"My only regret in life,” says John The Map, “is saying no to a ménage à trois with two Norwegian lesbians in 1987.” Forget Marianne and Connell — for today's piece, Jack Burke tracked down the true hero of County Sligo:

travelled down to an ultra-wealthy enclave in Dorset to ask people about the budget. But I just found this weird eerie feeling, which I attempted to describe for @dispatchmedia.bsky.social . Amazing photography from Harry Mitchell.

Incredible piece of reporting on Sandbanks, "England's most expensive neighbourhood", and its neighbour, the declining seaside town of Poole. England's two countries, richly drawn @dispatchmedia.bsky.social dispatch-media.com/the-empty-so...

"Everyone here walks around with a glazed expression. You can imagine them ambling contentedly into the waves." @milesellingham.bsky.social reports from Sandbanks, often dubbed "Britain's Palm Springs".

"I had just been informed that the doctors wanted to drill a hole directly into my guts, effectively making my penis redundant. It was proving quite a lot to take in." Paul Sagar on the dysfunction of the NHS's wheelchair services:

From the jungles of the Amazon to... County Westmeath. A network of ayahuasca retreats has taken root across Ireland. Fin Carter reports on the fall-out:

Cajun hookers, cold beer and a gator-filled swamp. What's life like in the town nicknamed 'the end of the world'? @jacobfuredi.bsky.social reports from Venice, Louisiana:

Forget No Nut November — meet the men practising semen retention all year round. By Colette Fountain.

"What if Jonathan Bryan wasn't communicating in his own words at all?" A startling investigation by @garynunn.bsky.social into the so-called "miracle cure" known as Facilitated Communication:

Since 1982, a band of peace activists have camped out in the forest next to Britain's Trident nuclear arsenal. How are they faring? Euan Dawtrey dug out his sleeping bag and headed to Faslane:

In deepest Cornwall, a coven of witches is steadily growing in power — using spells, potions and... WhatsApp. @marianneeloise.bsky.social reports:

For $40, you can buy a masaje in the middle of Queens. Welcome to New York City's red-light district. Claudia Steenhard reports:

“Nothing has changed.” 20 years after a series of banilieus erupted in France, Peter Yeung reports from the Chêne Pointu estate where it all began:

Earlier this month, Donald Trump deployed the National Guard to Portland. He claimed the city was “burning to the ground”. The reality on the ground was somewhat different. Valen Lambert reports:

"I was, as Danny Dyer would say, on their manor." Jack Burke goes in search of Britain's Hells Angels — and finds them at a Kentish garden party. Link below.

An IRA bomber, a Scottish miner, a Toxteth rioter, a Welsh 'lout'. How are they faring today? Ahead of her centenary, @jacobfuredi.bsky.social reports from the frontlines of Thatcher's Britain:

"It turns you into a loner, that’s the problem with this job." María Sonia Cristoff returns to Patagonia's ghost towns — where she finds a oil man imprisoned by solitude.

Across the Alps, migrants are traversing mountain trails in an attempt to cross into France. Peter Yeung reports on Europe's Alpine migration crisis:

Mark Steele is a self-described polymath, weapons expert and whistleblower. He's also the leading figure in Britain's anti-5G movement. Jake Shepherd reports:

What do Bill Murray, Adolf Hitler and Andy Burnham have in common? They all feature in today's Weekend Dispatch. Register for free to make sure you don't miss the next one.

For @dispatchmedia.bsky.social i went on the trail of the Totley Communists and the radical history of Sheffield. dispatch-media.com/the-commune-...

Keep your Andy Burnhams and Keir Starmers. Today, @johnmerrick.bsky.social goes in search of the true communist Kings of the North.

Bonnie Blue, Lily Philips, Rebecca Goodwin all hail from the same sleepy corner of Derbyshire. Is it purely coincidence? @laurabeveridge.bsky.social reports from inside the OnlyFans Triangle:

"I have nothing but contempt for the current government." David Peace speaks to Dispatch about Keir Starmer, Tommy Robinson, the media — and, of course, Yorkshire.

