Reskeet = endorsement

Winner gets the colours and the phoenix. Think of the drama!!

I know #TheHundred chat will get me shouted at, but it's a bit weird that the Leeds team now play in orange and have a phoenix as their emblem when the Birmingham team already play in orange and are called the Phoenix 🏏

we talk a lot about how this administration is Very Online and one of the things that comes with that is a complete inability to understand their opposition - who they are, what they're motivated by, and how they might respond to the administration's actions it's why they're failing

A mental image that made me actually laugh out loud

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

Jim Nantz just said "This country, dealing with this monster" then paused for a really long time and I thought we were about to get a sensational anti-ICE declaration

The fact that every right winger with influence screams "who is paying for all of this" tells you exactly how awash in cash they all are, and how much they rely on that to keep their movement afloat.

An egg yolk being poached: motherfucker if you look at me sideways I swear to god I will split open like damp tissue paper try me An egg yolk being beaten into flour: come on pussy, bring that whisk on, I will not break, there's fuck all you can do about it, try harder you wet bitch

Perhaps the perfect example was last May, when Starmer told the papers with liberal readerships that he regretted quoting Enoch Powell, and told the papers with conservative readers that he was proud of quoting Enoch Powell. And seemed to genuinely believe people would not see both.

if you’re tired of users telling you to use alt text, JUST FUCKING DO IT. the app automatically detects text on mobile. it’s literally a copy/paste job. communication is a two-way street. some people don’t use their eyes for that. it’s not a big deal. don’t be a dick.

"But women can have short hair and still look feminine" Yes, of course they can, but *I* can't

Sitting myself down to have a stern talk with myself that long hair is my only feminine feature

MOVIE FACT: Elijah Wood's character in Return of The King was named "Frodo Baggins", a subtle reference to a character with the same name also played by Wood in one of director Peter Jackson's earlier films

I just think it's ironic that they're called Oracle yet can't see what's comi— [I am yoiked off stage by a comically large hook]

The central heating era was very short – I recently moved to a house without and realised that already I would be insane to get it installed now

*Dropping a reference picture of a sow, deliberately talking loudly enough to be overheard* I'm not a coward like some people

because Northrop presented the tongue as proof, leading to his reward of land. A rival hunter took the boar's head, but Northrop proved his kill by presenting the missing tongue to the Lord of the Manor, John of Gaunt, securing his rightful reward #Folklore #Yorkshire #Bradford #Yorkshire

A touch of folklore for a Saturday afternoon. The Bradford Boar story is a local legend about a giant, ferocious boar terrorising 14th-century town. Its slaying by a man named Northrop became a symbol for Bradford depicted on its crest without a tongue 1/2

in fact give me a sidescrolling fighter where you are fighting through the marginalia on medieval manuscripts.

No, although there's also no biblical basis for being in sola scriptura

'GOD WANTS and loves me as I am, and had never called me to an impossible task.' Kai from Open Table Salford reflects on God’s unconditional love and recognition, belonging and redemption, in our #ThisIsMyStory podcast. READ/LISTEN: bit.ly/otnCalledByName

INT. Deep in a government building in Beijing. Two CPC officials are having a furious argument in Mandarin. It is not subtitled and the only words intelligible to speakers of only English are "bit" and "Jazz Pomegranate"

This is a dangerous digital artefact

And you didn't even have to change your profile name to 'high femme transmedicalist mean girl' and post a bunch of takes that make people go "why the fuck am I followi— oh, it's Jazz"

Why am I following th— oh it's Jazz should be the site's strapline at this point

Scrabbling to figure out which Premier League manager has the most chaser vibes

Fuck me sideways, is it *still* January?!

Incredible, I had no knowledge of this Turkish idiot when I started calling Streeting Little Pudding Boy

"I didn't vote for him" Don't care, get rid of him "I'm in danger too" Don't care, get rid of him "Europeans did bad stuff" Don't care, get rid of him

Gosh, Americans are very upset that they're currently unpopular with people in the countries their country wants to have a war with

Attn news commentators: Trump saying he could use force to obtain Greenland but won’t is not Trump saying he won’t use force to obtain Greenland. It is Trump using force as a threat to obtain Greenland. That is why he mentions it.

tiny Denmark may have been overwhelmed by the Wehrmacht in under 6 hours in 1940, but the Danish Resistance heroically saved over 90% of Denmark's Jews, and that is a greater victory than any this monster will ever know

They decided it was all fine and dandy and now they're going to go to war with NATO

Thinking maybe that's the last thing that should be happening

Might become a horse. For the bit.

Lobby Journo Challenge: put half as much energy into asking Jolly Old Nigel about his massive 17 Rule Breach 'whoopsiedaisy' as you do asking the few remaining non-transphobic MPs what girls are.

This starts of funny then gradually becomes really impressive then somehow shifts into genuinely haunting. What a talent.

By all means ask yourself whether the courtiers whose fortune depends on the favour of the mad king might dethrone him, but only if you're ready to consider what the answer is if you believe they would not

A reminder that you can, and should, turn on the setting (in your settings, natch) that forces you to use ALT text on photos. It's under Settings / Accessibility --

The fact that there was a successful race driver called Dick Trickle, and everyone just accepted that and didn't find it funny, is wild.

Yeah, but it's nice for Leeds to feel included

, to begin with

I don't care what they do in private, I just don't think they should make the rest of us participate in their fetish, y'know?

with our new go live feature you can finally go live. you are free

This was about a different Shapiro from the most recent Shapiro I erroneously took for Ben

Not for nothing but Anne Boleyn would also think that someone with a penis portraying her was the most natural thing possible

"Surely you have inherited an estate." "I have, but how did you know my name was Shirley?" — Surely

And thou mayest aske thyself, 'How do Ich werke thys?' And thou mayest aske thyself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?' And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my beautiful castle!' And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my swift goshawk!'