english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.

and yet we clamor for more @jesawyer.bsky.social

The Scottish, 5 minutes before inventing haggis:

literally any subreddit

yooooooo

pictured: a standard combat round for a VtM Toreador

if i take a daily multivitamin, then I'm free to eat good hot crusty bread with fancy salted butter for every meal. that's just common sense.

You know you’re old when the fairly recent videogame you keep meaning to play is suddenly a childhood favorite of adults.

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

shopping bag

The actually worst quality of Gen X and Millennials is this inability to realize that even if something looks like it's made for you, it's not. Stranger Things are in happy meals right now. Mixtape is for someone who is young now. Please just try being normal.

it's amazing how Perfect For Me Mixtape is and yet i have to avoid it like the fucking Chernobyl elephant foot; I've been so fucking moored in this tar pit of despair that anything Future coded is just instant Doom and so my poor addled mind yearns for anything calm, anything that will stop the

Racism is exhausting.

This is who fried the rice.

there should be a friend matching service for lonely nerds that uses which games you've played, how long you've played them for, if you've beaten them, and what you're planning to play next as match criteria.

needed a new license plate frame

I saw this yesterday. I love when words have multiple meanings.

also did you know that if you leave an obituary in your checkout cart on legacy.com for a few days they'll send you a 10% discount coupon and boy howdy does that Say A Thing About Society

nothing like ending an incredibly eh day by finding a smudge of chocolate on my chest (?) under my shirt (??) what in the Willy Wonka poltergeist is this nonsense

how wonderful it is to live on the planet where you can get pierogis

when the thief has the Oratory nonweapon proficiency

quick quick go run down to the lucasfilm at the minimall and pick up another one before the kids come home, they all look the same they'll never know the difference.

[Rokusaburo Michiba intensifies]

turns out if you throw enough 50mg edibles at your thinkerpiece, itll stop generating sad things

you mean people should be SENT to hell for this. set them alight so they properly arrive

I’m looking to expand my portfolio. If you know someone who would like a free custom website design or redesign, DM me or mail [email protected]

whoever is in charge of the android versions of the YouTube app should be beaten with blunt objects until they are completely still. you have no honor and will never know love

this is the only face that my mind immediately conjures up any time i encounter the word looksmaxxing

"I can see you Your clown skin shining in the sun I see you walking real weird And blowing your AWOOGA horn at every one I can tell you, my love for you will still feel wrong After the Bozos of summer have gone" - The Bozos of Summer #WeirdAlWhatIfs

this goes hard as fuck

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

ah April 1st, the worst fucking day on YouTube. i hate this dimwit holiday.

Idris Elba implies the existence of Egoris Elba and Superegoris Elba

me: you can't call a glass of straight vodka a martini a buncha drunks: why not me:

you don't break bread with your enemy. even this diehard agnostic knows that sharing food is sacred and bigotry is evil.

I saw this and now you must too

I just spent a full minute mostly but not entirely certain the Mandalorian’s name isn’t the Mandolinian.

does Grindr survive until the 24th century?

*title card* Presents for Santa: A Peek into the Isolated Life of Mall Santas *intro track: Weird Al, vocalist* All the lonely Santas, Where do they all come from? All the lonely Santas, Where do they all belong? *fade*

Mimi Honqsnu, the sleepiest drag queen and/or roller derbiest? derber? Barbarian on wheels.

if the Lament Configuration was a pez dispenser

when you hit the salvia instead of the sativa