Monty Python and the Goalie Fail (I'm truly sorry for this)

Since at least once a summer the sky turns into Dune now I would like some kind of post apocalyptic likelihood tracker in my weather app. Knowing there is a 30% chance of Mad Max conditions would help me plan my week.

Went to the Jack White/Angine De Poitrine show last night. Shoutout to weirdos who are committed to making guitar noises that appeal to my specific sensibilities. Guitar noises are fun as hell.

Makes some music I really like, but everything about this guy is getting weirder and more off putting as time goes on.

Horrible new bullshit from the sea every time. It’s never ‘oh we found a new pink fish that is so happy’ it’s always stuff like this, the crush-depth screw-headed dongwongler, and it’s got to have big long creepy bits. Sick of the ocean tbh.

You won't find me out here begrudging anyone enjoying a sports bureaucracy helping their team out. Don't care how corrupt or whatever it looks. But if you post some "here is why I am still on the right side of things" explainer you get all the red flags. No overturning my ruling of Yikes.

I gagged and nearly puked twice during the final Jackass movie. I also teared up three times. Give it an Oscar.

My kid was going to the dollar store and I asked him to grab me a pill case so when I take my meds it doesn't look like I am popping drugs at dinner or whatever. His response? "At your age you are more likely to pop a knee."

Remember to stay safe in the heat!

The Mets paint a baseball masterpiece with colours I did not know were on the palette.

"Should Jays fans boo Bo?" discourse is lazy. "Should Jays fans boo Vlad?" discourse is visionary. See where the ball is going, not where it has been.

I saw someone suggest that Schneider needs to channel his inner Gibby and fight one of his players. I propose the inverse. The players should be allowed to beat him in the midsection with hammers before each game as team bonding.

Sorry Blue Jays, team friendship is over. Only winners get friends. This group now all eat alone in the cafeteria.

Vlad’s slash line: .276/.358/.360 Anthony Volpe’s slash line: .257/.357/.358 Probably fine.

Nobody can seem to be normal about her anymore and the discourse around this record is likely to be unbelievably stupid. Pro or con.

congrat’s to sweden

There is truly more that unites us than not

I have no real problem with Fantano, but the hubris of this is the exact problem with the influencer as journalist set. It’s disrespectful to the decades of work so many have put in, who have shaped the cultural conversation and given context to history. Just a baffling statement

Me: I would love to see more of what we saw from the Blue Jays in the 2025 home stretch. *Schneider walks out to pull Little from a shit pile of his own making. YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT

That was fun as hell. Love to immediately sports hate a nation forever.

Every Sportsnet writer/analyst will bend over backwards to tell you that in game management is only one part of a manager's job. And sure, true. But not having a reliever ready as Trey went out is such a needless mistake that he had better be a savant at all the unseen parts of the job.

John Schneider

My kid went on his final field trip of grade 8 to Kensington Market to sample food from a range of cultures and explore, etc. He spent almost all of his free time thrifting old baseball jerseys with his buddies. If he goes off the rails at this point I blame high school.

Louis Varland take me in your strong arms and tell me everything is going to be alright.

“It’s deeply concerning that the average 45-year-old male does not have a single friend or relative willing to text their favorite track from Harvest Moon with the caption ‘GOAT’ typed underneath,” said lead researcher Shannon Bailey

The Jays have to score three runs now? Three runs? Who do we think they are, the 2025 Blue Jays? No, these are the 2024 Blue Jays - sorry. Technically the 2026 Blue Jays. But same basic model.

Me watching the Blue Jays baserunning decisions

Me and all the other old dudes at the Goose show comparing supportive footwear choices. Lifting each other('s arches) to be their best.

Ummm. RBC Bud Molson Stage and/or Amphitheatre or whatever you are called now - that ain't that band's name.

Nothing brings back the feeling of a middle school teacher being disappointed in your project like the expressions and sounds made by friends and family when they ask what you are doing on a beautiful Saturday and you answer "5 hours of jam bands."

One of the years I went to Bonnaroo I definitely overdid it one night and bought a festival shirt off some random guy that had a totally fake lineup on it. Woke up and was like "was Fleetwood Mac here and I somehow missed that?" So in that way this feels on brand.

hey quick question, am I having a stroke

Important news: My wife, who worked in Detroiters’ art department, has located the original Karn on the Cobb file in her archive.

For my kid's final school concert of the year 30 to 40 kids did what I can best describe as a slowcore version of Cake's The Distance. It was better than both times I have seen Cake play it.

Going to see a jamgrass band on my own tonight because it is literally the only genre of music that every friend group I have immediately says "Nah man, happy for you but miss me with banjo solos for three hours. See you on the other side." Fools.

In his late 80s and early 90s Willie Nelson has been on a run of mostly unappreciated incredible records and the new one out today is no different. And putting them out at a Guided By Voices pace. Unreal.

bro don't tell me you got tempted by the fruit of another. im literally calling you to tell your stupid ass that the truth was discovered

If you bring a glove as an adult to a baseball game you should also have to wear a full uniform. No halfway cosplay.

The Coca-Cola Freestyle machine is an echo chamber. Good luck finding nuanced debates about hot button issues on that touch screen. It’s just soda names and flavored syrups

Troy Tulowitzki 💥 HOMER! 🏠 Off Chris Bassitt | 5 inning | April 23, 2016 Pitch: Slider 80.4 mph (642 rpm) Hit: 104.1 mph | 407 ft | 30°

Watching the Pirates play is like going to an auto show or whatever. A chance to get an early look at all the new models before they are available for sale to every other team.

if i buy this will i be as happy as the guy staring at a garbage bag half filled with his shit

Ok, this one appeals to my depressed nostalgia. Beach Boys with Brian Wilson Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Kris Kristofferson Phil Lesh and Friends David Bowie D'Angelo Amy Winehouse Allman Brothers Band Dr. John The Tragically Hip (like basically everyone here)

This album has transformed my day. Extremely my thing.

“if you google my name, it DOES bring up my feud with John Popper but to be fair, he deserved it”

And they’re right to do it