When I’m fully disassociated and I put on my active listening face

If you need me I’ll be over here considering the torn up pile of Monopoly money I saw on a street corner

Tv pitch: Whomst Among Us - Detective George Whomst is a RADA dropout turned undercover officer.

everyone is saying “bluesky is dying”. fun fact, every day that passed after a human is born is just us slowly dying. grow up

Just an idea, cow dressage

David Moyes, rn:

I’ve done something terrible

I do like Rogue One’s idea that love is the reason the Death Star has a structural weakness, but it also feels much more likely that the Empire just used CoPilot

The entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in Britain

In a sane world Sonia Sodha would have lost her columnist gig after writing about that Trojan Horse podcast despite clearly not having listened to it

The thing about the poetry book Polblar Tmolkop is that it's only about Paul Blart Mall Cop in the way that it's not actually about Paul Blart Mall Cop at all. The other thing about Polblar Tmolkp is that it will make you weep.

As someone who has written a lot of apparently contentious Doctor Who ranking lists, I am going to stay quiet on the one you’re all annoyed about

What we talk about when we talk about Paul Blart Mall Cop

Mandalorian and Grogu is a bad film you shouldn’t see but it does have some tiny freaks achieved through puppetry so at least there’s that

Took my son to see Mandalorian and Grogu and now know how my grandad felt when he took me to see Batman and Robin

We’re on the lookout for a major New Poirot who fucks, Worries and blogs. A new Poirot For the internet age. We want to Sherlock Poirot. We want Poirots on buses, Poirots on lips, Drone Poirots emitting Shrill buzzing over Vegas. We want Major new Poirots in your area.

Big fan of the phrase “Major New Poirot”

Feel like children’s first experiences of online communities should not be something that is aggressively selling them shit

This is a really useful letter template! I'd particularly urge my friends who aren't trans to write to their MPs about the new draft code -- the government needs to know that this is a thing that all of us care about!

I keep boggling at this. The Westminster bubble does something to people’s minds. Was this really why you joined the Labour movement? Was this what moved you, when you were young, and you heard the word “equality”? Do you see what has happened, in that last sentence?

Would really appreciate the Greens sorting out their vetting process

I made a Gary Barlow game I’m not sure what more you want from me here

Harry Maguire has been marked as safe from the England squad ✅

You’re not alone. Our trained LGBTQIA+ volunteers are here to listen to any concerns you may have as a result of the revised EHRC guidance being laid before parliament. We’ve supported the community through trials and tribulations for over 50 years, and we’re here for you today.

Is this one event?

Seen folk sharing this today as if it’s something Aberdeen have actually posted, when it’s not on any of their socials but *is* in a shitpost on Reddit.

All neurodivergent people reading this: challenge accepted

A long read but the key takeaways are chilling.

Also worth checking if your meds increase sun sensitivity - surprisingly common and best to be cautious about.

benches become men men becoming stools

It's wrong, but also is it wrong?

“Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?”

Managers and players being interviewed: yeah we don’t pay attention to social media, we black out the noise Managers and players after winning something: *referencing every meme and every post that’s ever wronged or mocked them*

Want to feel old? Simply exist, now.

Would be more impressed with arsenal winning the league after 22 years if it was the same squad

Looking forward to the film adaptation starring Barry Keoghan as The Temp

In which I accuse Tom English of a serious crime

Alex Cole-Hamilton will now be gunged by Dave Benson-Phillips

Orson Welles: I worked with Grogu. Not in film you see but on the stage. Brilliant performer but a cruel disgusting wretch of a soul. Interviewer: Pourrions-nous parler de Citizen Kane à la place, s'il vous plaît ? Welles: yes he did sell out his friends to HUAC, I will never forgive him for that

A whole foods diet is genuinely one of the best things you can do for your body, especially if you have an inflammatory health condition, and all it takes to achieve is near-total bankruptcy in both money and time

I’ve done an inexplicable thing.

This is the opposite of clickbait, in that you have a solid idea of what the reviewer thought of the film without actually reading the review (complimentary).

Tony Ralston at a World Cup. For people who don't follow football this is like making Andy Burnham the Prime Minister.

Unsolicited writing advice: the best thing youve ever written has no commercial appeal whatsoever and all the money has gone to men who did blackface in the nineties

too soon

Got a piece of good news which means I don't have to remind my son that all is dust and time makes fools of us all.

It's been a while since I reminded you that I wrote a pamphlet about the cosmological significance of Paul Blart Mall Cop: thebraag.co/product/polb...