One of my coworkers followed her and text me like "why does she follow you bro? Can you introduce me." Im funny from time to time, genuine and am actually respectfully platonic to women friends.... and hell no nigga tf.

My friend is an ig baddie and I completely forgot. My homegirl got 65k followers and I didn't notice at all lmao.

Including cancer research for kids. Total dirt bags.

Nigga said coochie mukbang

Men with no beards who got a strong jawline look like Handsome Squidward to me 😂

Howd we do?

That just made me realize something. Gen X was the first generation where white people were actually responsible for rearing their own children en masse and as soon as their children were old enough we started getting shit like school shootings.

Every ICE officer who has broken the law should be arrested, tried, and imprisoned for their crimes.

The most probable result of the SAVE Act's passage:

Good morning

Humanity is a hive mind like mushrooms that upon gaining sentience couldn't reconcile with the fact we are all one. So we created individualism.

Happy Black History Month 🙂

One of the best parts of the SOTU. Classic.

My tattoo itching is driving me fucking crazy

Went for a psychological evaluation today. I told the truth.... the psychotherapist was visibly saddened and told me she wanted to hug me. (I made her aware I can see shes sad). My Hug dealer streak continues. I also promised her id go to CBT after the settlement is done.

Do you know how loud a fart gotta be for a person to hear it on the other side of the wall? That college student likely shit himself and im scared to go next door to the student lounge.

AMERICA IS SO FKED! 👊🤬🖕🐷 & GOPedophile Fascists

(cartoon Jonathan Brown) #politics

I be having a good ass productive day then here comes depression like *whispers* "dont you miss you parents? How's mourning alive folk going? You miss what they represent they will hurt you because they are unsealed. Maybe im lying 🤥 go find out tehehe"

Prefoessional headsets. One for the LinkedIn and the other for a passport. My RBF is super saiyan 4 for sure. Photographer asked me if I was ok a few times 😅🤣😂.

Im pleased with my new ink 💉

Breeder

My best friend was dating a woman for 2 weeks only for her to tell him shes married today.... what the whole fuck

Accidentally ordered a large pizza all for myself. Please respect my privacy during this trying time

Say cheese psyduck ☺️

My gap has closed subtly over the last few years(not by choice), but both my dad and maternal grandmother have one so I’ve always had love for it as a feature lol AND it helps me whistle through my teeth🙂‍↕️💅🏽✨

🔻…🔻

I let my outside vernacular slip at work today and met someone (a director) and accidentally called them miss mamas.

Based

OH PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 BREAKING: Rumors are swirling in DC that Bill Clinton will spill the beans on EVERYTHING he knows about Epstein & tRumpstein, leading not only to impeachment, but prosecution!! This might be why tRumpstein is suddenly so nice to the Clintons... 🥲

This pup found a stick shaped like an old timey pipe earlier today and has already solved three mysteries. 13/10

How tf am I supposed to put these on?!

Yes they should.

My favorite part of BHM is all the hotel reaction memes

Been hitting cardio dumb hard the past 2 weeks. Down 10 lbs 👌🏿 (hovering around 240 now) 12.5 miles on the bike in 35 minutes. I'll def hit 230 by valentines day. Working out is an act of self love 🫶🏾

Yes. Next question.

4 Black journalists have been kidnapped by the federal government

🤷🏿‍♂️

Since I quit smoking weed, alot has changed. I have money for tattoos, gadgets and other things to give me some sense of happiness as the American empire burns down around me.