Finally got myself permanently suspended from Twitter after talking shit about Elon one too many times

It’s so funny that vanilla is a unique and exquisitely delicious miracle derived from a rare orchid and commercial produced through an absurdly expensive pollination effort or you can just juice a beaver.

📸 This new NASA/ESA/CSA James Webb Space Telescope image reveals the intricacies of the Helix Nebula in stunning detail! 🧬 🔗 esa.int/ESA_Multimedia/Images/2026/01/Webb_reveals_Helix_Nebula_in_glistening_detail @science.esa.int @stsci.edu

Me telling my dog that we have to hurry up and get home so I can take a piss while we’re out on a walk has to be the most insane thing imaginable for her

OK, I need to find out where I can find shit like this on blue sky.

Hmmm. Maybe I don’t want to get off the chair after all.

Just trying to think about how Republicans would respond if Biden did what Trump is doing in Minneapolis now. They’d be calling for civil war, for gun owners to get out into the streets, and they’d probably arrest a bunch of Democrats. Our party is afraid to start a war that’s already happening.

Take any working immigrant, regardless of their legal status, and I guarantee you they have contributed more to American society than that putrid Steven Miller

Imagine if, hear me out, instead of terrorizing communities and disrupting day to day life, ICE simply didn’t exist. Imagine how much better off we’d be. Our economy. Our mental health.

My entire career has been focused on the health issues that arise during spaceflight. And it’s really frustrating how hard NASA works to hide these risks from the public. Spaceflight is critical to our future but we do a disservice when we hold our cards too close to our chest.

One might even say that being disrespectful of law enforcement was like our entire founding principle

Man, these people got good skin care products and kick ass soup and now this

You’re just kind of going through your day and then for a split second you remember how many gleefully cruel people there are among us and it kind of takes the wind out of you

Can we say torn apart by otters on this app?

Just saw a dude bring leftovers into a restaurant and ask them to reheat it for him.

lol everybody’s rewatching Man Men

Very cool to be doing get another oil war in 2025 when it’s like 85° in January

Yes it’s fucked that the US bombed Venezuela to depose its leader and make a few people richer by taking its oil But what’s crazier is that we used to do this for literal bananas.

My Twitter account got locked for a week because I said that @schumer.senate.gov should be shot into the sun for being the worst possible Democrat for this moment. Anyway fuck Chuck Schumer.

One of the things that’s insane is it so much of what is terrible about the world like the attention economy, Facebook, etc all this shit is just advertising. Everything is terrible so that people can find more effective ways to sell you shit

The attention economy is one of the bleakest things I have seen emerge from a post internet society. We did too much I think. We do too much.

Back in the office, everyone. But no drinking water or using the bathroom.

Someone needs to get all the Megans, Meagans, and Meghans, in a room and finally figure this mess out.

People posting themselves singing to that fucking Kanye HH song

Happy Mothers Day 🤗

Dunno who needs to hear this but chamomile milk tea with some honey, lemony gin, and orange bitters is pretty enjoyable when you like to party like it’s 1986 and you are you’re own grandmother watching murder she wrote.

Hey, now that we’re all adjusted can we still have some hate for daylight savings time?

So I worked this mission, and this statement from a clearly politicized propagandist at NASA is disgustingly deceitful. The lies are so blatant that even one of my colleagues who voted for Trump is disgusted. In 20 years I have never seen anything like this at NASA www.foxnews.com/politics/nas...

It’s so fucking funny how so many white people manage to be racist even when they’re being nice Well, somebody told me this place was run by a Persian so I knew it had to be a successful business Bro, say less. I’m just a dude like you. No magic powers from the near east.

I wish Underberg also sold these gallon sized swing bottles

It’s so funny seeing dipshit reactionaries mad at “pronouns in bio” stuff because I know for a fact that every single one of you with an office job has received an email from a person you didn’t know and you had to ask “is that a guy or a girls name?”

Pretty weird that egg salad is just chopped eggs in an egg sauce but I get it man. That shit tastes great.

Dumbest thing about Chuck Schumer and the corporate Dem strategy - they think people will credit them for being responsible, but people have no memory and Republicans will end up calling them baby raping communists anyway. Meanwhile you lost all leverage to prevent an insane budget

The reason the Democrats keep acting like cowards, getting nothing done, while the Republicans own everything now is that the Democrats are currently threatening to primary Chuck Schumer but the Republicans threatened to kill their vice president. I’m sorry, but the the US rewards political violence

Pitch black at 7am is absolutely fucking ridiculous. Daylight savings time needs to be packed into a cybertruck and set on fire.

I don’t really worry about what the meaning of life is. That feels bougie as fuck. But I really do think that you can be satisfied with a life spent reading books you like. That’s pretty impressive, you stupid monkey.

This whole country wants bad things for others more than they want good things for themselves.

I am not the first to say it but I do sort of see where JD Vance's mom was coming from when she traded him for drugs

It’s so fucking stupid, too. People with government jobs take their salaries and spend that money to support the local economy.

Eric Berger is a disgrace no better than Ted Cruz. Pathetic.

Don’t worry everybody it’s gonna be fine. I ate Black Eyed Peas on New Year’s Day.

I was reminded of how fucking stupid the right wing pronoun rage is when I had to inform someone of my two different employees Taylor and Taylor, one a dude and one a chick.

One of my favorite, fantastical experiences of living in Houston is being outside when a major cold front blows through. Experiencing a shift from 80° and high humidity to 50° and north winds in the span of 5 minutes is unreal.

People that send me endless reels on fucking IG - I need them to stop it’s important they don’t do that anymore.

This shit is so fucking embarassing. “Defending women” Fuck yall

Elon Musk probably needs everyone back in the office because it’s harder to sexually assault people when they’re working from home.

You almost have to respect the way in which the Right adopts their assigned talking points and just goes with it. None of these people ever mentioned or even heard of USAID before the last week or two. Now every single Boomer grandpa is screeching about USAID on Facebook lmao

Hi there @davidwondrich.bsky.social Wondering if I could trouble you for help please. We’re working on some specials for black history month for my bar and from what I found could find Tom Bullock’s Continental Sour seems to be first published version of the modern New York Sour specs…