why was six seven afraid eight? because nine ten i'll heaven and. Twelf

my shit's like lasagna it takes four hours to make

It's fun that cockamamie means "ridiculous" even though it sounds like a device that injures your penis

going to college in the early 2010s was crazy. You go tens of thousands of dollars in debt and all you learn is how to dougie

My memory of what it was like to browse the Xbox Live Indie Games store page in 2010

Why does the Fire Giant even give a fuck? Who cares if some dickhead wants to throw his girlfriend in the bowl? Just chill dude don't rip your feet off or anything

only good political cartoon i ever seen

We talk a lot about neurodivergence but we haven't really talked about neuroconvergance since that song "I'm Every Woman"

im gonna dig up the devil and steal his chains and rings and shit

Missile is such a pessimistic name. They should call them hittles

they should make a vid like this for my co-worker Craig

they should make a thrilling porno that brings to mind the artful athleticism of Cirque Du Soleil or the Harlem Globetrotters

I don't have a sense of humor about anything. When something funny happens it just pisses me off. Every time you laugh at my jokes you are actually hurting the shit out of my feelings

couldn't afford Final Fantasy VII growing up. I had to travel through Madgap as Clyde and Tiffany and defeat Seth O'Roth in the critically panned Penultimate Daydream 7

no babe they hit me with a ray that made me jizz prematurely. it's the new havanta syndrome. from the cruise ship. babe please

Your training has left you woefully unequipped to defend against my Stupid Bastard Style

GUY WHO CANT REMEMBER WHAT JUNK EMAILS ARE CALLED: yeah I been getting a crazy amount of sperm lately.

no babe they hit me with a ray that made me jizz prematurely. it's the new havanta syndrome. from the cruise ship. babe please

Not my job to wipe someone else's ass

if evolution was up to me we never wouldve got past worms. it would have just been worms evolving into longer worms for billions and billions of years. hope i can count on your vote america

ok but if you soak a deferred dream in wine can you turn it back into a grape?

only wednesday

it's so funny when people think Geraldo Rivera is a real guy even though the kit is literally sold at every half decent disguise shop

I had the same problem but thankfully gamefaqs got me. If the symbol looks like a wife exiting a doorway with a briefcase, that one is Divorced, and buddy, the debuff is permanent.

I have a status condition but I don't recognize the symbol and there's no tooltip

every couple of weeks someone presents this as a groundbreaking insight when it is simply how communication has worked more or less since we began grunting in the mud

if you have only experienced this movie by looking at the movie poster then you've actually had the ideal Twins experience

Maybe if you were a PUSSY but real motherfuckers would spend 3 hours troubleshooting bullshit in order to spend 15 minutes playing the shittiest game you've ever pirated

It’s always “you’re autistic” and never “thank you for telling me everything you know about mega man”

STUPID GUY: it's so badass how these guys treat people however they want and everyone is scared and resentful of them MY GENIUS ASS: it's so badass how these guys sit around eating sandwiches and not going to work

the plot of Metal Gear Solid becomes more believable as you get older and realize that yeah, your boss probably would spend millions of dollars cloning one lightly insane but reasonably competent employee rather than try to hire and train someone new

THE FATTEST RIPPED GUY YOU'VE EVER SEEN: my armor is FOUR TIMES THICKER than any other armor and I have killed FIFTY MEN in a single swing. BERSERK FROM BERSERK: fuuuck I'm gonna have to hit this guy really hard with my sword (two pages of insane line work) FAT RIPPED GUY: fuuuuck im cut in half

Having a migraine is kind of like your brain hit it's funny bone and as a result it has no choice but to make hell real for 4 to 30 hours

a lot of people talk about how vibe coders can't code, but I think it's very notable how they also are incapable of vibing

simon is always on his discord server typing weird wholesome smol bean stuff. alvin watches livefeeds of people being killed on the internet and me well i'm the only normal one of the 3.

im straight and i only got one season into Jojo but my stand is Samantha from Sex and the City

getting my ass kicked because i refuse to stop calling my pants "over-the-dick socks"

most people know Plato for his writings on philosophy but he also wrote a pretty good guide on how to eat the pussy crazy

I made this for real once and it was pretty good

might just detach from reality completely start wearing a lot of velvet and a fez. go down to just the moustache. get shot in a pool by a european person. die in prison

Vampire Crawlers feels like holding an unplugged controller while someone else crushes a run of Slay the Spire

I hate the Cha-Cha Slide. I listen to music to relax and have a good time, not to be bossed around

Jon Bon Jovi is French for Good Joyous Johnathan

ME: your name is pretty unusual considering where you're Of LAWRENCE OF ARABIA: yeah,

They should hire me to go back and write good versions of all the shitty X-Files episodes. I could make "Evil Guy Who Comes Back To Life With a Salamander Hand" work

KILLER: any last words? ME: George Costanza kinda went beast mode KILLER: damn great choice