It’s the first Tuesday of the month and my free newsletter is . . . still free, still almost worth the price. open.substack.com/pub/lauramli...

Good morning, Bluesky. “Dangerous is what a poet ought to be. Dangerous and drunk.” —Mick Herron, The Secret Hours—

Obligatory disclaimer: I know the world is a shit show. BUT I was sitting here, wishing I could bake just one cookie & I found a recipe for just one cookie and it’s a darn good cookie that took 5 minutes to make, 16 minutes to bake.

Good morning, Bluesky. Daughter binged Suits all weekend. Here’s what I gleaned from snippets of exposure: 1) It’s a show where 2 people stand in offices and yell at each other. 2) Sometimes there are 3 people. 3) “Hey, he was on The Wire.” 4) “Hey, he was in The Corner. Also Showgirls.”

I made a super healthy dinner (kale salad with farro, raspberries, and toasted pistachios & a little pancetta) and there is so much clean-up involved: Am I really going to live longer or is it just going to feel like a lot longer?

Move along, nothing to see here, do not get between me and these shoes.

I am one of the 150 million although I will demand my senior discount.

Good morning, Bluesky. I chanced upon my own alternative universe yesterday, unexpectedly taking a long walk through the neighborhood I once thought would be my lifelong home, surprised/gratified/chagrinned at how limited my imagination is when it comes to my own life.

#IfIWereYourMom (cleaning-out-the-fridge-prior-to-a-trip edition).

Good morning, Bluesky. 1970 Saturday all things happen to us: I drink lots of brandy and go to bed early. Saturday we make a pillow and revolutionize the apartment. —Frank Lima—

@bitsy15.bsky.social, whom I know to be an erudite, thoughtful parser of poetry has published a book of poetry and I encourage everyone to check it out.

It's bittersweet because I ended my subscription to @washingtonpost.com after @karenattiah.bsky.social was fired without cause/due process, but apparently I'm a clue in the crossword puzzle today. (The clue is "Laura Lippman genre" and the answer has four letters. I needed a minute.)

I've been happily killing people (in books) for a long time now, but trying to write a romantic subplot for Muriel Blossom is killing me, folks.

Good morning, Bluesky. Singing oh, it’s enough to be on your way It’s enough to cover ground It’s enough to be movin’ on Home, build it behind your eyes Carry it in your heart Safe among your own. Can never hear JT without thinking about RH. More in the alt text.

Good morning, Bluesky. I’m not religious and I have never fasted on this day, but I do think it’s worthwhile to take some time to think about atonement in all its meanings. G’mar chatima tova.

I keep claiming my memory is shot, but today I memorized these two sequences: high knees/TRX W's/reverse lunge/bicycle/chest press w/bridge/dips/ice skaters/bicep curl to press/diamond squats/Turkish sit-up. Carol, Annette, Margaret, Susan, Suzanne, Pat, Pam, Cynthia, Janet. (workout/book club)

Dangerously close to writing fanfiction about the skateboarders in One Battle After Another.

Good morning, Bluesky. “Boys are playing basketball around a telephone pole with a backboard bolted to it.” “Men emerge pale from the little printing plant at four sharp, ghosts for an instant, blinking, until the outdoor light overcomes the look of constant indoor light clinging to them.” IYKYK

Good night, Bluesky.

Good morning, Bluesky. Love women who call me "sugar." HATE men who call me "young lady." Hate. Hate, hate, hate. This rant will be expanded in the next novel.

Good morning, Bluesky. More than five years out from the pandemic’s start, I have clawed my way back to A-list on Southwest and Select Plus on Amtrak, the “perks” of being in a polycule with 3 cities. Also, I think A-list is much less meaningful now, but so it goes.

SchaMetfreude.

I don’t know the price of almost anything*, but $12.99 for 10 ounces of Peanut M&M’s at the New Orleans airport definitely got my attention. *I know what Beefeater gin retails for all over Baltimore.

Good morning, Bluesky. They say never meet your heroes (Part 2) but @tricialockwood.bsky.social was the platonic ideal of Tricia Lockwood and that’s rarer than you might think. (For example, I am more of a fuzzy photocopy of @lauralippman.bsky.social) Also she read a poem called New Cooter.

The double feature of the year is seeing One Battle After Another in a theater then watching Battle of Algiers at home while high as a kite.

Good morning, Bluesky. A day in my (New Orleans) life. 1) Clean out costume closet, throw out the enormous phalli, which are beginning to deteriorate. 2) Meet with handyman re: live oak growing into my porch 3) Kill cockroach as big as my pinkie by hurling Filofax six feet. (Photo from 2022)

Had a very frustrating experience with Lyft tonight that ended with me correcting the agent's grammar, I'm sure that was super meaingful.

My life would be simpler (and better) if I just remembered to do everything @meganabbott.bsky.social says. Bonus: Ran into someone I’ve known almost 20 years, turns out we’re both going to the same book party tomorrow at @jamiattenberg.bsky.social.

Good morning, Bluesky. “Why do you feel you must turn everything into a story?” Because if I tell the story, I control the version. Because if I tell the story I can make you laugh. And I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me. Heartburn, Nora Ephron (Photo from Sept. 2023)

For @stlsparty.bsky.social this is the start of the thread that sent me to the Husky; I defer to the full-time New Orleanian. However, several of my favorites are still missing here; I was mocking my own exuberance on the topic.

Good morning, Bluesky. “Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy, And they’ll be nice to you.” (Wait, is “Fancy” Chuck Schumer’s favorite song?) Photo from 369 days ago.

I guess I should provide a little more info: This is happy hour at The Husky in New Orleans. For $20, you get a cheeseburger, fries, and an old-fashioned. Or you can get a happy hour cocktail/wine for $9 and the burger-fries for $14. Possibly cheaper than Five Guys? Really good burger and fries.

Took your advice @fuzydunlop.bsky.social

Good morning, Bluesky. I thought I could go indefinitely without a freezer and then I realized it is essential — for storing gin, cocktail shaker, and martini glasses.

Share this document on how to engage in the Nexstar and Sinclair protests. docs.google.com/document/u/1...

Is Chotiner DC or MCU or some other universe unknown to me? At any rate, I await the franchise about a superhero who is — actually, literally — just asking questions.

Good morning, Bluesky. Nothing I can say today that Oscar Hammerstein II didn’t say better 82 years ago.

Too many things!

Too many different things are going into that baby at too big a number.”

New ‘Capital Gazette Five’ highway markers remind: ‘It’s still dangerous to tell the truth.’

Good morning, Bluesky. I will be quite annoyed if the world ends on Sept. 23rd because I have reservations at Acamaya on Sept. 25th.

My cool wife teaches 9th grade English in Baltimore. Because of budget cuts in an already impoverished area she has spent over $400 on classroom shit the school should be supplying. Please consider helping or sharing this Wishlist of supplies/treats for her kids www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Good morning, Baltimore. And, lo, the moms of South Baltimore petitioned the universe for a dance party and Stoop Productions gave us “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” — 3 hours of ‘80s songs, starting at 6 pm at the Ottobar. Chef’s kiss. Please do it again. (Photo from August 2024)

Also:

What movie do you consider perfect?

Good morning, Bluesky. Hooker: He’s not as tough as he thinks he is. Gondorff: Neither are we. Insomniac 2 a.m. rewatch of The Sting, followed by reading Pauline Kael’s short, funny pan of it. I can’t disagree with a word she wrote and yet I enjoy it immensely.

BTW, I just left a 5-star review for my current dentist, who is amazing. I cannot tell you how much I appreciated those little pats on my arm as they were numbing me.

Oh, BTW, my kid’s response to my addled state: “You’ve never done drugs before, I can tell.” Me: “Yes, let’s go with that.”

I think he means we’re all going to have to have more than one job in order to pay for the cost of goods under staggering inflation?

Numbness almost gone from this morning’s repair to cracked molar, but still groggy AF. So groggy I’m going to share why I need oral sedation to survive getting a crown.