The best bit of Home Alone is John Candy listing various polka song titles

*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great *in reindeer chat* BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess DonnerTime: buncha dolphies? VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh

Scored a peach at football tonight you know

I wanna be the first FIFA Poet Laureate

Gonna ask my writer friends working on their novel how their content creation is going

Oh come let us adore him OH COME LET US ADORE HIM OH COME LET US ADORE HIIIIIM REFILLED NOR LOCH

A horror film where the premise is that any time someone double tracks their voice a new copy of themselves has been created

I am 34 and yet still haven't learnt "if you take a video of a band stop singing along cause all you hear is your voice not the singer you idiot"

*dusts off* a couple memes I made a few years ago

he’s the creator of Flask. he’s literally the creator of Django. you dipshits he invented Zoop. better watch how you talk to the actual inventor of Peebo

RIP Sean Connery you would have loved saying this headline

this is really lovely

Was at Glasgow's 2nd biggest event tonight (The Offspring) which spontaneously broke out into No Scotland No Partys at full time, a wonderful omen

This is as bad as anything proposed by Reform. Leaving refugees in permanent limbo and unable to build a new life in the UK would be a complete abdication of our humanitarian responsibilities www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

my band Shinlifter have their EP launch on Saturday and with impeccable timing our Instagram has been hacked so we’ve lost our main channel for promoting it. if anyone wanted to help share this brilliant poster by my pal Grace there, here or elsewhere we’d be very grateful!

Totally fine and normal to kidnap children in the USA because a xenophobe decided they don't have the right piece of paper. This is what is coming to the UK if we don't fix up immediately.

If anyone in leith is looking for a Monday night 7 a side my usually rammed one has been more sparse recently and needs reinforcements 👀

Spare Idlewild ticket for tonight folks, just Idlewild and me and some mates in Edinburgh, what's not to love. Pay what you want for it.

Seeing a lot of responses to this saying "great, they can arrest the people outside asylum hotels!" which feels like a canny gotcha but is ultimately just an endorsement of the basic premise of the policy.

Phone stolen for selfie (happy birthday @everebecca.bsky.social ) ((hello @hannahjtw.bsky.social ))

Then, I’ve heard it said ‘but they have all this information anyway, why not put it in one place’? Why not? Because you don’t want to make it easier to oppress and control than you should. Grit in the wheels is a protection. 9/10

Wow SPOOKY

Met a man whose favourite Green Day album is Warning a couple weeks ago and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Good for you man.

Bike path to university this morning chalked with Stop The Boats, if anyone up here was waiting for signs

When it comes to asylum seekers, "luxury" doesn't mean expensive, it means "goods and services that fall outside the scope of essential living needs". Everything, from the impossibly meagre allowance to the arbitrary restrictions, is about ensuring denial and misery.

Government plans to halve the ‘move on period’ for Refugees, reducing it to 28 days. 28 days to find a job, get a deposit, and find somewhere to live. Thousands of street homeless refugees by the time winter hits. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

To the tune of Zombie by the Cranberries 🎵 "Til you're dead, til you're dead, laundry laundry laundryyy yyy yy" 🎵 Other suggestions welcome, laundry is one of the better chores anyway so this is if anything a bit melodramatic

Ultimately what I am trying to say: we need a controlled ending to asylum hotels, this is uncontrolled which makes everything more volatile. To get ahead Labour needs to invest in a national plan for social housing which includes asylum housing and stop their own idiot narrative.

As a new sighthill-based student I am probably going to this, if other Edinburgh people are interested/were on the fence (there's a corbyn intro)

As a new sighthill-based student I am probably going to this, if other Edinburgh people are interested/were on the fence (there's a corbyn intro)

Love thinking of a cupboard as "boarding for cups", like here's a nice place for you live little guys hope it's dry and comfy

easy peasy veg jalfrezi

To be honest, hard to put together a policy that sums up this govt more than "we'll recognise a Palestine state in a few months unless you do these bare minimum things that won't even help very much" so some kudos for giving a new example

Wearing my best "I'm not a tourist" expression while dragging suitcase back home so that people think "he's not a tourist"

Fascinated by this tiger. Is he looking for a place to live? Did he build the place? Is he looking for you? Is this his nicest suit?

sometimes you just gotta back yourself

Need to bring the term "Britisher" back with me to Scotland from here in India, really has a kind of intangible ridiculousness of nationhood quality missing from just "British".

CEO of Oreo Cookies: the oreo cookie is as important as oxygen

Took this on a whim and it was really good. Took a while for me to be invested, but once you're there, a really wonderful story about colonisation, science and resistance for the sci-fi heads.

Keep describing where my parents have just moved to (Coimbatore, TN) as a "small town" out loud and just checked to see it has a metro population of 3 million well okay then

Glasgow’s women made history in the largest ever equal pay strike in 2018. A few months later the council admitted their contracts were discriminatory. But almost seven years on, they’re still waiting for new ones - and for all the money they’re owed. www.glasgowbell.co.uk/glasgow-coun...

joining the red wedge later this summer to Learn (the university not the 1919 revolution but also seriously the resemblance is uncanny)

@ewangibbs.bsky.social a friend of mine in Sheffield came across this. Would appreciate thoughts.

A great tribute to Diogo Jota by @hersport.bsky.social .

I've paid tribute to Diogo Jota in the only way I know how: By showing that he was one of the best goal scorers in the Premier League era. www.andrewbeasleyfootball.com/p/diogo-jota...

sorry but this is so funny, "shows his emotion" no he's just getting slapped in the face by darwin who doesn't get his little nerd celebration and wants him to get up and jump around 😆

Only Jota scores this goal like this. One of my favorite players I've ever watched, just devastatingly sad. Thank you for the memories. youtu.be/IqtmljFZ1ik?...

Doing someone's dream today (quitting a job to Chase Further Happiness)