Frantically ordering commissions from artists so they stop making sexy Jar Jar Binks art

One year ago I was recovering from an appendectomy and I feel like I’m in worse health now than I was back then.

I can still fix it.

How many assassination attempts on your life does it take to realize you might be doing something wrong?

Gonna start proposing new times for meetings from people I don’t like and not show up anyway.

It’s Friday

Was gonna do my taxes tonight, but…

Remembering the time in first grade I came home on Aprils Fools day and found out my pet bird died.

All day, every day. Transphobes are not welcome here.

objectively the funniest critique an american could level at another country

A life spent trying to look like the handsome squidward meme is objectively funny and sad at the same time

So much concern expressed for “hardworking Americans.” What about us Americans working at around 65%?

I hope one of those horny emoji copy pastas is how I find out when It happens.

everything sucks but at least we’re a day closer to when it happens

They’re calling it the Department of Cringe now

Gonna be hilarious when he finally dies the Dow jumps up 2,000 points

Time to go earn a paycheck so the government can collect a portion of my income and use it to blow up another school

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

congress sounds cool i wish it was real

At what point should I accept that this country is a lost cause and start moving to a country that actually wants a functioning democracy?

I’m always amazed these out of touch weirdos somehow convinced a large group of voters to lead this country. They’re telling you to eat organ meat while they ride private jets around doing photo ops with gross D-list celebrities. They have no idea how to relate to normal people

10 weeks of physical therapy and I leave with more problems lol fucking shoot me

Watching state of the union until I tap out like it’s some kind of endurance torture test

Happy Twin Peaks Day to all who celebrate

Somewhat glad I live in a leftist social bubble because if I met people who actually wanted all this my head would explode.

every commercial for ai is like “chat tell me how to read a spreadsheet”

I mean..."crabapple." She was unsurpassed. www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVoj...

Wonder what life is gonna be like when we move on from “papers please” fascism to “rip up your papers in front of you and deny they existed” fascism.

Pope Leo if you excommunicate JD I promise will go to church once within the calendar year

me when he finally dies

Love that this is phrased as if AI makes you smarter lol. Are you “cognitively amplifying” to do your email job or are you just “using your brain” They just find new ways to embarrass themselves

Dudes got the juice

Now putting ice packs on my right hip, left ankle, and both knees after runs. Looking like some kinda shitty cyborg

The post celebratory hangover the day after he’s gone is going to be biblical

The yearly dilemma of opening that bottle of champagne in my fridge for New Years, or waiting for when he finally dies

How your email finds me between Christmas and New Years

My favorite Christmas movie is Muppets Christmas Carol, but only the part in the beginning when all the muppets are singing about how big a piece of shit Scrooge is.

5th Annual Bûche de Noël for the family Christmas party was a success

I’ve listened to the DeLucas Chophouse part 5 times now and it makes me cry laughing every time

As reality gets darker and bleaker, I defiantly remain a silly little goose

Wow, Hillary Clinton’s PR strategy of being irrelevant since 2016 almost made me think she didn’t suck. Good thing I saw this

happy whatever the fuck day it is

Drink and entire bottle of wine and not become filled with existential dread challenge (failed)

Girl Scouts in a Chicago Suburb hosted a food drive. But the girls encountered masked U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents with weapons. "ICE turned it into a scary and what felt like an unsafe environment for us to be out with these kids" chicago.suntimes.com/immigration/...

“I want you to understand what it is like to live in Chicago during this time.” aphyr.com/posts/397-i-...

My backup plan is muttering “fuck this” and walking away