The SNAP that I need because Walmart doesn't pay me enough to live on and that I am no longer getting because of the shutdown will go so much farther at Walmart this Thanksgiving once I buy the items that aren't in the deal this time

Currently dining on the Rice Krispies of triumph

"Here's the thing" *jazz hands*

On the other hand, spooky neighborhood lurker is probably more my speed as a Halloween idea.

For next Halloween, I'll wear a red flannel shirt and blue jeans and be a werewolf.

(How do you think he does it?) I don't know! (What makes him so good?) Well I have a theory and it is as follows: He ain't got no distractions, can't hear no buzzers and bells...

You can just hit the Like button if you understand a reference someone has made. You don't have to post the gif.

Gonna do some heroin in the bathroom at the Five Points Cafe now. #mariners

Just another day in Socialmedialand.

Oh, was I supposed to wear red today? Huh. Oh well.

@schiff.senate.gov @padilla.senate.gov @replsimon.bsky.social All I want to hear from you is that the president is mentally added and unfit to serve and must be removed. This must be the opposition message if there is to be any opposition at all. bsky.app/profile/acyn...

I think we ought do it once a month, always gets people in a good rowdy mood

Med Bed (Coffee For Your Head)

The new Police Cops

@padilla.senate.gov Are you looking for a good message right now? bsky.app/profile/inte...

It's just 100% obvious by now that the media loved Charlie Kirk and wished they could say what he said.

Honestly right now I'm just feeling like the Grim Reaper at the arcade claw machine in that comic.

You're hearing it more and more (because Trump is dying)

I do think that we have a responsibility to pile on saying he’s dead whenever he disappears for a couple days so they are forced to roll him out like this when he obviously should be resting

Well, I was in a pretty decent mood today and then I had to click on the Gavin Newsom button on the sidebar.

Every day the dems don't bring forward articles to impeach is another day they are complicit and the legitimacy of the federal government erodes

@markmcconville.bsky.social foiaball.beehiiv.com/p/mascot-cod...

Ozzy Osbourne visited my magic shop. He said he'd like to buy some stink bombs. How many? All of them. I had to go through drawers finding every last one. He bought 900 of them. To sign the credit card slip I handed him a shock pen, which he thought was hilarious and bought that too. RIP

We are the Village Green Endoplasmic Reticulum God save Mummenschanz, Guy Fieri and Bibendum

Dude has to type "Russia" three times with Oxford commas just for the sake of the reference to a 50-year old sitcom

Every public figure who is opposing Zohran Mamdani is on the Epstein flight logs. I think that's fair to say.

Hens love roosters Geese love ganders Everyone else loves Brad Lander

I’m tired of being lectured on what it takes to win elections by people who haven’t been, in fact, winning the most important elections of my lifetime. I do not want to hear from these dinosaurs anymore

Explain your @ I'm from Idaho, which as you may have heard, is famous for its potatoes. The Russet Burbank is the most widely grown variety of potato in North America, and I always thought it sounded like the name of some mid-century literature character.

We had the better parade. #NoKings

You have no obligation to defend or explain the behavior of random street protesters. We have a lawless government that is flagrantly violating its legal, moral, even philosophical obligations to us. Everything else is secondary

Hey guys, was out working on the coast today. Did I miss anything?

centrism means focusing on the good things bad people do and the bad things good people do

Tariffs aren't necessarily bad when they're used in a targeted fashion and with some thought behind them. Instead of imposing blanket tariffs or 150% on China, we should be putting 10,000% tariffs on fireworks.

Don't mind me, just contributing to the ratio on this shit-ass thread

Found one of these in the office, and oh my god you guys, I'd been missing out

Please read. We hoped that one of the many members of the Bluesky community from Gaza could be first to share this letter, but we were worried that their account would get taken down if they did. This letter is for @moderation.bsky.app, Bluesky leadership, and the wider community here. Thanks!

All the characters from the Black Hole Sun video escaped and now have six-figure sinecure jobs in conservative politics. And I think that's really nice.

Seeing Homer Simpson fall down Springfield Gorge (twice) when it first aired very nearly killed me. I also remember the first time I saw this in 2007 or 2008: eeuauaughhhuauaahh.ytmnd.com

These mass actions are performative, yes, and actually THAT IS THE POINT: performing dissent loudly and at a scale that makes dissent bans unenforceable. It discourages dissent bans. They look weak if they ban protest then can't arrest all the protesters.

Choice signs from the Oakland protest today

Our protests are way bigger, way better, ergo we should be in charge. Isn't that democracy?

What exactly am I supposed to like about America that makes it so damn important after this anyway? We’re not very democratic, our policies suck, we treat people like shit, we’re poorer and sicker than the competition. Is this like a Cowboys thing we’re I’m a fan because we were cool in the 90s?

We were all so hopeful when Trump caught covid in 2020, but then it just teamed up with tertiary syphilis and mutated into a sort of zombie virus.

I can’t stand Jethro Tull, and I still laughed like a hyena.

"The email address you have entered is not a valid email address" Well no shit I literally just started typing you rude asshole

I have been softening on many of my teenage snotty music takes, but a few years ago I heard "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows for the first time in years and it was just as atrocious as I remembered.

Was reminded of this recently. Morning in America. Is that why I'm so tired, Mr. Reagan? Is that why I'm feeling like I've been rudely ripped from a dream into a cold and cruel world? It's Morning In America And Your Alarm Is Going Off For The Fourth Time