Deeply saddened to learn of the loss of my dear friend Satan, the Prince of Lies. Though we often disagreed about matters such as the appropriate role of torture in the afterlife, I will most remember how his quick wit and affable nature made our weekly golf outings a ritual. He will be missed.

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

It’s a bioweapon! It’s a common cold! It’s a floor wax! It’s a dessert topping!

Jane Eyre Conditioning #HeatwaveBooks

I dream of a distant future in which I can go online without seeing any mention of anyone named ███████.

Browsing through my music for some suitable classical morning listening—i.e., playing “Haydn seek.”

Breaking: Beethoven’s “Missa Solemnis” nominated for Latin Grammy.

recycled from 2014: —————— U.S. life expectancy has reached a record high. Imagine how much higher it would be without the death panels.

As Marcel Marceau once said: … ... !

Dance like nobody’s mocking you mercilessly!

No Soup for You, Charlie Brown!

Lysenko Jr.

The vet suggested coating the cat's pills in a little mayonnaise and now I tell her she's going to the Mayo Clinic

Good evening. I’m your host, Salvador Dali. Welcome to Surreal Housewives of Orange County.

My dad invented and built the Dutchest of Dutch instruments: the klompolele

I got 99 problems, and apparently one of them is keeping track of how many problems I got. So... 100 problems. {{ sigh }}

Cyclospora cayetanensis, ssp. Bobbyjuniori

☣︎ as we sing the ancient hymn, far above us a wind blows across the toxic, radioactive surface of the planet ☣︎

“God, you’re stoned,” said my cat.

** battering the fourth wall ** Is anybody there?

(Other nonsense is available.)

Not my empire, not my dirt.

I’ve never coddled an egg. Those little bastards need to man up!

Finishing up my latest single, “Antifa Stabbed My Pool”

Watching the sauntering of the bulls. Very restful.

Eternal Sunshine of the Thoughtless Mind: A History of the Trump Administration

It's entirely reasonable to ask for seconds when dining at the swamp of eternal despair and decay.

* Hildegard von Bingen surreptitiously adding smutty jokes to her works *

The cats are stoned. The police have been alerted.

“I don't want a stupid person being president.” DJT, March 2026

A very pregnant Francis McDormand trains her gun on me, screaming to be heard over the digital wood chipper into which I’m feeding AI movie star Tilly Norwood.

Cage Match of the Century Musk vs Bezos On Mars!

My favorite kind of landscape? Desolate AF.

The Sensual Sound of Flossing #ASMR

Honestly seems like pretty good advice generally.

her: I’m leaving you me: but why? her: your obsession with grammar is making life miserable for the kids and I me: *sobbing* for the kids and me

once i was a sound-sweep with sonovac vacuuming sonic debris once i was a sound-sweep, i can’t go back to that cacophony brother, can you spare a decibel

‼️ HEAT ADVISORY WARNING: Don't forget to drink plenty of water and stay inside between 11:00 am and November 1st.

Still can't quite believe the World Health Organisation framed Roger Rabbit AND let the dogs out

Non-morning person, logging on...

*blackadder theme* It's waited for 1000 years The evil in the ground was frozen It fed upon the locals' fears And now, dear stranger, you've been chosen Folk Horror! Folk Horror! The trees have found their voice! Folk Horror! Folk Horror! You never had a choice!

They tell me I’m uncultured, but I’ll always recognise a bit of Beethoven.

Rime of the Ancient Marinade

There once was a man from Nantucket, but I never met him so I can’t really tell you any more than that.

The roses are red The garden is quiet But no one expects

Fireworks, Mountain Lake Lodge, Virginia, July 2, 2023.