Today, Mike Johnson will keep the House adjourned for the 84th day out of the last 96. 12 days of work in over 3 months. With full pay and benefits. The senate has been working, so this is not about the shutdown. It is about avoiding a vote to release the Epstein files.

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It must be so fun to play with Aaron Rodgers. If you don't make literally every catch on every ball he throws to you no matter how inaccurate he puts his hands on his hips and curses at you like an alcoholic gym teacher and then after the game you have to hear about how 5G causes IBS

holy shit the steelers uniforms are ugly

If I were in the press corps I’d make a deal with the other reporters that at every press conference, one of us asks whoever is speaking how they sleep at night

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Yoshinobu Yamamoto, by the numbers: 9 innings 4 hits 1 run 0 walks 8 strikeouts 105 pitches 73 strikes 17 swings and misses 11 groundouts 3 flyouts There are pitchers who can do everything. Yamamoto is one. The splitter, the four-seam, the curve. All of it worked. Kaibutsu.

I really think that we need to talk more about the fact that Republicans have basically quietly abolished the House of Representatives

Congress basically doesn’t exist at this point

The president doesn’t have a constitutional right to impose a tariff because he doesn’t like a foreign country’s TV ad. I know this doesn’t matter to the dictator in the White House, but I thought I’d point it out in case we ever start following the Constitution again.

The president got his feelings hurt, so we're doing 10% more tariffs on Canada. Joke of an administration.

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Just for the record, in 2020: - Wray was the FBI director Trump handpicked to replace Comey - Jack Smith was in the Hague prosecuting Kosovo war crimes - Garland was an appeals court judge - Monaco was in private practice in LA There was no Biden administration yet, crooked or otherwise. He crazy.

It cannot get lost in the shuffle, even with so much else going on, that the world's most wealthy people have had their minds absolutely rotted out, just saturated to the dripping point with black mold down to the studs and frame, by the all encompassing unhumanity of their wealth.

"Nevertheless, it’s amazing that the same demographic who foamed at the mouth when the Green M&M changed her shoes are totally fine with an entire wing of the White House being destroyed." via @lyz.bsky.social www.patreon.com/posts/dingus...

These are screenshots from the ACTUAL WHITE HOUSE PAGE on the timeline of the East Wing. You may not believe what you re seeing. Go and check for yourself. This...I don't even know what to say about this.

Oh my god some fucking tech dingdong posted this on Twitter with the caption "AI games are going to be amazing" totally seriously, you have to watch it. You have to. In full screen.

during the 2016 campaign, the Boston Globe ran a scary mockup front page of what a world where Trump was president would look like, and it’s pretty tame compared to a random Friday morning’s headlines now

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“I am not interested, nor will I ever be interested. I'm 61, and I hope to be able to remain uninterested in using it at all until I croak. ... The other day, somebody wrote me an email, said, ‘What is your stance on AI?’ And my answer was very short. I said, ‘I'd rather die.’” 🫡

Elon Musk couldn’t figure out how to make a pop tart without hurting himself

The photo: The comments you will laugh at:

instant impeachment for literally anyone else

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I made a joke about the metaphors being heavy-handed yesterday, but this somehow encapsulates everything. The president is wrecking a structure he does not understand and does not appreciate and does not value to build something ugly and self-serving in its place.

i was really into a politician, then i learned new disqualifying information about him, and now i'm not into him why is this concept so hard for so many people

if you took a shot every time mike johnson said he didn't know something you'd be dead by now

discovering this morning that I have a serious deficiency in pasta shape opinions

well that's refreshing, it's not like he's been legally barred from operating a charity for pillaging it's funds or anything

just register as a republican already this is exhausting

a functional press would, every single day, repeatedly, across numerous paragraphs in every story about him, make it clear that this is indisputably the most corrupt President in U.S. history

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Joey’s day care sent us an email requesting pictures of us for security and it took me an embarrassingly long time to find a picture of myself that looks like someone you would give a small child to

Democrats should be drawing up legislation right now, this very minute, to bar Trump from helping himself to $230 million in taxpayer funds from DOJ. Challenge Republicans to hold a vote on it. Push this so hard in the media that every GOP Senate and House candidate is pressed to comment on it.

the president has destroyed the east wing of the white house without so much as a word of input from anyone else to build a royal ballroom paid for with bribes

the most nakedly corrupt administration in history and it’s not even close

Reminder that Violent J of Insane Clown Posse has the correct response to a lot of the shitty things he said in the early days.

Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness

I am completely awestruck by the ease with which Mike Johnson lies on a daily basis. I'll never understand how such a transparently fraudulent "man of faith" can live with themselves. Life is too short to be that phony.

Look, folks, he's the *Speaker* of the House, not the Listener of the House or the Watcher of the House. You can't expect him to be aware of major events that are unfolding right before him.

See the issue is that Trump ran on releasing on the Epstein files, and Bondi said she had them sitting on her desk ready to go, and then Elon Musk tweeted that Trump was in them and they were suddenly deemed a hoax and Ghislaine was moved to a spa prison, so you can understand the fresh intrigue

I guess where I’m landing is less “oh no he’s a Nazi” and more “I just went through this shit with Fetterman and Sinema and a six year term is too long for me to take on faith that your Nazi tattoo was the accident but what you’re saying now is the truth.”

milkshake duck strikes again