If they settle, I think it's an impeachable offense for both him and the AG.

“your best friend Harry, has a brother Larry, in five days from now, he’s gonna marry. He’s hoping you can make it there if you can ‘cause in the ceremony you’ll be the best man.” there’s so much to unpack there

Increased Work Commitments Causing Man To Neglect Alcohol https://theonion.com/increased-work-commitments-causing-man-to-neglect-alcohol/

I didn’t realize a big part of my daily routine as a teacher would be looking at my schedule and figuring out the best time to poop

I did this for an entire 10 years once.

Mr Brightside has been on the UK top 100 charts for ten years en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Bri...

because solar power is woke

things i'd like to do this summer: read mccarthy's border trilogy replay red dead redemption 1 & 2 watch deadwood slowly become a cowboy through media absorption

the hypocrisy from the gop is breathtaking. the people who scrutinized every word biden spoke for signs of mental decline are bending over backwards to make excuses for trump's rambling nonsense and lies. the last 10 years are a compelling argument for republicans to never be allowed in power again

everything is a grift

free speech is when you're free to shut up and sit there while i give a speech

probably doomsday

It's wild that American Republicans see millions of people attending No Kings rallies and assume, with no evidence, that they're all being paid...and then some grandma who has literally lobbied for DoorDash delivers to the White House with the *cameras rolling* & they think it's an adorable moment.

My latest for MSNOW details how the Trumps turned Fox News’ “Biden Crime Family” schtick into a business plan, and the network immediately stopped caring about political corruption: www.ms.now/opinion/trum...

I hate to whatabout, but this was literally the core of what right wingers wanted to impeach Biden over. www.reuters.com/world/china/...

"for unknown reasons, my mortal enemies appear to be concerned with the core essence of humanity in a way that my allies are not. oh well, better not think about it too hard."

#ClassroomStandings - “Logjam in the AL East” edition

Trying to fathom how Catholics would react if Barack Obama or Joe Biden said this about Pope Francis or Pope Benedict because of the church's stance on abortion or gay marriage. I am trying to imagine the outrage Republicans would have and the media cycle. But Trump trashing Leo XIV is just Sunday.

Breaking News from @theathletic.com: Rory McIlroy held on to win his second straight Masters, becoming the first back-to-back champion since Tiger Woods in 2002. www.nytimes.com/athletic/719...

RORY

We didn't clear house following Reconstruction or following the Civil Rights Movement and we absolutely have to do it next time.

I’m struggling to find any word other than “evil” to describe republicans

The Secretary of State attending a UFC fight while wartime diplomatic negotiations fail would generate an explosive, front-page, above-the-fold headline for any previous administration

hey @paramountplus.com go fuck yourself

combine them into one vote. see how many republicans are willing to sacrifice one of their own in order to get rid of a democrat (and to be clear i think both should go, i just don’t want to see dems hold their guy accountable while the gop just shrugs and pretends they didn’t see anything)

He's going to run as the anti-war candidate in 2028 and the stupidest people you know are all going to pretend to believe it.

i firmly believe that kennedy wants preventable diseases to rip through american communities since, in his warped mind, those who survive without vaccines will have proven themselves “healthy.”

just give Rory the jacket. it’s over.

growing up is realizing robin williams is 100% the villain of mrs doubtfire

They’re feeding fighter jets to the seas like they’re shelter cats but sure, the communication service that unites our nation is the problem.

maybe instead of rubber stamping a trillion dollar pentagon budget every year we could fund a service that everyone actually uses

From @theathletic.com: Rory McIlroy has been unleashed after a first-round 67. The rest of the Masters field should be terrified, our columnist writes. nyti.ms/4c3nwaM

hey @schumer.senate.gov here's another impeachable offense if you're really interested in pursuing corruption

“We believe representing the voters will get in the way of our election by the voters to represent them.” DO YOU HEAR HOW YOU SOUND GUYS

X-Men, Sega Genesis (1993)

completely incompetent "leadership." if your midterm focus is corruption, fucking impeach the most corrupt president in history.

scrub harder, lady macbeth

the cease fire is going well I see

ooh a mystery googles "average cost to attend the masters" it's over $10k mystery solved

“Why aren’t college students protesting” stories are almost always wrong (they are protesting), omit crucial context (they were brutally punished for protesting before), and somehow suggest that 19 yr olds have more moral responsibility than elected officials three times their age

*talking to teenage militant atheist self* current me: okay so there’s a big fight between the government and the catholic church teenage me: got it, so we’re obviously on the side of the government current me: I, uh, you might want to sit down for this one

To all who celebrate

hello friends