Okay, Go Illini!!!

🚨 Christina Koch has officially become the farthest any woman has ever traveled from Earth

NASA’s Earth photos from Artemis inspired me to put this on today… 🙂 Getting lots of positive comments on it as I run errands…

Okay so the principal added a non-attributed quote at the end of the weekly update. “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” And I am puzzled. Culture and strategy. Those aren't things I think of as being opposed. What is this supposed to mean?

Remember how he said Covid would be over by Easter? That’s the “two to three weeks” stuff he was saying last night. Same stuff.

may this define her for the rest of her life. she was willing to stoop this low and still got fired. girl, bye.

If you're @raskin.house.gov, how tempting is it to do a press hit today where you tell Pam Bondi this isn't goodbye forever, it's just a farewell until he's running House Judiciary next year and has the chance to subpoena her himself

Rip to every president who lost a war in the middle east but I’m different. And better. Maybe even good enough to win a war in the middle east

Lol. Give us a Star Trek series about the Federation IT department.

Mannnnn. I have an interview at 5:15 tonight, so I'm gonna miss the blast off. phbbbbbt.

I brought in a giant bag of dried fruit to share with the precious angel babies, since 12- and 13-year olds are ALWAYS hungry and more than happy to constantly complain about it. One of them just realized it's a healthy snack and is acting like I've personally hurt his feelings.

It’s nice when ppl check up on you. I got a quick text asking how am interview went (fine?), and it was so nice someone asked. That’s all. That’s the message.

Hey, go Illini!!!

Yesterday I filmed several baby birds walking across a street directly at my camera and asked Bluesky to suggest music Several dozen folks did Some even dubbed music over the original clip. I haven't been able to get this out of my head. So I give you A Bluesky exclusive: Reservoir Ducks 🐣 🪶

Things I say at work "Use this time wisely and do NOT hit your classmates in the head with your water bottles. Please stop turning your privileges into weapons."

Scenes from 7th grade.

the plan: improving ICE's public image by ensuring americans see a bunch of racist slobs making $100k a year lean against a wall and repost nazi memes while everyone else is waiting in a six hour long security line

Questions asked in 7th grade science class today: Why do women have so many holes (asked by a young woman)? Why do some people have weird thumbs (aka hitchhiker thumbs)? Is it spring now? Who invented money and why?

Woohoo! Go Illini!

Seen tacked to a community board on my walk

This is going to be the GOAT of didn’t age well takes

Joe Manchin Cedes Title of Most Despised Democrat in History to John Fetterman

Oh NOW the elite want people to work from home again

Airport staff in Tasmania found a possum blending in a little too well among stuffed toys in a gift shop. https://cnn.it/41bdpu6

A few days early.

View for the next few days.

Am in Chicago for a few days with my family. One of the biggest cities in the country. I’m in the Field Museum, heading towards the dinosaurs, when one of my first hour students found me.

It feels weird to not root for the US team, but after the debacle with the men’s hockey team, I cannot trust a sport of white guys to do the right thing. #WorldBaseballClassic

Never forget: 8 years ago a random person on Craigslist wrote the most effective ad for the Toyota Corolla, ever.

Ope. Tornado sirens going off. My family gathers to look out the window.

Where will today’s mass shooting take place? Just saying, “the USA,” is cheating. We already know that.

REI walked away from negotiations with the @reiunion.bsky.social, refusing to pay union and non-union employees the same wage, unacceptably demanding union employees take less. Now they're proceeding with benefit and wage cuts against union members. If you're a member of REI, tell them to eat shit.

.... and that's how I found myself talking to a CS professor about whether or not his 7th grader should be starting SAT prep...

Overheard in my 7th grade classroom: I dunno. I can feel me starting to turn back to my old ways. It ain't good.

Really could go for a nice sammich for lunch, toasty and warm. Instead I'll inhale some of these Ritz crackers and wait for 2:40 when I can make a run for the vending machine.

rt if u hate nazis and love boobs

The next time I feel the call of the void, please remind me to move away from the printer. #PaperJamFromHell

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

THREAD: I got laid off from NYMag/Vulture after 14 years. The family lost 75% of income + medical. Now mzs.press bookstore, once a side project. is do-or-die for Judith & I. I feel weird telling you this because others are doing much worse. But if you could like or share this, we'd be so grateful!

He's gonna try to draft blue state kids, isn't he?

Who invented the sump pump? That person deserves more honor and glory than we’ve been giving.

Sort of anecdotal, but my time in the auto insurance industry has convinced me that a LOT of the dudes with the jacked up $80K Ford F150s are paycheck to paycheck, have staggering commutes, and get absolutely killed by quickly rising gas prices

My wife has a lot of family in Poland, and one of her cousins was asking how the US can possibly afford this. The answer is, our public infrastructure and services suck colossally

On Friday, the principal reads shout-outs submitted by staff & students on the PA. Most weeks there's maybe 10 for different people. But. I got a dozen. Each read by the principal praising my skills as a teacher. I don't think it was planned, but it came across as a beautiful, respectful revolt.

This fundraiser is mighty close to the goal. Let's get these fine folk the fuck outta Florida.

For incarcerated people, #books are power are hope. #Bookbans are acts of oppression. Challenging them requires understanding them. 3/18. 1p EST. 👇🏽 @themarshallproject.org hosts a virtual event teaching you how to investigate book bans.

I just let the cat puke on my favorite hoodie because at least it wasn't the rug.