship, friendship etc with notorious pedophile jeffrey epstein is like, just a fact. epstein would recruit girls to abuse at trump's club in palm beach. it was never turned into a big scandal because the people who run the media like trump

the bit about Africans being active in the slave trade is telling. it’s something that is only relevant if you think the point of discussing slavery is to disburse racial blame rather than understanding history.

OMFG THE RIGHT WING OBSESSION WITH “AFRICANS WERE ACTIVE IN THE SLAVE TRADE”!! “Africans” didn’t collectively sell themselves into slavery because they didn’t see themselves as Africans. They were Igbo, Fulani, Kongo, Mali. Nations. Just like slavers were Portuguese, Spanish, English. 1/

i think it should be a bigger story that the president held a meeting with a foreign head of state where he ranted about the most gutter white supremacist propaganda you can find on the internet

me: they think it should be illegal to have black people in positions of influence savvy, sophisticated pundits: don't be hysterical the trump administration:

Free speech guys who were getting sick of mustering half-hearted denunciations of arresting people for op-eds when they hear Salman Rushdie voluntarily pulled out of a commencement speech

They’re eating the cats! They’re eating the dogs!

Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi went to a consulate in Istanbul to get a document he needed to get married. Instead, he was murdered and dismembered on the orders of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, now a close pal of Donald Trump.

this guy is out here proudly being a eugenicist freak while people at mainstream and "respectable publications" make excuses for him or even muse about whether he has a "few good points"

Just out! Our peer-reviewed critique of the Cass Review has been published by BMC Medical Research Methodology. Please read and share. We show that the Cass Review is fatally flawed and should not be the basis for policy or practice in transgender healthcare. link.springer.com/article/10.1...

Bring it on, bitch.

Every piece of Harry Potter memorabilia subsidies this world

We have had nearly two decades of panic about Free Speech on Campus and not a single case, not even the ones they made up, were as bad as what's happening now

1. OSHA has ordered the digital and physical destruction of 18 publications on workplace safety practices, according to an email obtained by Popular Information. The email says the publications have been removed from the web and tells staff that physical copies should be "disposed of or recycled"

Adams must be removed. The city cannot sustain being governed for nearly a year by a Mayor who is being coerced by Trump admin in order to escape charges. This corruption poses a real threat to the people of the city. He should have resigned a while ago, but will not. So it’s time for him to go.

to this point, why do people think the “antiwoke” backlash is so prominent among elite opinion journalists? could it have something to do with the distribution of reward and prestige since about 2019 or so?

When the Italian Government accuses you of a morally despicable crime, it's not ALWAYS bullshit.

me in the morning once trump imposes a 50% tariff on colombian imports

The Tuskegee Airmen were the first African American flying unit in the U.S. military. Altogether, 992 pilots graduated from the Tuskegee Air Field courses, and they flew 1,578 missions and 15,533 sorties, destroyed 261 enemy aircraft, and won more than 850 medals.

latest column is on the dipshit curtis yarvin

What is socialism, if not the state owning the memes of production

I BET DEI DID THIS

we're just normal men. we're just innocent men.