French Open shaping up to be so interesting that when my friend bailed on me for tonight, I was like sick, I can catch up on tennis

Oh my god

They’re playing a montage of Cal during “Baby Got Back,” I’m dying

I def thought “Randy walk-off” right before he hit that

I think of Bull Durham during every mound visit

People are starting the wave I’m gonna cry

Was literally just telling my friends about our special nickname for JP when he does something good

Big Cat threw out the first pitch at the M’s game 😻

Gee I wonder why women and girls are less inclined to use tools that were popularized via their ability to create fake nude photos of women and girls

Good morning to everyone stumbling through 2026

Might just get hotter, stronger, and more bold this summer, as a bit

You can show me all the charts you want saying the economy is fine but if Serpentor is selling his throne because it won't fit into his new studio apartment, shit is not fine

Drinking a beer from Great Notion called Strawberry Shortcake and it’s actually incredible

The Situationship Room.

If Tim Eyman has a million haters, then I am one of them. If he has ten haters, then I am one of them. If he has only one hater, then that is me. If Tim Eyman has no haters, then that means I am no longer on Earth.

1) This is the guy who used a bunch of incorrect quotes in his book because he used AI to do research, 2) there are fewer working writers because of AI.

they should have given it to him

I’m only allowed to shop in this section at Walgreens

lmao

Paying $8 for a fancy drink that it will take me about 8 minutes to drink, this is america, baby

Still doing my spring closet purge and found my shirt from seeing Steely Dan. Becker died three years later 🥲 Always buy the concert ticket imo.

Earth signs looking at this job with immense jealousy

As an anthropologist, I endorse this message!

Cameron Park Zoo in Waco TX has a new black-footed cat kitten (Felis nigripes). It's exploring grass for the 1st time here. This species is the smallest wild cat in Africa, but with the highest hunting success (~60%). They eat 1/6th their body weight in rodents & birds every night.

I would never call a wife “mid“ no matter what her job is

Went to my first derby practice in over a month (it's our off-season) and boy did I need that.

I wonder if they finally realized that if you outsource all your knowledge to another company it means you are in a position to be reliant on that company and companies will always work to maximize their profits

Can we blame AI for why Gmail's spam filtering is much worse these days? (I'm going to regardless.)

dreamed this movie

far be it for me to gas up a billionaire but this is a good fucking opinion and should be the universal Democratic messaging

Got carded in order to sit in the bar area 👶

The Extremely BlueSky replies to this are taking me out

happy memorial day

Called my Mom to tell her I want to do the evening screening of Sheep Detectives because I’m still working on my closet/wardrobe overhaul and she said that works for her because she’s reorganizing her kitchen. Real Earth Sign Memorial Day Weekend behavior. (I’m a Virgo and she’s a Cap.)

They talmbout “it’s raining you still gone bbq?” This bbq grill got a cover… wdym????

A guy I dated last year told me I look like Edie Falco and it's been a day since he said it and I still can't decide how I feel about that. (The comparison, that is.)

Got bored and made 100+ tiny pancakes

social media isn’t supposed to be fun, it’s for dumping intrusive thoughts and having pointless arguments so you don’t do those things in real life

preparing my weekly anecdote to the decadence of a professional class that constantly chases novel gustatory experiences

suggestion for this dude to get better engagement on X: tweet that you want to see Air Bud remade with a chocolate lab

It’s true, I do love being in a bubble that doesn’t produce CSAM and noncon AI porn.

Ciaran Hinds as Julius Caesar in ROME is an all-time great television performance and no one can tell me otherwise 🙂‍↔️

Manhattans when it’s cold out, tequila and soda when it’s warm.

I have apparently accidentally uncovered an issue with the lighting outside each apartment unit in my building, I bet the property management company loves me right now.

I scream, you scream.

🐣 Sat, May 23 Yesterday many golden moments w/whales throughout Puget Sound. The Ts w/new calf, who’s been swimming in echelon w/T124A1 Bonapartes, still in thru evening. Let’s see what magic today. 📽️ Itty bitty cutie w/T124A1 & T124A2s. Saratoga Passage on Thursday by Marilyn Armbruster. #psws

Death, taxes, and Aries men