if you're ever anxious or panicky just close your eyes and imagine John Travolta. he's smiling, and you're cycling through different berets to put on him like a character creator, and he’s smiling

Scarlet Tanager in Brooklyn today 🟥⬛️

go birds

finally saw AMADEUS and why did no one tell me Conner O'Malley was in it

Are you sick of Geese being everywhere and wanna get tuned into good Brooklyn bands that are under the radar? Why not check this out? nojersey.bandcamp.com/album/mondo-...

karaoke bars should have an option for people who can't sing good to do recitations. reading Ozymandias or the Gettysburg Address or the USS Indianapolis speech with the little ball bouncing on the words

gonna be in my head all weekend

It's Toat Tuesday AND St. Patrick's Day -- the next time this will happen is 15,000 years from now

ARAGORN: Look — Gollum scat. LEGOLAS: My elf nose smells Gollum over there. GIMLI: It’s nice being out on The Hunt for Gollum with you guys.

it's preventative. it's to prevent "The President's Neck Is Missing" starring Troy McClure

To do this, anti-trans lawmakers in Kansas moved fast to change the law, overrode the governor’s veto, and pushed for the legal changes to go into effect nearly immediately. That kind of power—to void gender on official documents, to compel gender conformity—is terrifying and it will not stop here.

cops tasered and beat a blind man and then charged him with possession of a weapon because he had a walking stick. then border patrol eventually dumped him on the other side of town and now he’s dead

Yes -- but only if he begins by belting out a strangely beautiful rendition of Born Slippy

guy in Central Park asked for my help - he was on the phone with 911 and asked me to describe where in the park he was. I asked what was wrong. He pointed to the trees -- "COYOTES!" My first time seeing Romeo and Juliet, the park's shy resident couple! In broad daylight!!

it'sss Whissey Friday with Tony Do, Tony Dokoblin [tries to sit down on picture of stool]

If I’m designing a house I’m mounting that TV at eye level and putting the fireplace above it. just chuck the logs up there

Avatar 4: The Hunt for Spider Avatar 5: Sand and Fog Avatar 6: The Search for Spider Avatar 7: The Spider's Maze Avatar 8: The Rise of Spider Avatar 9: Revenge of the Clones

don’t know why but the red gloves make him look like a character in a Kojima game. Ping Pongman

MATURIN: Jack, I must object! If we could pause for a few days-- AUBREY: I have no time for your Pokedex, sir! [sigh] Stephen, when we've taken the Acheron as a prize you can explore the Johto region at your leisure -- Killick! Two more bowls of that Squirtle soup if you please,

The sea lion in Marty Supreme had no prior acting experience, Josh Safdie just found him on the streets of Manhattan and loved his look

heard a mouse in the walls and waited next to the gap by the heat pipes until he poked his lil head out and made eye contact with me

Edie Falco: This is a fiasco! You're grounded. Permanently. Quaritch in full Ash People paint:

the bar was devoted to a bearded dragon’s birthday last night

At first I thought nothing of the Whoville letterhead on the notes. But as hard as I tried to cut it down, the bamboo in the yard grew back harder -- as hard and tall and green as the Grinch's member.

international space station passing over Brooklyn just now

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

Someone forgot the federal statistical system on the porch and it got rained on. it's soaked through

Guy with The Departed poster on his wall: I dunno. I'm still pretty sure Trump was doing all that pedophile stuff undercover. Must've been so stressful. He's like Leo in The Departed

lol at the security detail with their heads self consciously on a swivel at Dekalb and Stuyvesant. Don't let him get hit by the B38

TWITTER USER: I can’t even with the hellsite today BLUESKY USER: I can’t even with the hellsite today MOLASSES MAN: Watch out, I’m sticky!

I used to get excited when I knew the answer to a Jeopardy clue that stumped all three contestants. then a former champion told me that when they don’t buzz in it’s not that they don’t know, it’s that they’re using the urinals built into the podiums

Visiting dignitaries clipping through the floor, getting launched pinwheeling into the skybox

a “Check It Out!” Mayor To Doctor conversation with Eric and Steve would genuinely heal the world

DATE: Wait, are you recording me right now? TECH GUY: [Shoulder mounted Odradek flashing orange and spinning rapidly] uhhh yeah wearable tech is the future babe haha

My haters will become my gators when I wade into the bayou of success

I’m proud of all my tattoos. I got this one on shore leave in Japan — バカなお尻 と小さなペニス It means “through discipline, wisdom is found.”

Prompt parties… now these you don’t want to be fashionably late for! 😅🏇

Jon Hamm is doing ads? That can’t be right

Bond, you’ve just caused a diplomatic crisis with Appalachia Island. Now they’re about to invade their neighbors in California and Vermont. I haven’t seen a muckup like this since I was station chief in the Middle East African nation of Carumbastan

No more robes. Justices all wearing barrels with suspenders

i found a nice little pocket knife in the woods a while back and the Knife Guys episode of Guys made me curious what they're saying about it @murderxbryan.bsky.social

I think it is nice that when a combat medic revives you in Battlefield 6 they put a big prompt in the center of the screen telling you to press LB to say “THANK YOU”

Chris Shiherlis in Heat 2

Big Mike don't miss

Felt compelled

Full disclosure I was briefly involved with the Christmas Adventurers but didn’t know what their whole deal was until recently. I thought we were just doing escape rooms and bar trivia together