like the man said, hypocrisy is not some human foible; it is the essence of our predicament. show me a hypocritical dog.

guards! remove this quadragenarian from my sight

I'm not joking when I say mRNA technology is more important than "AI" and it's a tragedy we're throwing billions into one while our government is aggressively defunding the other.

when none of the other characters had compassion for house and nobody euthanized house in the pilot episode of "house, m.d."

the weakness of all the weak bits you saw today comparing it to air travel serves the same function as the ghoulishness of the challenger jokes: insulting the meat. bad jokes aren't often seen as civic virtue but it's impossible to have a democracy without the irresistible leveling urge they reveal.

this court sentences you to explore a theme

you're doing dear diary shit with Claude I'm bolting my microplane to a sawzall and finally getting "enough parmesan"

hard to imagine a greater honor than Tár losing every category to eeaao. up there with jk rowling calling you a traitor to the human race

buy once cry once should be on all four sides of the Washington monument

content warning: self harm

why are they trying to make ragebait with the consent manufacturer? did the lose the manual or

pressing the heels of your palms into your eyeballs to see only the seeing side of sight is all fun and games until the zigzag man shows up

The only halloween movie we watch in this house is Ordet.

meeting my handler at the renal pelvis of the bulgakov statue in the international kidney museum

the two O's in goop indicate that gwyneth paltrow has murdered human beings to advance the interests of the United Kingdom

in societies with free speech, real news is always an unspoken subtext. the newsworthy part of this 20-year-old story is not that the president is a pedophile. the news is that his unprecedented immunity to political gravity has secretly been decaying.

post-scarcity economists fail to consider that gambling addicts only have 20 fingers and toes to cut off

dreamed Frasier was Brad Pitt in Fury and Niles named the tank Jerry Cruncher

"Modernity and the Holocaust" p. 17, if anyone else was curious about this exceptional book. The full context is even more frightening:

Dear God, please bless Mom and Dad and Alfred Hitchcock and NIH and cunt and the Szechuan peppercorn. sincerely yours, Nick (BP 117/76, knock wood)

I'm not complaining, I'm just reminding you that I'm not complaining

once we were a country that did businessmen plots

yeah gimme one Special Providence and ummmmmm the 10 megaton asteroid too

each night I feed my terra cotta Jimmy Carter a thimble of blood and a spoonful of milk and plead for redress to the unbearable juicelessness of American cinema

o heavenly father is it true that when you created willem dafoe you made christopher walken again but took away all shame at masturbation?

"Memories come like the Three Stooges. They tumble past the threshold. They expend their dignity in bickering over who was the first through. They eat up their vividness in the battle for pride of place among brothers." —W.G. Sebald

unnumberable horny new yorkers hiding the deadly gyllenhaal like he's harriet tubman

—What kind of wine would you like? —Black.

You have reached the Paul Schrader hotline. Please listen closely as our menu options have changed: —For European Union Frasier, press 1 —For MIDI jazz expo '93, press 2 —For surgeon with a secret, press 3 —For Powerball janitor, press 4

my dream is simple... i want the mars rover to stumble on an eyeless greek bronze head and then watch the evil federal government 180 like the nazgul when someone puts on the ring

the evolutionary advantage of migraine is that you can pretend to have one and wriggle out of things you don't want to do

adulthood begins the year you'll vote for whoever bans phillips heads

english..... what a language

Chuck Wetnurse

my body is a temple bureaucracy

Editor Discovering Mistake Mirko Basaldella bronze 1956 Editor Correcting Mistake Mirko Basaldella bronze 1956

look I know nobody wants to hear this, but you do not have a "cockroach problem" you have a spider deficiency