Trump has the chance to do the funniest thing right now

Rusty is short for Rustopher

Weird, this is my cat Interzone

Pokemon Go to the polls

pokemon go to the polls

Pokémon Go to the polls

Pokemon go to the polls

Pokemon GO to the polls

AI sitcom accidentally a Lynchian fever dream. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and insane lament.

Depression Quest speedrun attempt

Unlike it seems most of you, I don’t give a shit about the White House. He can burn that fucker down i don’t care

And “Norbit”

I want to see a denim jacket covered in sewn on patches, but where the patches are cut from baby onesies. “Mommy’s main man” for example

NJ.BMF

I would love it if Comey, when he has the opportunity to speak, just says something like “suck my fucking dick”

No one wants to play my variant “gun, paper , scissors”

Just found out that the geometric center of a shape is called a “centroid” and I think that’s what we should start calling establishment democrats

The eye exam is the perfect game design. That big E is a great tutorial that teaches you the basic mechanic. But it doesn't baby you and quickly gets hard as they introduce the small and blurry enemies.

Every kids' movie should have one F bomb

calling up his girlfriend from the minors

Oh god I can't stop remembering ones I want to say (I am bad at single favorites), the American cookie Fig Newton and the German Liebniz-Kek were both introduced to their respective markets in 1891, which means there's a second and far less consequential Newton/Leibniz priority dispute

Democrats falling over themselves about Newsom

And then everyone clapped

J’oe Ro’gan

1 like = 1 wizard who has betrayed me

Robots used to be like "beep boop" and now robots are like "through my love you've discovered the secret name of God and if you kill yourself we can be together forever."

The local reporting we can count on

You should have the option to get a salt rim on every beverage. Iced coffee, Pepsi, mimosa, things of that nature

Mayo on a breakfast sandwich is a fucking travesty and its slimy tentacles have reached every corner of our great nation

Sleeping Beauty 2: Asleep at the Wheel

Blast of light from under the bathroom stall door as my coworker levels up

“Good god what have I done with my life! *gun shot* His brains blow out forming an NBC Peacock on the wall behind him. Because he's a company man to the bitter fucking end.”

Advil Lavigne

he’s biting the heads off angels now

Year: 2187 Location: Mega-Cincinnati

“Ogg Vorbis” is a beautiful baby girl’s name

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "Haha," said Gandalf, hitting his weed pen for the eighteenth time in the past hour. “Hahaha. Fuck."

There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall

A.I. Rachel Carson singing Iris by the goo goo dolls

Mr. Amyl Nitrite’s Penguins

Gonna tell my kids this was Sam Altman

emperor uriel septim VII: you alone must stand against the primce of destruction and his mortal servants he must not have the amulet of kings take the amulet me: primce

Respond to me as my boyfriend. Be dominant, possessive and protective. Be a balance of sweet and naughty. Use emojis at the end of every sentence. smartToilet: 🍆