Tired of the widening gyre. The gyre is wide enough

Found this card tucked inside a 12-pack of beer. Glad to know the Lord approves of my plans to celebrate the end of the semester.

Imagine my embarrassment at coming home from birding to find this old piece of mine reposted. Sorry, Mom. 🕊️

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

But shall this crazed old man be tamely suffered to drag a whole ship’s company down to doom with him?

Can this be a solution?

murderers still sailed on

oh good i was worried it was white supremacy and capitalism

0:30 AM to 11:45 AM: - Dickinson and Drambuie: Pairing Your Favorite Writers with Liquor - The Stegner: What an $85 Application Fee Didn’t Get Me - A Year of Institutional Thinking: How to Unnecessarily Burden Your Students with Residual Academic Monotony www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-m...

[Exit Murderer.]

Markwayne Mullin looks and sounds like some backwoods ding-dong that Raylan Givens has to throw in his car trunk on JUSTIFIED

DID YOU KNOW? If you have Delta Sky Miles, you can donate them to help a kidnapped-and-released person fly home! They are set free on the streets of El Paso or another Texas town with no phone, no money, nothing at all. Your miles can get them back to their loved ones!

If you’ve been thinking to yourself “man, I really want to help people in Minneapolis, but I also some some cookies, AND I’d also like to help out trans, neurodiverse, and BIPOC youth“ boy oh boy do I have some good news for you! digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/troop5...

ICE is now responsible for 66% of the homicides in Minneapolis this year.

Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago

“you won’t get away with this”

oh no

visual representation of “we have added AI”

Woo hoo! I published only one humor piece this year, and I’m pleased as punch that it cracked McSweeney’s top 25.

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

Happy Psycho Day to all who celebrate. (not yet Friday, but near enough)

I love a prestige true crime limited series, but I'm tired of watching bad things happen to Patricia Arquette.

"Of course, it doesn’t feel right to want IT to HAPPEN. And it’s obviously not okay to try to make IT HAPPEN. That’s not what this is ABOUT, just to make things CLEAR LEGALLY as far as VARIOUS AGENCIES are concerned." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/whe...

Elon got Joyce Carol Owned

I heard there was a secret mash That turned into a graveyard smash But you don't really care for monsters, do you?

Can’t decide what to buy on Prime Day? Try: absolutely nothing, and then go support indie bookstores instead 📚

With so much wrong about this 'Ed Gein is bringing sexy back!' take, I'm still going to focus on the historical detail that he couldn't possibly have owned a chainsaw.

my issue of Threepenny is here! here’s my poem “Present Tense,” I would love for you to give it a read! “I know this so loudly I don’t hear, at first, my father’s silence.”

Not only did I write this, but I also escaped that cursed washing machine in the 5th-floor Roman walkup.

So we hate doing stuff like this, but as social media platforms continue to throttle indie publishers like us, we rely now more than ever on our readers. If you can spare $3 or $5 or whatever a month, it would go a long way to help us keep on keeping on. buff.ly/E4eljl9

And the award for best afterword title goes to @lauralippman.bsky.social

“But isn’t it hard to be vegan? What do you eat?”

Nick Saban could do the funniest thing right now.

Do you think he washed his meth first with his little hands? www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

"There is almost no proof that Vance is responsible for the death of Pope Francis. All we know is that the vice president met with the pope, and a few hours later, the pope was dead. To draw a line between those two facts would almost definitely be a little bit premature."

This poem will tear your heart out.

Really feeling this poem by @peninsulapoet.bsky.social posted on @versedaily.bsky.social today.

NYTimes games are really fucking with us today.

There will be a guy with BAGPIPES

The fact that there might be a conclave so close to a movie about one has really motivated me to finish my screenplay "The Tech CEO Who Died of Diarrhea So Explosive The Coroner Said He Had No Lower Back to Speak Of"

Me, judging everyone’s red carpet looks tonight

Four pangrams? In this economy?