I need to take a social media break to write my thesis. Please yell at me if you see me on here in the next three weeks.

Imperfections in your skin bothering you? Try 17 tiny wounds. You will not regret making 17 tiny wounds.

Everyone hates my friend Yvonne Babylon. She doesn't eat gluten eggs or dairy but she does eat meat. She's a sex worker. I keep bringing her to parties as my plus one. She's Christian. She smells like vinegar. I think she's transmasc. I love her

Being an environmental chemist sort of messes with your relationship to pollutants. You cannot make me care about microplastics. Candles should be banned. I'd love to go to Chernobyl sometime. The inventor of the leafblower should be shot.

So many good smells can come out of the human body. Which makes the bad ones all the more enraging

They should invent a third gender so bisexuals like me can actually get some platonic cuddling!!

A mile of cooked spaghetti is about 5kg (11lbs)

I miss him 😭

SSRI withdrawal rules dude I feel incredible

I used to think being 6'3 meant I would never pass but now I do. Almost never clocked, people just treat me like I was born to rule. So don't let that stop you

boy

“Locked in” reinforces the carceral mindset. You’re free to concentrate as you wish 😌

woke up as a skeleton and so obviously first thing i do is try playing my ribcage xylophonewise right? bad idea, i hit one rib and instantly pass out from the pain. don't even know what sound it made. life as a skeleton sucks. i gotta pee and i don't understand what to do about it

My buddy Grayson the Hunter hooked up a bug zapper to a small generator and left it in the Amazon rainforest. I keep telling him that doesn't count as hunting. It doesn't feel in the spirit of hunting.

I finally found wally and he was tuggin on his shit but when I showed somebody it had changed back to normal and now whenever i find him he has an evil grin :(

if you don’t spend several hours a day on your phone you’ll miss all the Crap and Bullshit

When you make a flirty mistake, you've gotta diva zone your way out of it.

The opposite of mushroom is lemon

You can read or listen to an audiobook recording of Neuromancer (1984) by William Gibson at any time. You don't have to wait.

ireland electing people with power: time for cartoonish avatars of the brute power of capital 🫡🫡 ireland electing people without power: let’s pick the nice one 🙂 with the dogs 🙂🙂 who swims 🙂

if you cry on the bus it makes you more real. realness is about crying on the bus

You need to weather the storm diva. Diva you must

A strange woman involved me and my date in a scheme last night so she could get me alone and I was so impressed I made out with her.

🙃

no one will report the truth which is that he's knocking down the east wing to try to feel something

Last night I dreamed I had a pet raccoon who figured out he could take selfies on his iPad and I was soooo proud of him. So yeah. I do want kids.

man, same

Doing Bad!!! Logging Out!!

Trying to forgive myself very hard rn!!!!

Water cooler talk with your new AI coworker: “Did you watch Severance - whoaaa slow down on the cooler there pal”

I'm built like this... If you even care

Assuming trans people's physiology based on our birth certificates is potentially unsafe

You should read swanboy. It has Baptiste in it, the best character.

No solution to the problems of our times that relies on individual moral choice is a solution. Bike Lanes, Recycling, Thrifting, Boycotting, Masking, Personally standing up against discrimination…all of these do very little while increasingly encouraging a morality of puritanical self flagellation

I'm sick and the only cure is 5000km away

quit yapping on the dancefloor. I can’t hear you and I don’t want to

I hate when someone who knows me invokes my name as a spell, or worse, a prayer. I know they mean well but it's like am I just a talisman to you?

me: ugh god you know how you make plans for friday night but then friday night gets there and you don't want to do it and it feels sooooooo good to cancel? my liege lord Daimyō Nobunaga (unsheathing katana): even a dog understands loyalty. She whose word is not bond does not deserve to live

I don't want to be rude but how did the world class security team at the Louvre not anticipate "breaking the window and then driving away very fast on a motorbike"

I gotta get better at chinese NOW

I LOVE YOU AND IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT THAT NOTHING BROKE YOUR FALL. BUILD SOMETHING FOR THE NEXT VISITOR. TAKE THE TIME TO DO IT WELL. WHEN WE DIE WE COME BACK AS OUR OWN VICTIMS. GO EASY ON US. WE LOVE YOU.

I wish I was watching a movie with one of my cool friends. I love watching movies. And with a pal? Well hey.

An actual war crime. Facilitating genocide. They shouldn't be able to show their faces in public

sorry if ive been acting weird lately. they took my soul and put it in a box and threw that box in a river and it screams but no one can hear it

Going to a show and talking instead of listening to the music is a sin and it will lie heavy on your heart when Anubis weighs it

How do you forgive someone for something you did

The lead in the protein powder news is huge for me because I always knew protein powder was a servant of satan

if I look sad it's because I am sad!!

Every time I let my estrogen dip below baseline I lose hours every day to the curse of "thinking about butches"