I know I married the best woman as I get told "close your eyes" and then presented with a children's charcuterie plate... @franjellix.bsky.social #food #foodsky #wife #charcuterie

We're off to the Safari Park today! Me: Do you want to grab a shower before we get ready? 10yo: yes, what shower shop am I going to? This child's jokes kill me off. #parenting #dadjokes

Happy #caturday from the perfect menace...

It's my own fault for using ChatGPT as a search tool, but this really made me laugh. "...with an important nuance..." is sublime 🤌

Zoolander would be impressed. #caturday #catsky #catsofbluesky

My 10yo was telling me about a child at school that was in assembly and dubbed "the pokemon expert" by the headteacher. He said "well, I thought to myself that that's not true, my mom's the pokemon expert." Proud. #pokemon #nerd #pokemonexpert #parenting

When your dog is a Disney Princess.

My husband and I were playing #scrabble except he was playing "Don't Let Fran Get The Triple Word Squares". I still won. @megalatron.bsky.social

Had the best impromptu time with my wife yesterday, got her books and we also found ourselves in a food festival! So we ate ALL the cheese! @franjellix.bsky.social

Apparently we posted this on this day in 2019, and I have managed to completely erase it from my brain until now. “The Breadhouse in Chalfont St Peter” is absolutely the filthiest sexy slang.

Hear me out... Gul Dukat is the original shadow daddy. #StarTrek #DS9 #GulDukat #ShadowDaddy #SpaceDaddy #BookTok

Hannah Spencer walking into Westminster, sucking her teeth, tutting, and muttering "tell you what, you've had some cowboys in here."

Worth noting the combined Green/Labour vote was more than double Reform. Didn't even need tactical voting to beat them in the end. Maybe if they hadn't picked such a useless candidate they would have done better.

Okay, this is quite outstanding from Bedford Council.

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

I'm always only a small breakdown away from falling back into my old school RuneScape hole... bluesky-map.theo.io #ttrpg #ttrpgcommunity #RuneScape #OldSchoolRunescape

My husband is playing #Battlefield6 and he hasn't shot a single enemy or completed an objective yet. Why? Because we're too busy commenting on the real estate opportunities and the layouts of the houses 😂 "Not a good location - I just got shot by the neighbours!"

Women's rumble was stellar. Sol Ruca was amazing! Men's was... Meh... standout performance from the Bouncy Boy. Both singles matches were brilliant too! Might start watching properly again. #RoyalRumble #WWE #RoadToWrestlemania

I'm still chasing this high #dnd #ttrpg #dnd5e

New words in our house to describe my avoidance of work: 1. Pronapstinate - having a nap instead of working. 2. Prosnackstinate - hunting for food instead of working. 3. Probathstinate - having a bath instead of working. Currently attempting number 1. Might have a 3 later. #procrastination

🚨The Petition calling for by-elections to be called automatically when MPs defect to another party is now closing on 77,000 signatures! Let’s get it to the 100,000 needed! petition.parliament.uk/petitions/73...

after an hour in the Covent Garden Waterstones earlier this is accurate enough to be painful. I was the guy in salmon pink for several minutes.

Jo Cox was murdered before the vote by a far-right terrorist & this is the language this complete disgrace chooses to use

This always cracks me up. I have a good friend whose pet peeve is calling it Frank instead of The Monster. I frequently send them this pic.

Who has made this 🤣

Off to MCM Birmingham today! Luckily it is after pay day.

I know we're meant to learn for the actions in WW2 but I didn't realise that meant implementing them too.

Nobody watches the #BBC. Clearly. It produces nothing of interest or value for anyone in the UK.

Gary Lineker for BBC Director General

Playing #TheOuterWorlds2 while I let @franjellix.bsky.social read #ACourtOfMistAndFury 🤣

Starting #ACourtOfMistAndFury while I let @megalatron.bsky.social play #TheOuterWorlds2 😂

Me and Misty have just finished reading this book (I covered her eyes at certain parts 👀) It was delightful. Full of twists and turns and beautiful imagery. I look forward to reading the next one. #ACourtOfThornsAndRoses #BookSky #Romance #Fantasy #Romantasy #BookWorm #CatSky #Reading

If it turns out the Sumo lads robbed the Louvre, I will experience a level of pure joy I haven’t felt since the previous millennium.

As a musician I've not wanted to listen to music all year, I've opted for @bbc5live.bsky.social or podcasts. It is so frustrating but no matter what I try I can't find my music fixation. Which leads me to play music less! Grrrrrrrrr

Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.

In memoriam...

DM tip: Don't walk back from the pub listening to the THPS2 soundtrack. You may roll an ankle wanting to go skate.

My son is so dramatic. #parenting #parentlife #parentsky #dramatic

On the same day in the Telegraph:

Huh it turns out a single post can make a bit of vomit rise in your throat.

Oh to be a cat for a day #cat #catnap #toebeans

Husband: you love me don't you? Me: yeah of course! Husband: you fucking nerd. Wtf 😂😂😂

The most majestic thing you will see on #bluesky today. 😇

This is the last thing the BBC needs

Here's a song back when I had hair! We are trying to get back to recording and gigging so keep your eyes peeled! #acoustic #song #acousticduo #duo #DejaTwo

DND TIP! If you are a barbarian with a fireball happy PC on your side make sure to go Path of the Totem Warrior and choose Bear at 3rd level... That way you can get hit by double the amount of fireballs than usual! #dnd #ttrpg #dnd5e