due to budgetary constraints, we must now choose between hooting or hollering

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If you want revenge, then dig two graves. the first one is a practice grave to get a feel for it and the second is your main or "show grave"

LEE GREENWOOD, SINGER OF "PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN" (if he was vegetables): I'm proud to be in a little can, where at least i know I'm peas

people who don't use dark mode

it's called the Last Supper because after that we started calling it dinner

Who up losing they Regent runs

im making a new kind of booze by soaking all my old batteries in gin

they should make a cigarette for babies

my professor graded my paper XXX- and pulled her large bosom from her brazier. but that's just another day at Porno College

MYTH: you should always disengage the wheels of your Heelys before going down the stairs FACT: the fastest way to go down the stairs is to let your iconic Heelys do the work and gently roll you to safety

reports say the victim was cooked, (burned alive) washed (drowned), and chopped (mutilated)

im a surgeon and i'll be honest, i try harder on the hot people

angrily texting Goku "what the fuck do you need a spirit bomb for at 1 in the morning"

the Skinner Box is a classic psychological experiment where you can't be sure if a cat in a box is learning or not

trees don't even know about war or taxes or nothin. just fuckin around with glucose all day long

i love when an ad on a porno website says "tired of jacking off?" obviously not. that's why i came to the website where you jack off

kinda fucked up that we call it the taint. there's literally nothing wrong with it

i will never Rest In Peace. i will Aust In Powers

some leniency should be given to funny forms of violence

go ahead, boil me alive. I'm 20x more dangerous in my broth form. I've got you right where I want you

on the field of battle they call me Killshooter because i have killed hundreds of enemies combatants using only my bare guns

Perpetually fatigued wizard Barry Manalow

Evil Scientist Discovers 100 New Diseases

Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium are notable for being two of the only films named after my asshole

it says here that you tried to evolve your machoke by leveling it up. according to gamer law you are now my slave for this life and the next

new Arby's sandwich gun "it shoots that shit right into you" Arby i'm thinkin we're meats ™️

does the abuse inflicted on people accumulate in our souls over time, driving us to greater evils? is our capacity for wickedness limited only by our short lives? will we expand that vessel in order to accommodate only greater hatred? whatever not my problem

in my horror movie, the monster has his big ass dick out the whole time. it's so fucking scary

stop trying to kill me. if you try to kill me one more time, I'm telling

It is time for a confession. I am actually famous poster Fio Fiorello. I have been lying to you all for months. Although this was all a joke, we must never forget those who bravely sacrificed their lives because I thought it would be funny

its crazy that Nardwuar is level 57 and he still hasn't evolved into Gene Shalit yet

building a 1-to-1 functioning replica of the Pillar Of Autumn just so me and the boys can rip the bong and drunkenly die recreating the warthog run in a used grand cherokee

The Silent is like driving a sports car The Ironclad is like riding a horse The Regent is like driving a sports car, except you're a horse

HP Lovecraft sounds like a healing spell from a Care Bears RPG

nice opinion i cant wait to read your blog on doodoo dot shit

Berserk (1997) is an good anime with an interesting message. That message is "Psych mothafucka! Buy my books bitch!!"

playing the kirby mirror match but our b-buttons don't work

worldwide web contracts dementia, age 35

when you're pregnant with a baby named Craig, then you're Craignant and medically it's different. Everything's different. Same with Greg

in the third episode of Berserk, Berserk says "there's only one thing you should do with your mouth on the battlefield," and then he puts the other guy's sword in his mouth. this is a subtle hint to the audience that he is stupid

damn baby are you the apocalypse?cause armageddon a boner

Top 10 Signs You're Shitting Your Pants

French Stewart Unrecognizable In New Eye-Opening Docuseries

It's not the 90s anymore. There is not time for Klax

Balena Etcher sounds like the name of a beautiful woman

video games have surpassed movies as an art form because it's still impossible to make a movie that doesn't make war look cool but developers have successfully made games that can trick you into thinking golf is fun

just saw that video with the tire men. but how do I make this about #FinalFantasy #FFVI