Hidden away in sleepy Suffolk, a US airbase houses America's nuclear weapons. What do locals think? Jonathan McAloon reports:

The war in Gaza has come to Thailand's hippy paradise, where holidaying IDF soldiers clash with locals. Fin Carter reports from Pai:

"Behind barricaded doors, the tradition still lives." Sam Burgum reports on London's squatting scene:

"I went to Dungeness because I love that space and silence that some people call desolation." @marianneeloise.bsky.social reports on the gentrification of 'England's only desert':

Fantasy Football is no longer just a game. For a growing number of analysts, podcasters and paid consultants, it's a way to make a living. Richard Booth reports:

"Will Dispatch ever serve up AI slop to its readers?" Listen to @jacobfuredi.bsky.social's response on Radio 4's The Media Show this week.

"You'll never understand Monaco. It's not for people like you." Even so, you might as well read Jack Burke's report:

Who is Margaux Blanchard? Margaux Blanchard net worth? How old is Margaux Blanchard? Is Margaux Blanchard married? Tbh, I don't know. But today I wrote about how @dispatchmedia.bsky.social exposed her — and why she matters: dispatch-media.com/margaux-blan...

Links and more fake AI journalism in today's Weekend Dispatch. Subscribe to make sure you don't miss the next.

"Twenty years ago this month, a hurricane named Katrina showed up to the party, uninvited, and tore our playhouse down." Jon Cleary on New Orleans:

"Life in Gaza is measured not in days or weeks, but in litres of water." Hasan Jber's diary of daily life in the al-Bureij refugee camp is free to read:

Earlier this month, four people fell from Whitby's cliffs in as many days. As the town mourned, conspiracy theories about a serial killer went viral on TikTok. What really happened? @jacobfuredi.bsky.social reports:

Once, Yosemite embodied a radical idea: that some landscapes are too magnificent for private ownership — that they belong to everyone. Today, that legacy is under threat. Rachel Dec reports:

"Dispatch is firmly pro-allotment." As ever, today's Weekend Dispatch is filled with the news that matters. Plus links, sports and much more. Register for free to make sure you receive the next one.

What are Britain's preppers really afraid of? And how do they differ from their American cousins? @laurabeveridge.bsky.social reports from a Cornish campsite:

In Latvia, Russian-speaking citizens are branded spies and saboteurs. In response, they play chess. Euan Dawtrey reports:

The Isle of Sheppey is home to three prisons, one nudist beach and a colony of scorpions. @lottebrundle.bsky.social reports:

Rumour has it that Tommy Robinson has fled to Spain after reading @roisinlanigan.bsky.social's dispatch from Benidorm. Latest here: dispatch-media.com/benidorms-gr...

I went on the East London measles trail for @dispatchmedia.bsky.social , where cases are currently the highest in the UK. Spoke to a Rabbi trying to turn things around, and the antivax mums who aren't so worried...

There's been a surge in measles cases across the UK — but after crunching the data, one borough sticks out. @petercarlyon.bsky.social reports from Hackney, east London:

On the site today: an interview with @irvinewelsh.bsky.social on Leith, romance and Men in Love. dispatch-media.com/irvine-welsh...

This is a fascinating essay on Paul Ray, the founder of the EDL – a strange and troubled sounding bloke ‪@dispatchmedia.bsky.social‬ dispatch-media.com/the-forgotte...

Tommy Robinson is widely considered the founder of the EDL — but he wasn’t. That dubious honour goes to Paul Ray, a “counter-Jihad” blogger from Luton who disappeared shortly after its launch. What happened to him? @jacobfuredi.bsky.social found him in Ukraine: dispatch-media.com/the-forgotte...

What happens when you mix Benidorm, Buckfast and Loyalist zeal? @roisinlanigan.bsky.social reports from the Costa Del Ulster for the Glorious Twelfth: dispatch-media.com/benidorms-gr...

Albania said no • Italy moves in • A Meloni-themed restaurant The deportation centre Britain couldn't buy — Matt Broomfield dispatch-media.com/the-deportat...