I’ve been feeling epically sad lately. Like deep dark hole sad. I need a little treat. A little snack or a little gift. Help me with some dopamine and get me a little treat?? Amazon or ko fi or buying some my Etsy? linktr.ee/Itsjessandar...

We have a long distance relationship. I live in San Francisco and he lives on Mansplain Mountain

bellowing riddles into your asshole

beware.

π

Say the thing. Make it awkward. Why the hell not

i'm still looking for work, but i'm also selling my favorite nature photographs. there's not much to see now, but i am gradually adding to the collection. Thanks, y'all 🤍

time for the evening sads, everyone assume the position (fetal)

I've been jerking it to Duran Duran's Come Undone pretty much since I knew what jerking it meant.

Hey,

have mercy.

Anybody know how to keep these damn squirrels out of the little birdhouse in my soul

Omg 🤣🤣

work jams. youtu.be/QKHGmFvzjJ4?...

this is who runs this account:

🤭

inside me there are two hands. Mazzy Star open.spotify.com/track/1LzNfu...

there can be only one tillyverse

you put the boom-boom into my heart.

My hips don’t lie but the left one complains sometimes

work jams. Possum Dixon open.spotify.com/track/0bq8UT...

so glad I have a giraffe folder now.

Year of the fire horse WIP Thinking about the power of communal rage, the knight of wands tarot card and being big/heavy as an asset #digitalart #WIP #firehorse

Girls will be girls. Good morning! 🩷

😋

who gonna let me crawl up inside them like a tauntaun 👀

Here I am, pop and lock me like a hurricane.

Putting Yub Nub prints in the mail at this very moment: store.brandonbird.com

i shared my peace prize with you please respond

If loving you is wrong, I’m definitely wrong.

r.i.p Ace 😔 open.spotify.com/track/69vdsh...

I guess calling the pharmacist Candy Man is frowned upon. Who knew

All done 🤗 hope you can tell who it is lol

I feel like I really made the grade (slightly above average) and now the papers want to know whose shirts I wear (Costco). - Me as Major Tom

New year, same juicy ass.

coffee in our cups your hand in mine

Call me CVS the way I ALWAYS give you the receipts

crazy, if true: caught between the moon and New York City

and you may tell yourself, "this is not my beautiful gingerbread house" and you may tell yourself, "this is not my beautiful gingerbread wife"

again.

Date someone who has a playful side. Someone that you can be silly and laugh with. Someone who is fun to be around. ❤️

she’s a 10 but she calls Velma Thelma.

Dang he's even got the support of the Ninja Turtles.

Do I wanna take a nap now or later?

The movie Knives Out is about Crocodile Dundee going up to people who have their knives out and telling them “that’s not a knife“ before unsheathing his knife which is actually a knife