mad libs ass timeline

I am escorting the Crespo-Gonzalez family, including their seven year old daughter, back to Oregon now. Out of respect for the family, additional information is not being shared at this time.

Contrary to long-held claims made by an infamous Interstate 82 billboard, geographic experts at the prestigious Center for Obvious Studies shocked the world today when they announced there are actually exactly zero similarities between Palm Springs, Calif. and Yakima, Wash.

one of the greatest human triumphs of my lifetime is the relentless, unceasing, heroic effort by DECADES' worth of doctors and scientists to find a cure for a disease much of the world didn't take seriously for years because it predominantly affected a community they thought kinda deserved it

BREAKING NEWS: ELON MUSK TO FOCUS ON MARSHMALLOW FARM INSTEAD OF GUMDROP CITY www.wsj.com/science/spac...

You know, there’s a German word “backpfifengesicht” or “a face badly in need of a punch” and there needs to be a Vancean equivalent for “a dweeb badly in need of a wedgie”

✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻

Wow all these kids in *checks notes* some of the most highly sought-after internships with *flips page* the most rigorous vetting processes imaginable sure are out of pocket lately

A perfect mom-and-pop affordable housing provider 🤗 story in 3 images

"They bought or inherited aging apartment buildings, hoping to bring home a little extra cash" ... bought, or inherited, whole ass apartment buildings

#Minneapolis #Signalboost of the day: the TC Pride Cultural Center could use both in kind and cash donations for their pantry. There are also Pride Rebel Loon shirts in @twincitiespride.bsky.social’s shop tcpride.harnessgiving.org/campaigns/20... & tcpride.square.site/product/prid...

Imagine what American music would look like if blues musicians had instead of learning how to play blues, improving at their craft with each song, pulled a lever on a machine owned and controlled by Buford Q Sexpervert Esquire the Third

Mongolia and Haiti correctly identified that the Winter Olympics are primarily a chance to design baller cold weather uniforms

Man, I was going to say the echidna, but that golden snake sounds rad as hell and I want to change my answer

you know it's bad when they would rather us think that a rando staffer has unfettered access to the social media accounts of the President of the United States, where we also now know that world leaders direct message him

we’re not doing this under Woke 2 sorry not sorry

So basically all the Dems have learned from the first 5 weeks of 2026 is “you can say fuck and they’ll clap”

Jesus fucking Christ WHO IS RUNNING THIS CLOWN SHOW

This is really crucial in understanding today's right wing: it is an arena in which you can get attention, and become famous, without any skill or insight or knowledge. All you have to do is say outrageous shit. So it's become a collection bin for all these failed, flailing narcissists.

Vice President JD Vance gets roundly booed at the opening ceremony of the Milano-Cortina 2026 Olympics. "Those are a lot of boos for him, whistling jeering," says the presenter. US athletes receive a warm welcome from fans, though.

NEW: lawmakers in new york rolled out a proposed data center moratorium bill today, making NY at least the sixth state to introduce legislation pausing data center development in the past few *weeks*:

For freedom, for democracy, for the future of peace on the globe You must boo JD Vance

fun little announcement-- if you get something from the folks at fangamer they might include a small print of this as one of their artist cards

Your quarterly reminder to donate platelets if possible ( photo pre-tube for the blood-triggered). 2 hours where you don’t have to take annoying phone calls or meetings and no one can get mad at you!

the idea of epstein files as a moral panic is absurd but i do think the fact that all this is getting aired out and yet there seems to be little in the way of reprocussions for these folks...that's probably not good!

can't help but think there is probably a corrosive effect of having sex trafficker-elite emails unveiled for months on end as one of the biggest cultural/news stories of the last year— unearthing an inexcusable moral rot in the upper echelons of power—but without any real accountability/justice

We've normalized it all. We normalized kiddie rape with the Epstein Files. No one is being punished. We're normalizing the Gestapo and concentration camps. We talk about bodycams for murderers and less money for kid prisons. We re-elected the guy who did J6. 2009 is happening with crypto now.

Hey so trumprx actually went live and it's got the same cost savings as goodrx. Exactly the same. However it's worse because it doesn't include generics. Generic protonix is about $6. This literally does nothing. What a joke.

1. It was not an accident. 2. It was not a staffer. 3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia. 4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares. 5. His base agrees with him. 6. He will do it again. 7. No one in power will hold him accountable.

“Put simply, the remote agent may not control the steering wheel, but they still make major decisions on where the vehicle navigates next.”

Torture. What you're describing is torture.

“Is the president of the United States deliberately signal-boosting racist AI slop or is he just flinging random crap out into the world with no knowledge of its content” is not a hair I can see any purpose in splitting.

This is an increasing crisis across the country and a predictable result of "tough on crime" policies. We stigmatize and underpay public defenders, we stigmatize and underfund legal aid, and then just expect everything will somehow work out anyway. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

The public made noise for Liam Ramos and it got him released from Dilley. Now we must make noise for 7 year old Diana Crespo. Her parents were taking her for emergency medical care when ICE grabbed them, and she’s rotting in the camp sick and exposed to measles. Get them out!

I’m not opposed to age limits, but these interventions to actually change the way social media platforms work will be far more impactful than simply making it harder for younger users to get online.

"The “anti-woke” movement was not a genteel intellectual inquiry, made by disinterested parties who cared deeply about free speech. It is a social circle of powerful people who feel threatened by #MeToo." www.theverge.com/tech/874721/...

They’re trying to run the Kilmar Abrego Garcia playbook with a five year old boy in a bunny hat because nobody can find peace if they embarrass the Trump administration publicly. Normal people didn’t like it with Garcia and they really aren’t going to like it for Liam.

fuck’s sake

This skeet is a poem

It's obviously bullshit and it's obviously meant to put the creative output of oppressed people onto a fragile medium that the powerful can toss into the void whenever they want, leaving behind a gaping cultural void *that was never actually possible* until now.

The thing about saying that genAI will enable the marginalized to create art is that not only is it not true, literally just fucking look at art and music and writing, but it is saying that a handful of rich pedophiles should be allowed to control whether marginalized people can produce art.

Failing to close Guantanamo Bay and prosecute everyone responsible for its continued operation paved the way for this

NEW: 150 days of Kavanaugh stops, and it just keeps getting worse. Kavanaugh stops would always be bad. As a tool in the Trump administration's authoritarianism arsenal, they are worse. The consequences are everywhere. This evening, at Law Dork:

Don’t threaten me with a good time

paragraph 48: "In Mr. Trump’s second term, Ms. Britt has voted in line with the president 100 percent of the time."

Shrek would never

Epstein had many known connections to Silicon Valley CEOs, but less known was how he made money from those relationships. We did a deep dive into how he got dealflow in Silicon Valley, giving him shots to invest in Coinbase, Palantir, SpaceX and other companies. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/05/b...

The comms rep just had no ability to comprehend that AI takes in the information that already exists in the world and repackages it. Our reporting had yet to be published and therefore wasn't out in the world hadn't been ingested by any chatbot. And they just... believed the chatbot.