Bit nippy out 🥶 Enough to make your teeth hurt

Get their ass, Emma. www.wmagazine.com/culture/emma...

Well I dreamt I had to show Werner Herzog how to play Pokémon Go

Sometimes all you can do is make the world 0.0000000000001% less awful by being a good person and it feels very meaningless but it’s also the only thing that really matters

The police are not our friends and neither are the press

Setting up hourly reminders to unclench my jaw

Boy, I tell ya. #pixelart

I’m not sharing either of the videos and ABOLISH ICE This is what they’re willing to do in front of witnesses so they’ve undoubtedly done worse and with the Government’s enthusiastic support. Also there are countries, like mine, that want to import this?

It's the 3rd of January 1939, your name is professor James Smith and you are staring at a drawing of a fish. It's not a regular fish. It is a completely impossible fish.

It’s true that social media ‘isn’t real life’ but it’s also to true that a lot of people are using social media to be who they really are

The Spanish version is “the left liberates, the right oppresses” and once I learned that, both screws and politics made more sense

before you decide you don't want to vaccinate your children you should have to take a 4 hour cemetery tour with me where i point out every tiny little headstone of a child that died from a preventable disease and is buried with their parents who would have done anything to save them

Broke into the tomb of the unknown soldier and it turned out he was a skeleton.

Any drinker committed to Dry January given the state of the news daily, has my respect. You are very strong. However, I am weak and resemble that skeleton in The Last Unicorn

Good mail day for this DS9 fan

“Your parcel from WATERSTONES (DROPSHIP) is due to be delivered today” I did not know that Waterstones has a military

45 y/o, in a nightclub for first time in years. Young lad burst into the toilets & caught me furtively trying to open a little ziploc bag. He said "just a heads up, the bouncers come in here to check for drugs". Couldn't tell him it was my bag of googly eyes, to stick on a poster

PETER PAN (1953): There’s a scene where Tinker Bell looks in a mirror and is shocked by how thicc she is. Shortly after, she becomes stuck in a keyhole. In storytelling, we call this Chekhov’s ass.

Someone show them a map without the Mercator projection

"It's not believable"

I will never get over that, OTD 5 years ago, he was not immediately thrown in jail where he belongs for the rest of his miserable life. The fact that he was allowed to run again is a fucking disgrace, and even moreso that people elected him again anyways. I'll never forgive it.

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

i actually think it would be amazing if the court found Maduro guilty and immediately said that the appropriate punishment is deportation to his home country

What are the odds that the State fuck up their court case against Nicolás Maduro worse than they have been doing against Luigi Mangione? I know he’s legitimately a bad guy, but him being set free would be so embarrassing

Managers really love the phrase “gift of time”

The Sandman comics and universe Also Good Omens, through association

Been gradually watching Shaw Brothers films via the Arrow Films box sets and while there are always some filler, it’s nice when you come across a banger like Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan (pun not intended!)

Not necessarily history per se but the very first online grocery shop actually was in 1984 in Gateshead and used the same medium as ceefax/teletext www.bbc.com/news/magazin...

They gloop. Nature's lava lamps

Because sperm needs to be kept at a certain specific temperature to be useful, and the balls raise or lower from the body to keep that temp a bit below body heat like yeah it’s funny but also there is again an actual reason!

My personal take is that if you have to put boobs on a cartoon dog and you give them fewer than six to ten, you’re a coward.

GREAT news we have added a new column to the chessboard and a new piece that can move any direction within a 4-square area called The Drunk

Seeing some potentially messy drama brewing on the TL and hoping no one ends up hurt, other than the one that asked to be kicked in the balls

Declan Shalvey in there on the Graham Linehan one Are there many Declan Shalveys out there?

Weird how the Online Safety Act doesn’t affect 𝕏

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," JK Rowling hollers as she overturns her uncle's Christmas Tree and turns the Twelfth Night into the Twelfth of Shit

HAPPY LAST DAY OF CHRISTMAS

Use the term “touch grass” to indicate that someone needs to seek out reality, use the term “touch moss” to indicate that they need to seek out ancient forest magic beyond their mortal comprehension.

Laughing at everyone who is back at work today Unlike you, I avoided this by working throughout the holidays thereby micro dosing my misery

*gets handed a memo from Keir Starmer*

Snow ❄️

Disappointed to find that Wang Yu, who played the One Armed Swordsman, has two arms. No commitment. Google him and you find many photos of him waving with his right arm. Shocking.

What a cowardly, lily-livered, weak, puppet, white supremacist terrorist regime supporting piece of shit

Yes, hello? I don’t think 2026 is working properly. I’d like to cancel my free 5 day trial please.

DoppelDÄNger

The Wild London programme on the BBC with David Attenborough is mostly lovely: Fox, deer, peregrines, hedgehogs, drunken bees. Never cross a coot, though. COOT WAR!

The exhausting tension of wanting to be online because you care about the world and want to stay alert and informed but you also don't want to melt your brain and become a complete weirdo to your friends...

Again: Ta-Nehisi Coates was not wrong - people who do not draw a line at genocide, will not draw a line at democracy. They are extremists by their nature.

Hey remember Shinzo Abe

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier