ask not for whom the soulja boy supermans; he supermans for thee

bedsheet sign on a frat house in auburn: BEAR BRYANT IS IN THE FILES

mornin’, tech fans. i got a deal for ya m.youtube.com/watch?v=rfel...

I’m an SEC partisan, obvs, but any SEC fan caping up for Texas to get a playoff bid just for the sake of conference prestige is a mewling sitzpinkler unworthy of my respect

LIFE IS SHORT STEAL A PYLON LOL

MICHAEL FRANCIS BOBO EXPLAIN YOURSELF

Hands 2 Da Face by Ca$h Jone$ has to be an album title at some point

if I’m Kiffin, I tell LSU “just hang on, I’ll coach through the playoffs and then I’m yours.” then once the playoffs are over, I’m like “sorry I’ve had a change of heart I just love the Sip too much.” now i’ve fucked over an annual rival, who’s stuck hiring their 3rd or 4th choice late in the cycle

*that’s* the Egg Bowl we know and love

The guy shot two random people with a gun, I don't think you can say he wasn't assimilating into our culture

Abraham Lincoln, 1855. www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/spee...

I have a theory that Kirby Smart and Brent Key’s headsets are actually connected to each other during Georgia vs Ga Tech games and this is what it sounds like.

STATUS: pie

the eggs are what help create a nice crust on top once they’re baked, like so

Eli Drinkwitz making $11 million a year is really unbelievable. Good coach but the whole athletic administrator class needs to find God

I'll be back for the brisket (tragedy) reveal but we have some folks coming over and I'm gonna be present for a bit: Love y'all. This is the greatest holiday of the year. It forces us to contemplate gratitude, then we eat as much as we can and watch football.

the cheese grits have been concocted. the oven is preheated. let’s fucking go

my dream hosting duo for the macy's parade: tracy morgan and maria bamford

Missing Senator Blutarsky’s posts especially today.

[BOMP BA DOMP DOMP] JOE FRIDAY (V/O): Tuesday, April 23. A sunny day in Los Angeles, but a dark day for Brazzano’s Deli on Sepulveda, target of a daring heist last night. Prosciutto, gone. Capocollo, gone. Not even a stray pistachio from the mortadella. Just the kind of case I was born to solve.

“Juanita,” Underworld/Second Toughest in the Infants “Zoo Station,” U2/Achtung Baby “Devil’s Haircut,” Beck/Odelay “One More Chance,” Pet Shop Boys/Actually “Only Shallow,” My Bloody Valentine/Loveless

@edsbs.bsky.social @hollyanderson.bsky.social @celebrityhottub.bsky.social @jasonkirk.fyi Help please

anyone who says “Happy Hondadays” is part of the war on Chryslers

I cannot stop laughing. This is so indicative of what's wrong with these AI people and how they view art He ran into a wall where the "make art" button wasn't satisfying because it wasn't actually making good enough art, and instead of trying new things he just requests a stronger button

curious as to whether "I could've mentioned heinous shit like this back when you, the reader, could've done something about it, but chose not to" writers like Lizza and Maggie Haberman feel any sort of regret for their (in)actions or they just expect to be heralded as brave truth-tellers regardless

everybody considers "don't fear the reaper" to be the ne plus ultra of cowbell usage in rock music but the replacements' "alex chilton" at the very least has to be in the conversation

I think we can safely say that the Leavitt's brother called ICE on his ex, the mother of his child, and I have to say: I have no desire to respect, find common ground or share the country with these monsters.

0.2% growth in productivity over five years from "AI". That's your revolution, lads, really? The sort of blip that could be reversed by a particularly rainy bank holiday.

one of the silver linings, if you can call it that, of the trump era is that a lot of the people you *suspected* of being racist assholes are saving you a lot of trouble and just straight up confirming it.

I think Pecan Pie is one of those things that is divisive now because it’s just a blob of sugar with nuts on it but to someone 150 years ago who ate shoes it was probably like having 12 orgasms at once

My entire timeline is just pie-based arguments and soliloquies. This feels right. This feels like home.

man, the UK was tiptoeing coyly around “complete collapse” for 50 years or so, but now they’re just speedrunning that shit

just saw the Most Nissan Altima Ever: dent in the bumper and *both* tires on the driver’s side were limited-service spares

in a chaotic time when down is up and truth often seems indistinguishable from lies, Brian Phillips remains Coverage You Can Count On

one thing that drives me nuts at least 2 or 3 times a week is when I see the same word in several different NYT crosswords but then I try to use it in Spelling Bee and it’s like “huh wha never heard of it”

"If your country opens a Department of War and closes the Department of Education then you live in a shithole." -𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝟿𝟾%

Smugly pointing out that your opponent’s dozens of military medals are out of order is one of the weakest dunk attempts I’ve ever seen. Basically slamming the ball into the bottom of the rim

*howling* at the insinuation that alan dershowitz, who has spent the last decade whining that his former friends in the hamptons and martha’s vineyard don’t want to hang out with him anymore, is america’s avatar of the common man

you fire right back at them and you FIRE RIGHT AWAY.

this is more a 30 for 30 than a Ken Burns joint, but when the hell is someone gonna make a doc about the 2005 Tulane football team

Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen

Brian Schottenheimer leading a furious comeback against the Philly defense just feels like he’s fucking Georgia all over again

Twitter Conservatives finding out all the hot MAGA mom accounts they've been gooning to are actually run by men in developing nations

☠️☠️☠️☠️

☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ FLORIDA PULLED AN ELEVENER ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。。☆ ☆。★。 ☆ ★

don’t feel bad, techies, pitt might try to on-side it here, you never know