You ever have a friend just absolutely NAIL a Christmas gift?

This entire weekend

How can anyone expect me to socialize at this party when the host has decided to play Police Story?

there are a rabble of uncertain, fugitive, half-fabulous whales, which, as an American whaleman, I know by reputation, but not personally

Talk about your nightmare blunt rotation…

We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over

Every legal story now is either Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach or In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport

It cracks me up that the thing motivating me to get my passport renewed the most right now is the Simran and Raj statue in Leicester Square. (Second place is the Columbo statue in Budapest)

Every Frame A Painting

I wish I enjoyed anything as much as this person apparently enjoys their genitals being stomped on by the internet.

1. Goodfellas 2. Casino 3. After Hours 4. Silence 5. Last Temptation of Christ

1/ I’d like to share what’s happened since Sept. 30, the night of the most dramatic raid of the Trump administration’s Operation Midway Blitz in Chicago. Under the cover of darkness, 37 immigrants were taken from an apartment complex …🧵

As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history. Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX

folks, he's not Marty Normal

I thought I’d heard most of the Wu tang b-sides, but this is incredible

Mamdani opening with a Debs quote is baller as fuck.

this is objectively hilarious

This magazine just fired all of their politics staffers

I am so upset. Last week Time Magazine solicited a piece from me on Zohran Mamdani & anti-Muslim hate. I pitched a framing re the dehumanization of Muslims & how Mamdani’s inclusive, socialist campaign in its content resists that. They agreed. I wrote the piece. 1/

Of all the pieces by @brandonbird.bsky.social that I’ve purchased as a cellphone case, this is the one that most distressed my mother.

fuck gavin newsom

Historically, all reactionary forces on the verge of extinction invariably conduct a last desperate struggle against the revolutionary forces, and some revolutionaries are apt to be deluded for a time by this phenomenon of outward strength but inner weakness

I actually made a super complicated parlay bet that this exact thing would happen and am now hella rich

still cries at a good film still kisses with saliva no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick that's driven into frozen winter shit

this is by far the worst reading of Alan Moore’s Watchmen I’ve ever seen and if you spend an appreciable amount of time online you will know what a crowning achievement that is

Every few years I check in on Armond White and folks, he’s not getting any better.

MILD SPOILERS FOR TRON: ARES

MILD SPOILERS FOR TRON: ARES

If you know basic kabbalah it's actually not too hard to make a golem out of a labubu. Don't recommend it though. They have a pre-existing body-dharma. As soon as they wake they run straight for the sea. V hard to counter. Lost the first one. No idea what it's doing out there. Moved like lightning.

TFW you paid $1400 to see Beckett’s most famous work without knowing anything about it

so glad someone's writing about the most important character in One Battle After Another: Bob's purple 1991 Nissan Sentra SE-R maxread.substack.com/p/the-oscar-...

I finally got my shit together enough to have another art show next week and it turns out I’m competing with a free Parliament Funkadelic show.

I’ll probably never watch The Strangers - Chapter 2, but the trailer did cause me to start listening to Cults

I don’t think I’ll ever be good at remembering that the word “sheriff” only has one r in it

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Having millions of people who categorically do not understand the concept of "it's a bit" suddenly exposed to GWAR is pretty magical

Honestly it would be pretty funny if the rapture was tomorrow.

As someone who works with autistic kids, I can’t tell you how much I’m dreading anything he has to say about this topic.

[getting eaten by a dragon] Don't worry. I plan to change it from the inside

Hello, I am turning 45 in a few weeks and I would really like for someone to fund me being able to see this.

Listen, the Saja Boys might have been demons killing humans and stealing their souls. But that doesn't mean they weren't also tremendous showmen and performers. And that their defeat by Huntrix is a tragic day for the whole world

Appropos of the second picture, I once again state: share.google/bSwpxzV3NCh9...

ICE officer kills man in Chicago suburb during arrest attempt reut.rs/3VbGBhJ

I know everyone is consumed with other news, but this is a big fucking deal: The Trump administration says that IUDs and the Pill are actually abortions. Here's what USAID told the NYT about the $10m in birth control they plan to destroy. www.nytimes.com/2025/09/11/h...

imagine going back in time and seeing a triceratops fighting a stegosaurus and both sides are clashing with the cool horn weapons and then out of the trees comes a big stupidass iguanadon waving the little spiked thumbs around like he’s gonna join in. hell no

Realizing more and more that my only reason for posting anything on here is to occasionally get likes from like five people I could just as easily start a coup text with.