Discovered there is a subset of weather forecasting called the *blight forecast*. It's simply predicting how likely your outdoor-grown tomatoes could be attacked by spores, but I love the Elden Ring-ass name.

Novel planning afternoon. So yeah, not redrafting existing stuff like I desperately need to, just lying on the office sofa and thinking up silly plots about skeletons.

"STOP GREETING DOGS LIKE THIS" Um, okay random Instagram account.

Planning to watch a load of problematic trash tonight as usual. No, not eurovision!!!

Watching the terrifying clouds rolling in today reminds me of the old Armstrong and Miller sketch www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNdr...

Hailstorms?! But... my chard!!!

Playing a game called Everything is Crab. I just got an achievement for receiving more damage from myself than from any enemies during the run. Expert gamer.

And so it begins

Trashy fantasy film Eyes of the Serpent tonight, lads. Campy queens, cocky heroes going tops off, the woods, nudity, etc etc. Of course its great.

Doing well on the blood pressure front lads, from February's 131/89 average (just in the red) I'm now down to 118/79 (just in the green), without meds or owt.

It’s Sid James’ birthday. Here’s a photo that is the 70s in distilled essence.

Yes yes all the racist new councillors, but take heart that in a few weeks time most of them will have resigned or been kicked out, or be found to be fictitious or having died three years ago

Just learnt Compo had a last name in Last of the Summer Wine, it honestly never occurred to me before, just thought of him as like Madonna, or Prince.

Okay let me summarise the English voter ID discourse for everyone not resident here: For literally centuries: no voter ID required The Tories, a couple years ago: “voter ID is now mandatory! We are only accepting forms of ID statistically carried mostly by old white wealthy citizen men”

Delightful

Judging by the endless emails I get, Halifax is absolutely, unshakeably CONVINCED I have a load of secret credit cards full of debt with some other providers that I'm rudely not transferring over. Stop emailing me Howard!!!

At a very weird part of Stargate Atlantis where Skinner from the X files is chatting with the Doctor from Voyager, meanwhile Tucker from Enterprise is an amnesiac ex-wraith

lolled

If your business has a website, you may want to have an app developed. Here’s a quick guide on how to make that decision: Does your website function? If the answer is yes, don’t release an app. If the answer is no, fix your website and don’t release an app.

Watching Sex and Zen from 1991. Turns out it's a sex comedy, almost a Confessions Of... film, but it's getting weird fast. Currently the hero is having an operation to have a horse dick transplanted onto him, but the surgeon is drunk and the severed dick just almost stabbed someone

Finished up The Chair Company the other day and now I'm getting ads on insta for office chairs. No way I'm falling for THAT!!!

Englishly tops off in the garden, constantly moving the chair slowly down the patio to stay in the meagre bit of sun, ignoring the wind whistling through my chest hair

I'm afraid I'll have to get the silly birdwatching game store.steampowered.com/app/3618030/...

Five day weekend, lads. Tried sitting outside in the sun, but it's windy once again! I swear it never used to be so windy most of the time, but apparently we are wind people now. WIND.

Viz's the Drunken Bakers, but it's MPs

My doctors is good but just TRY to find the actual regular phone number on the website to call for a simple appointment, my god

In my "lavishly presented 10-disc boxset of low-budget trashy films" era www.powerhousefilms.co.uk/collections/...

I have started hardening off. No you silly goose, I'm talking about my nasturtiums!!!

Have had dreadful digital radio coverage recently, thought it was the new radio, but apparently it's because the weather is TOO NICE. Apparently radio is spread by the wind now OR SOMETHING.

Happy St George’s Day 🙏🏼❤️

I shall not be fact checking this.

Looney Tunes Characters: openly at war with their own creators/owners since forever

Feels like I've been living in my new house for like a year, worked it out earlier and it's only been 4 months. Time really stretches when things happen!

we all know I have no life, so:

Playing Dave the Diver and it just fully turned into Balatro, wtf

The PC DOS version of 'Allo 'Allo! Computer Fun! may have been released, but no copy had ever surfaced. Until now. Preserved from original master disks for the first time from Games That Weren't: www.gamesthatwerent.com/2026/04/allo...

Insta reels captioned STOP DOING THIS and there's a man pointing at something then wagging his finger - jail.

Watching Roger Corman's Creature from the Haunted Sea. I groaned when it came out the film watching randomiser, it's early 60s and b&w, but turns out its a lot of fun! A kind of creature feature meets film noir with goofy jokes.

Stuart Maconies Funk and Soul Show?1

Reading about old BBC Micro games earlier - turns out in the game Deathstar, the terrifying laughter sample was actually newsreader Kenneth Kendal saying the letter R over and over.

Silly addendum to this is that the buns are also askew the burger photos everywhere else, but it's not as noticeable because the camera angle compensates.

Has bluesky been vibe coded today or what.

Ok let's pretend I never watched the Legend of Zelda cartoon, now watching a proper film. The Last Sentinel (2009), with Don Wilson, Katee Sackhoff and Keith David. What can go wrong

Watching randomly picked trash films, how unlike me! But got dealt a curveball for the first film, which is actually an hour long VHS of episodes of the terrid Legend of Zelda cartoon with a super-obnoxious Link. It's, er

Thanks to the Star Wars Christmas Album and the Hour of Crap, I am currently learning what you can get a wookie for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb)

The episode of TOTP currently on BBC4 is from my university era so of course it's ace. Also Texas' Summer Son is still a banger.

A dog barked outside and my internet dipped briefly. COINCIDENCE???