This honestly means more to me than a Pulitzer.

"Remember, grandma wants you to BUCK UP and buy MILLER LITE because you're a TINY LITTLE WEAK MAN if you BUY any other BEER." "Gosh, that's exactly what she would have said."

new iOS update is sleek and also defaults in Music to “you must want songs transition as they would on a dance floor.” so many people will wonder why they can’t just listen to an album. Apps > Music > Song Transitions > toggle off.

The way tech companies constantly do stuff that nobody asked for really tells you a lot about their bigger ideology. They tell themselves that you will like it over time. What they mean is you’ll learn to endure it, or you’ll give up. quality of UI is not actually anywhere on their radar

"the attempted patriarchal mass murder of this woman's career and her personhood is a freaksome lynching the likes of which we will look back upon with a dazed compunction"??? why does this story make everyone take fistfuls of overwrought tortured prose pills??

the idea that the freedom of oppressed people is a treat given to them by the powerful is a lie that the powerful tell to make themselves feel better and to make you feel weak Black people have rights in the US because they and their allies fought for those rights and won them

can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot

Absolutely we do not need to do that. This homeless encampment destroying transphobic asshole. California Uber Allies ass dipshit.

prompt for rubes, honestly. it's *all* poetry, you've just been learning to call it by other names. no tea! no shade! no pink lemonade!

How ’bout some coffee? Don’t mind if I do. Take a little ride on my donkey, I love that donkey. Hell, I love everybody.

But why were they on his property, he asked.

I crack the other egg. Surely we have diminished one another. (Ray Carver)

See, this is why I'll never be a good theologer like these folks. I, an atheist, read that story and thought "Oh, Jesus understood that people are more important than the law, a thing that is consistent with everything else he says." I'm so dumb. I should have gone to Bloodthirsty Monster Seminary.

Thread. Thread. THREAD NOW.

This came to me in a dream

there may be no larger perceptive gap on the "feeling cool" / "looking cool" axis than riding on a fast bike. nevertheless here is photographic evidence that I have once again ridden and survived the Seagull Century, Maryland's finest long ride

Just quote tweeting crimes out to TPUSA idiot. If they promise to impeach and imprison all of these people, vote for them next year. If they don't, find someone who will and get them to run.

Incredible review.

If he's showing up, you know the next scene is gonna be great.

Not sure if you would like the best subscription you'll ever own, because this world is not built to keep people alive, and yet we must struggle through? Here's your chance.

A kindly benefactor donated 3 Hell World subscriptions for people who read it but can't afford a paid sub. DM if you want one.

This is advocating for murder. That's it. I don't care how many drugs or not were pretend on the boat or not, it's murder when you kill people.

Hey all, The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships. Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits. You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.

this is going to be so easy, such a lay up

I've got a piece up today at @lukeoneil47.bsky.social's Welcome to Hell World. Check it out: www.welcometohellworld.com/a-coordinate...

The way Parker laid this timeline out—it’s so clear what has been ramping up, even if some of these appeared to be isolated events at the time.

on a related note, I'd love any recommendations for Zagreb (less necessary, thanks to my hosts), Graz, or Vienna. Also I guess for breakfast at the Munich airport.

So the GOP winning this seat by around 3 points isn't so much a canary in the coal mine as it is everyone in the mine, human and bird, is dead and reanimating as ravenous undead. For context, the GOP won the 2024 generic vote by 2.7 points and the 2018 'Blue Wave' margin was 8.4 points.

We must stop tinkering around the edges of a broken healthcare system. Yes, let's extend the ACA tax credits to prevent a huge spike in healthcare costs for millions. Then, let's finally create a system that puts your health over corporate profits. We need Medicare for All.

Glad to get this quote in

Everyone is getting upset about the data centers. They pollute a lot and use a lot of energy and will eventually be very ugly/huge vacant buildings. And I understand being mad about that. Until you consider the state of the lazer tag industry at this moment, and how much help that sector needs.

Mountain Goats for All.

Scholar of the far right here. It means ONLY ONE THING - the creation of a white ethnostate by the removal or extermination of non-whites. THAT IS WHAT IT MEANS.

i know WHY this is but that just makes it even more of a kick in the pants lmao

thomas has talked me into watching red october, which i’ve never seen bc why would i want to watch that he told me it stars “murderbot’s father” and tim curry i know sean connery has the world’s worst accent in it

Sorry, AI, my writing process does not start with me giving a machine a prompt. It begins with me staring off into space and daydreaming, and that's the way it's going to stay.

it's that time of year where i can whip out this, the craziest ad of all time. what happens at the "climax" is so funny—i don't understand how the actor at that moment could have been directed sincerely by any person. other than maybe some total saboteur tim robinson type. youtu.be/PDonPiUV07E?...

This is unbecoming of a mayor to be honest. He should not be doing photo ops with “Catholic” Charities he should be doing actual New York mayor elect work like further militarizing the police in Queen or getting blackmailed by Tom Homan on live tv

Remember that little kid whose grandpa had a diabetic crisis on the highway who took over driving (truck + boat trailer) and pulled over to safety? Asked how he would advise someone in an emergency, he said, “Stay calm and try to do your best.” That’s the greatest advice anyone has on any topic

Good morning and happy Thanksgiving to this boy, and to all of you

Welcome to the Jihad, Pope Leo!

everyone knows the number one quality of rigorous, responsible journalism is waiting months and months to reveal urgently newsworthy information until it can cause the most harm in your personal vendettas

Keep the vision board simple and fun.

Inbox: The independent union at Blue Bottle Coffee, @bbiunion.bsky.social, is on strike. “As of today, we have gone out on the picket line to combat Blue Bottle's bad faith bargaining and ensure fair wages and protections for baristas.”

Highly recommend this piece by @gonebabygone.bsky.social. It's free to read but would be cool if you could chip in for a subscription. Here's a deal for just 86 cents a week! www.welcometohellworld.com/7-years-of-h...